The Whole Lesbian Sex Book - erotic book by Cleis Press Inc. - review by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

Sexytime! So much sexytime!

If there's a vagina somewhere in your sex life (whether it be yours, someone else's, or both) you need to pick up a copy of this book. It covers so much more than just lesbian sex. You'll learn about everything under the sun. From masturbation to anal fisting, BDSM play to female sexual health. The first edition I got was mind-blowing, and this one tops that brilliantly. Witty, engaging, highly informative. It should be required reading.
So much information! Applies to anyone regardless of orientation. Brilliantly written.
The sex toy chapter was a little disorganized and missing good information.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review

About author

Felice Newman is a bit of an idol of mine. She's doing exactly what I want to do. Her undying passion is to help improve the sex lives of everyone out there. She studied Human Sexuality at the San Francisco Sex Information and Body Electric School (which is where I dream of attending one day). She's a force to be reckoned with in the world of sexual education, as she has appeared on several different and very respected television shows and websites. She is also the co-founder of Cleiss Press, which many, if not all of us sexy bookworms are incredibly familiar with. A good portion of her writing is geared towards lesbians, but it information that is useful to anyone regardless of their gender.
    • Engaging
    • Expert author
    • Well known author

Content / Style / Audience

Let me take a deep breath right here so I can cover everything that's jammed into this phenomenal book:

Chapter 2: Desire and Fantasy
What do you want? What do you dream of? What fulfills and satisfies you? This chapter asks all of those questions. Are you a true kinkster? So you have a fetish for women in sexy fishnets and stilletos? Right here it asks the reader to really sit down and think of these things. You can be sexually satisfied unless you know what your passions are.

Chapter 3: Anatomy and Sexual Response
This one is really, really comprehensive. It takes you on a fun tour of female anatomy, but the physiology as well without sounding like a biology book. There's mention of the effect hormones, anti-depressants, medication, and other issues women struggle with on the sex drive and sexual function.

Chapter 4: Orgasm
Sex without orgasms isn't the most fulfilling type of sex out there. How can you have an orgasm if you don't really know much about them? This chapter explains the different types of orgasms, how you can have them, what may be stopping you from having them, and what you can do to make them better.

Chapter 5: The Road to Heaven Leads to You
A good sex life requires a good mental state. Taking care of yourself, learning to appreciate and love yourself, and freeing yourself from the mental things that are holding you back are what this chapter stresses and it's practical knowledge and thought for life overall. It covers body image, sexual health, diet considerations, self-esteem, and confidence.

Chapter 6: Masturbation
You can't have a good sex book without information on masturbation. Especially a lesbian sex book. One thing I appreciated about this chapter is that it didn't drag on trying to convince you that masturbation is okay and you shouldn't be ashamed of it like other books do. It was informative, direct, and to the point. It introduces the tools and techniques and suggest that you "teach yourself some new tricks". How fun!

Chapter 7: Communicating and Finding Sex Partners
Finding and connecting with others out there with compatible desires can be quite difficult in the world of gay and bisexual people (as well as the trans, kink, and poly communities). This chapter guides you through the options out there for meeting people, how to open up and communicate about your wishes, how to express boundaries, and how to do this all in a safe manner. This chapter can be applied to just about anyone with "unconventional" sexualities.

Chapter 8: Sex and Partnership
Here we get into sex and intimacy in the context of relationships. How to communicate your desires and needs to a partner. What to do about incompatible sex drives. How to keep things passionate and exciting. Again, this can be applied to any relationship out there.

Chapters 9-13: Breast Play, Clitoral Play, Oral Sex, Vaginal Penetration, and Anal Penetration
This is where the sexual activities come to focus. Each chapter gives you a rundown of the mechanics of each sort of play, how to pull them off and make them pleasurable, things you should consider about each type, and it gives you some tips and tricks to keep up your sleeve. It's very comprehensive information that isn't dumbed down for completely clueless people. It's something that those with no or plenty of experience can learn from.

Chapter 14: Gender (Not Destiny)
The focus of this chapter is the grey area of gender and how it's not something that's set in stone. It defines what gender is and that feelings that conflict with your biological sex are perfectly normal and you should accept and work with them in a positive way. It dedicates a section to partners of trans men and women. Sexual orientation gets a good bit of attention. There's also info on "playing with the boys" which you wouldn't expect from a "lesbian sex book". The expressions of butch and femme are brought to light and explained in a very informative way.

