Girls do cry

For a big price tag and a little container, this really isn't worth it. The scent is terrible, it doesn't moisturize enough, and it will leave your tush looking like Edward Cullen in the sun.
Nice packaging
Thick Cream
Bad smell
Not moisturizing
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


I think this would be best used as a fun thing for a couple to use after spanking. It would also make a really cute gift for someone you know likes spanking, or a good joke for someone else.
Because this cream has quite a long list of ingredients, it is quite possible that someone could have an allergic reaction. It is for external use only.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bridal gift
    • Massage
    • Mood enhancer
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Skin

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

This cream felt cheap from the get-go. While it wasn't sticky or greasy, there just wasn't much to it. It reminded me of cheap lotion you can buy at the dollar store. It was thick enough that it wouldn't easily spill out of the jar, which was a plus, as things can easily get knocked over when you are using them in bed. It smooths on decently, and it is easy to grab a small amount out of the container.
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

The worst part of this cream is the smell. I was really excited about this because it has almond oil in it, which smells great. Unfortunately that smell was masked by all the other scents. The scent is called Tahitian Gardenia. What it reminds me of is a combination of "old lady" perfume and expired perfume. It is a very strong scent. I rubbed a very small amount on my wrist, and the entire room smelled like it, and it lasted for hours. I did not taste it, but I can't imagine it would taste very pleasant. My boyfriend also thought it was strong and unpleasant smelling.
    • Bad smell
    • Strong smell


Another aspect I didn't much care for in this cream was the sparkle effect. The description reads "glows a pearlescent sheen. Your body will shimmer with velvety softness." Somehow I did not read this to mean it actually had glitter in it. I personally don't care for glitter, and I could have gotten past it if the cream was great otherwise, but it wasn't. I didn't feel like it moisturized very well at all. I put some on one cheek and not on the other. Almost immediately they both felt the same, it was as if I had rubbed water on then dried it off. It didn't do anything special after spanking to calm the red or the sting. I didn't take any time to wash it off specifically, I just let it come off in the shower.
    • Dries up too fast


The packaging was quite nice. While it was just a box, it reminded me of more expensive cosmetic and beauty product packaging. Instructions were included, both a pamphlet and on the container. I wouldn't save the packaging, as it would be unnecessary and just add bulk. The container would be suitable for travel, it closes nicely and I trust that it wouldn't spill. The container is not discreet, as it clearly has after spanking cream on it.
    • Does not leak
    • Travel friendly
    • Would make a nice gift

Personal comments

After trying this out a few times, I will not be using it again. I love the idea, and I think the packaging is great, so I may just refill the container with some other lotion.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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This review was edited by
  • K101 Contributor: K101
  • Rank:
    6.8 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 335
Subscribe to comments
  • Contributor: Cat E.
    Good review!
  • Contributor: CountryPrincess
    Thanks so much for your review!!
  • Contributor: chicmichiw
    Lame! I'll pass on this one
  • Contributor: LoneOokami
    Thanks for the info.
  • Contributor: G.L. Morrison
    Edward Cullen LOLZ! No doubt many teens have fantasized spanking his sparkly butt. This is smart, funny writing.
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