Her guide to going down - book discontinued by Adams Media - review by SneakersAndPearls

I am always looking for ways to improve my oral sex skills and was delighted when I scored this book for review. It wasn't long before my delight turned to disappointment. When I opened the box and flipped the book over, I was immediately put off by the first line of the description on the back. “Master the art of going down – and he'll be yours forever!” Oh, boy. With a ridiculous line like that, I immediately lost hope that this book was even kind of going to be helpful, but I pressed on. I took another look at the front cover. A photo of a man's torso sporting a six-pack. Well, isn't that just...relevant. Maybe the information inside would be better.

I opened the book and flipped through it. Gag. So much...PINK! Why, why? Could some one please explain to me why every time there is a product geared toward women, someone decides it must be pink? The writing on the cover, the trim, the text of the section headings, the chapter guides at the bottom of the pages, first page of each chapter, and even the blocks of texts titled “sex savvy” sprinkled throughout the book are set in big blocks of horrible Pepto Bismol pink! They even took the black and white photos at the start of each chapter and gave them a pink tint. I get a little nauseous looking at it all. The coloring shows that, at the very least, the publisher doesn't understand their market, unless of course their market is men who buy the book and think, “Hey, it's pink! My girl will love it!”

But on to the information. I didn't get far into the introduction before there were all sorts of questionable claims about oral sex being the way for great orgasms. Not a way. The way. The ridiculousness goes on like that. A bit later, the text warns to “be mindful of the messages you're getting about oral sex, recognizing how the media may be influencing your thoughts and practices around such pleasuring.” The irony was not lost on me. At this point, I was thinking that this is so terrible, it's like reading a really bad sex article in Cosmo. Upon further inspection, I found that one place you can find articles from this author is, yes, Cosmo.

Moving on. Next comes some decent information dealing with male anatomy and the stages of sexual arousal that beginners will find of interest. Anyone who is not a sexual beginner can just breeze on by. On to the tongue. Hey, did you know that your tongue can move, is covered in tiny bumps, can taste, and is wet? Oh, you did? Well, apparently the author thought you needed to be told that.

Then we come to the section dealing with positions. Half of them are so standard that any beginner will know them. The other half are so ridiculous, that even if you somehow managed to get into those positions, you wouldn't be able to stay there for long. Two hilariously awful ones that stood at to me were the standing 69 and the “Wrap Around,” where the female, I kid you not, sits behind the man on the couch and then tries to wrap her torso around his side to reach is penis.

Inserted at this point is a section on foreplay that can be summed up this way: kissing is a good thing and don't forget lip balm. Then a few tips and tricks, some arguably absurd. For instance, the book suggests that I sprinkle cinnamon all over his bits and lick it off. That sounds horrible. I asked my husband about it, and he said, “That doesn't sound like fun to me.” Yeah, me either.

There are a few sections on common mistakes, but most of the information is fairly obvious, like beware of your teeth. From there we move into a few decent passages about communication, safety, and other male erogenous zones besides the penis, but any sex book will have the same info. It's nothing special.

In the end, I just can't in good conscience recommend this book. The information is too silly to recommend to advanced users, and there is way too much emphasis on the importance of oral sex being the sexual activity in relationships for me to recommend it to beginners. But don't worry, because I'm sure you'll love it. How can you not? After all, it's pink. You love pink, don't you?

This book now lives in the bottom of my closet. I was thinking about gifting it to a friend, but I really don't want to pass on the ridiculous "information" in this book. I think I'll actually be throwing it away or finding a way to recycle it.