Mating in Captivity - book by Harper Collins - review by queertastic

Mating in Captivity

Book by Harper Collins

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Unlock the Reasons Behind Sexless Relationships

This book gives you more than just advice on how to rekindle your sexual relationship. It teaches you how to break down the preconceived notions you have of your partner and truly see them in a new light. The author gives lots of great insight into different aspects of why passion and sex fizzle as a relationship progresses. Although this book reads a bit like a college textbook, it is packed full of great information!
Informative writing style

Personal stories from clients
Textbook style writing with statistics
Rating by reviewer:
useful review

About author

Esther Perel (the author) is a psychologist who has a private practice in New York City. Perel uses the stories her clients and others have told her in her practice in her book to make the stories and her examples come to life. Perel speaks on a personal level of her experiences with multicultural issues, the GLBTQ population (although she is currently not seeing transgender clients), and her inspiration for the book - the love that her parents shared throughout their marriage.

Esther Perel lives with her husband and two children in New York City.
    • Engaging
    • Very personal approach

Content / Style / Audience

"Mating In Captivity" covers a host of topics surrounding the ideas of sex, intimacy, passion and relationships. The book specifically discusses "the sexless marriage" and how to revive passion in your relationship.

Specific topics covered in the book include:

1. From Adventure to Captivity - Why the Quest for Security Saps Erotic Vitality
2. More Intimacy, Less Sex
3. The Pitfalls of Modern Intimacy
4. Democracy Versus Hot Sex
5. Can Do!: The Protestant Work Ethic Takes on the Degradation of Desire
6. Sex is Dirty: Save it for Someone You Love
7. Erotic Blueprints: Tell Me How You Were Loved & I'll Tell You How To Make Love
8. Parenthood
9. Of Flesh and Fantasy
10. The Shadow of the Third: Rethinking Fidelity
11. Putting the 'X' Back in Sex

I think that this book is best geared toward couples who enjoy books that are written in an educational almost textbook style with informative statistics and illustrative examples. For those who don't like numbers, statistics, and textbook-style writing, be warned; this book isn't for you.

This book might be better used by sex therapists or others in the psychology profession to help clients in a sexless relationship.
    • Good mix of styles and content
    • Instructional / educational
    • Text book style

Personal comments

This book really helped me to reconnect with my partner in more than just a sexual sense. We are a lot closer since reading this book for a variety of reasons. If you and your partner's sexual relationship is dwindling, I'd suggest reading this book.

Be warned, though, that most of the examples deal with heterosexual couples and very little emphasis is given to the GLBT population within the context of the book. This being said, however, this book is still full of great information!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
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Do you like this review?
  • Kayla
    I liked the information in this book, but it was definitely a dry book. Good review though!
  • queertastic
    Thanks, Kay! I have to agree - it was a dry book, but good information. =)
  • C4ss
    Thanks for the review!
  • liilii080
    This looks like something everyone can use to solve problems or avoid them in the first place. Great review!
  • leatherlover
    Thanks for the review. Like liilii080 said, if I get it, I hope to use it only to avoid future problems, not to fix them.
  • Kayla Upside Down
    I was looking into buying this, I think I just will! Thanks for the review
  • Solar Ray
    Nice review. Thanks
  • Kayla777
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