Not Such a Grand Canyon

Let's get this out of the way, right up front. The Christy Canyon vagina is probably the worst pocket pussy I have ever had the opportunity to stick my cock in. It may not be the worst in the world, but I know which kind of pocket pussies I am going to steer clear of in the future. As with other toys of this type, the usage is pretty clear, put your erect penis inside and use it to stimulate yourself to orgasm. Can it be done with this toy? My answer is, yes, but there are much more comfortable and less annoying toys available at this price point that will get the job done and you won't feel dirty afterward.

Here is where the trouble begins. The Christy Canyon vagina is made out of rubber. Plain, old, semi-pliable rubber. This rubber STINKS! By stink I don't just mean it isn't good, I mean it actually smells bad. It smells bad enough that if this toy is sitting somewhere in our walk-in closet, without a plastic bag wrapped around it, I can smell it.
The good thing about rubber is that the front of the Canyon looks pretty realistic. One of the bad things about the rubber is that it isn't very pliable which means entry can be uncomfortable. Also, it isn't very good for use as warm up, so you have to use another toy or your hand to get erect before trying to enter the Canyon. The odor indicates that the material is constantly off-gassing. The material is actually oily to the touch as well, which is not very pleasant in my opinion. Additionally, behind the molded front, the tunnel of the Canyon, while somewhat textured, is really more like a thick rubber glove. It has bumps, but it is loose fitting without your hand there to provide resistance.

One of the problems with the rubber used to make the Christy Canyon vagina is that it isn't very pliable so the entry is not very comfortable and doesn't stretch much. Even though I am not a well-endowed guy, my penis opened up the front of the Canyon some during use. If you are a well-endowed guy, I would definitely look elsewhere. The inclusion of "hair" atop the Canyon is an interesting choice. Christy Canyon is a porn star who started work in the mid-80s. I am by no means a porn officiando, but from what I can tell, that means she made porn au naturel so she had a bush which is pretty uncommon in porn now. Evidence seems to indicate that this was not just a tuft of hair atop the entrance to her Canyon as this toy seems to indicate, but all around the entrance. In my opinion, however, the hair doesn't add to the usage experience and it doesn't really help it look more realistic either.

Maybe the one good feature to come out of this toy, and this is a stretch, is that it does include a wired egg vibrator. It operates with two AA batteries and has pretty decent power. Nothing earth-shaking mind you, but a decent vibration. The control for the egg is a dial that is rotated to select speed. Mine seemed to have a short because it would just turn off in the middle range. It seems to work at the lower end pretty reliably and it stays on once I dial it up to the top, but there is a section in the middle where it is hit or miss. I'm not that worried about it since even if the vibrator was working 100% it would not save this toy. I've got other vibrators I can use if I want a reliable middle range, so this wasn't worth fussing over, to me.

So, how do you take care of Christy's Canyon? Well, first thing I want to do is scrub the hell out of it to see if I can get rid of that oily texture and annoying smell. That doesn't really work, but I figured I would give it a shot. I make sure to be careful to take it easy around the "hair" as that stuff pulls out pretty easily. After use, I wash it with soap and hot water (or a toy cleaner works as well) and then let it air dry.
Put it in my toy chest in a cotton bag like all the rest of my toys? I don't think so because every porous toy in my collection would be picking up that awful smell. Better wrap Christy's Canyon up in a zip lock bag to keep that awful smell contained. Not to mention her pubic hair coming out all over the place. Who wants to deal with that?
The Canyon's rubber construction means that water based and silicone based lubricants are okay, but stay away from oil based lubricants as they could degrade the material. Doc Johnson was nice enough to include a 1 oz bottle of water based lube, which is nice since you definitely need lube to use the Canyon.

The Christy Canyon vagina packaging is actually pretty inviting. I wouldn't call it discreet as the front has a picture of the toy inset in a large picture of the porn star and toy inspiration, Christy Canyon. She is not naked, however, but the shot is provocative and shows off what I would consider to be her better "assets". The back of the box has a close up on her face. Three of the sides also include a picture of the front of the toy. I find it a little interesting that there aren't any shots showing the sleeve from the side because the front of a sleeve is just what you look at, the business end of the toy is behind the front. This is definitely a case where I feel like a company put a "false front" on a pretty lousy toy.

If you've read this far, you know that I really do not like the Christy Canyon vagina. Not that this is any indication of the quality of the vagina of the real Christy Canyon. I'm sure the real thing is much better. I mean there's no way it could be this uncomfortable, or smell this bad. Not that I'm ever going to have opportunity to sample the real thing. I'm sure there are some male porn stars out there that could provide a comparative discussion here, but I feel certain that the real Christy Canyon would win every time, at least I hope so. Doc Johnson really did not do a very good job making the Christy Canyon vagina function well and that's a real shame. With the wide selection of excellent masturbation sleeves available, this one is best left on the shelf, that is unless you really want a 3D mold of Christy Canyon's vagina of your very own to hold. Just trust me, there's really no reason to put your cock in there.