You Compleat Me: what makes The Compleat Spanker a must in every serious assburner's library

Lady Green is the scene/pen name of Janet Hardy, the sexpert who brought us such irrefutable wisdom as The Ethical Slut. I'll admit to a certain bias in that I can't imagine anything she's written that I wouldn't dive into with an open mind and drooling mouth.

I bought this as a gift around the holidays and discovered that I simply couldn't give it up.

Let me explain. It didn't tell me anything I didn't know already. I am, in fact, quite a proficient spanker. Strangers sometimes seek me out at play parties or erotic conferences to ask to be on the ass-end of my proficient paddle or hand. Okay, I didn't know all the technical, medical details about what makes an ass so perfectly spankable in the Chapter: Anatomy of a Spankee.

The reason why I couldn't give the book up is because it contains literally everything you would want or need to know. It is Compleat.

I need to have this book on my shelf (probably a few extra copies wouldn't hurt) because in my personal and professional life, there are people I will want to loan it to.

Let me explain. I'm out in the kink community. I meet newbies: people just coming out of the kinky closet or those who need/want a tour guide to the reality of D/s lifestyle or BDSM practices they've only read about or seen on CSI. The kink-centric term for this role is Mentor or Protector.

A Protector is someone who helps a "bottom" or "submissive" to safely navigate the community, avoid predators, to learn/explore her interests and limits, and the fine arts of negotiation and play partner selection. (Logic exercise 101: submissives are all bottoms, but not all bottoms are submissive.)

A Mentor is what a new Dominant or Top seeks. An established and experienced Top will often select someone whose skills they respect to Mentor them when they are learning a new tool, toy, or technique. The "I don't need no stinking teachers" attitude is the mark of a wannabe and a person whose paddle/flogger you don't want to be on the business end of.

I mentor. Handing someone a book like The Compleat Stranger is so much easier than asking someone to take notes. You might think... yeah, but I don't share my erotic library like that.

Bullshit.

This is the perfect book to share with the partner you'd like to spank or be spanked by. Leave it on his/her pillow. It's a helluva'n icebreaker (Or loan it to a friend to leave on her partner's pillow).

The book includes all the basics on safewords, aftercare, emotional fallout, avoiding or reducing bruises, spanking fantasies and positions. Includes resource guide and appendixes on Finding Others and Cleaning Sex Toys --detailed, *compleat* when/why/how-tos, not platitudes.

No sex educator (or therapist) should be without this book. It's gentle. It's thorough. It's not condescending. It's the perfect thing to hand to that blushing client who wants to understand why they feel this way (or why their partner does) and what next?

Let me explain. I bought this book for my son-in-law, because what my daughter wanted for Christmas was what he'd be better able to give her after reading it. I ended up giving them a different intro book (Which she has thanked me for. Often). My son and his girlfriend got autographed copies of Jay Wiseman's Bondage 101 DVDs. Yes, I am the coolest mom ever.

I never spanked my children, having held to the life-long credo that discipline is for your lovers and other consenting adults. I have two 20-something children with excellent negotiation and communication skills and an eagerness and confidence to explore the world (sexual and non) and what it has to offer.

I need to buy more copies of The Compleat Spanker. One for my son-in-law. One for my son's fiance. And one for my therapist.

Simple design. Well laid out. A hairbrush on the cover without a hand model or ass in sight tells you everything you need to know.

Here is the tool. Use it as you will.

It's tricky to answer the question, "Is the cover discreet?" It's not explicit. You could read it in a coffee shop or on the bus, and even if someone saw one of the line drawings over your shoulder (the forms are without explicit details and not pornographic... personally I found the little ink smudges indicating the reddening ass cheeks arousing), it would get you a raised eyebrow, but no more.

On the other hand, if by discreet you mean invisible. Hell, no. The word Spanker blazoned across the cover in 72 pt type is going to out you at a glance. Don't read it in church unless you want the sinners to find you later.