Still Doing It - book discontinued by Penguin - review by Tuesday

The title of this review is the last sentence of the first chapter and serves as the point of the entire book. While ageism is rampant in our society, that is only one of many obstacles to good sex for older women. However, it is possible for older women to meet men, have a good sex life and enjoy a satisfying life in general.

During screenings of the documentary film on which this book is based, viewers frequently told the authors that the video gave them hope for the future. The book absolutely has same effect.

In the book, thirty five women are interviewed about their sex lives. The authors state that they had no trouble finding older women willing to talk about sex. The beginning of the book is filled with the inspiring stories of these women meeting men after age sixty including some women entering into new relationships in their seventies and eighties.

Women over sixty five are the fastest growing segment of society, yet they are rarely thought of as sexual beings despite the fact that many women experience a surge of sexual interest after menopause. To complicate matters, men over sixty five are not only less numerous by a substantial margin, but more likely to be married. The percentage of men suffering from erectile dysfunction also increases markedly after age sixty five.

The book also covers non-traditional relationships such as lesbian, polyamory and share-a-man arrangements. The authors predict that non-traditional relationships will increase among older women in future decades. There is an entire chapter on self-pleasure as an option for older women who find themselves single.

The book does cover some of the physical aspects of aging that can make sex more problematic, but not enough attention was given to this in my opinion. As someone who had begun to experience some symptoms of vaginal atrophy before I started estrogen therapy, I would have liked a more thorough discussion of those issues and the options for dealing with them. They were only touched on in this book.

The final chapters veer away from a discussion of sex and focus instead on women enjoying life in general as they age. These chapters contain stories of women continuing to be creative and passionate, even if they're not "still doing it." Women are free to redefine their goals along with what brings them joy and satisfaction as they grow older. They are enjoying some of the advantages of advancing age - knowing exactly what you want and reduced concern about what others think. As people grow closer to the end of their lives, the importance of making the most of available time increases. The women interviewed in this book realize this. Their stories will inspire you and raise your spirits.

I have a number of years to go before I'm sixty, but I plan to be among those depicted in the beginning of the book, continuing to enjoy sex and deriving joy from life for as long as possible.