Chapter 15: Play Nice! (. . . Or Else)
Hooray! This book also covered BDSM in a rather elaborate way. There's a short introduction to it. Negotiation for BDSM activities is covered. The psychology of BDSM is touched on. Tips, tricks, and toys are thrown in there. Just like one of the first chapters it encourages taking time to consider what you're into or curious about. As with any material on BDSM it goes over safety precautions for BDSM play that are incredibly important during any play.

Chapter 16: Play Parties and Public Sex
This chapter focuses on just what the title suggests. It's a brief introduction to play parties. It throws out some info on how to enjoy yourself, proper etiquette, and how to play safely.

Chapter 17: Sex Toys and Accouterments
It's easy for sex toy information to become a bit outdated. (There is so much more info in this updated edition that wasn't in the other.) I was surprised to see that they spent a little time mentioning CyberSkin but also mentioned that it can get really gross sometimes. Silicone lubes are mentioned (Eros Bodyglide, ID Millenium, Wet Platinum). Then glycerine-free lubes come next (Sliquid, Liquid Silk, Maximus). The attention turns back to materials and pyrex glass, stainless steel, and acrylic are covered. Next it briefly lists some of the variations of vibrators out there. There's a brief mention of harnesses and a little section about how to introduce toys to a partner.

After this we get into how to choose sex toys. The Hitachi makes an appearance in here, as well as the Nexus. They mention the Crystal Wand as the best of all time G-spot toy (but I haven't ever heard of it and don't know if they've met the Pure Wand). Next we get to anal toys and how to choose and use them safely. There are a couple sentences in here that made me cringe, though. "Jelly dildos are a great choice for anal penetration." "Choose cheap rubber and jelly dildos. A condom can hide their unappealing texture and look." Eww. Gross. Harnesses get their own section now. Then comes a couple of paragraphs on BDSM gear. Finishing it up comes a section on how to properly care for your toys. (It would have been great if they organized this chapter a little better. There was no mention of silicone in the section covering materials. It's a good starting point for information.)

Chapter 18: Safer Sex and Gynecological Health
This chapter wraps up the book with everything you need to know about safe sex, STDs, and other female health concerns. It's quite educational and should be required reading for every woman out there.

In the last pages of the book you'll find an impressive list of references for further reading on every subject that's been touched on, as well as a list of resources that includes communities, stores and companies, and places to meet women.
    • Humorous
    • Instructional / educational


In the last pages of the book you'll find an impressive list of references for further reading on every subject that's been touched on, as well as a list of resources that includes communities, stores and companies, and places to meet women.

I love the design of this book. The illustrations are amazing. The women depicted in the book are all of diverse cultures, ethnicity, and body type. Not to mention, they're all fun and artsy. These are just a few of them that weren't so . . . intense.



And yes, here is a vagina, but it's to demonstrate how fun these illustrations are while still being highly informative at the same time. (And we're all adults here.)

    • Diagrams / photos included
    • Well made

Personal comments

I'm incredibly glad I decided to replace the copy I had years ago when I was a young lady who realized she liked other young ladies. I'd suggest it to any woman (or biological female) out there regardless of their sexual orientation, age, gender, or anything for that matter. It contains more information than a whole library of other books. It doesn't dumb down anything or treat the reader as a total beginner. I have quite a bit of experience and there was a lot that this book taught me. I've read books strictly on female ejaculation that did nothing but bore me and tell me things I already knew but didn't really help anything. Reading this book actually made it possible for me.
Follow-up commentary
I've learned so much from this book. I remember how much I adored my first copy and I'm glad I got the chance to pick up a second one. Some of the things I was taught still stick with me today. It's one of the most useful and educational books on female sexuality that's out there.
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  • Missmarc
    Great review, thank you for the pictures
  • Kake aka PoeticErotica
    Great review! Thank you!
  • megan1987
    thanks for the review!
  • shySEXXaddict
    sounds interesting..thanx for writing a review on it
  • VelvetDragon
    Super review, love that you included those pictures!
  • Blooddragon
    Great pics. TY.
  • thisisadeletedaccount
    Great review! Thanks for providing some examples of the illustrations, looks like a heck of a book.
  • nosrslylol
    Thanks for your review!
  • jessi2
    Thank you for making me NEED to buy this book!
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