Lulu edible massage oil by Luz de la Riva - review by Fuck it.

Massage oil in my house is an excuse for somebody to take their shirt off. It's foreplay in a bottle. I don't think I need to explain the idea of rubbing somebody down to you guys, you're all pretty smart.

The internet tells me that almond oil (the main ingredient here) can be used as a lubricant if you're NOT using latex condoms. Oil will break latex down. I'm keeping this out of my sexy parts for now, because I don't know if there are any sugars in the flavoring. Yeast infections are no fun. I did email the company, if I hear back I'll be sure to let you know in the follow up!

My favorite use for this massage oil so far has been as a hair treatment. I wouldn't buy it for this purpose, but it did make my hair soft like a bunny. (If you're curious as to how: Rub a teensy bit of the oil into your damp hair and let it sit for at least 20 minutes. A plastic bag on your head is optional. Then wash the oil out. It's magic.)

Well, this is an oil, so the texture is about what you would expect. If you've ever encountered olive/vegetable oil, you know what this stuff is like. It drips. It's excellent for massages because it takes a long time to absorb into your skin. There's no stickiness or strange film.

It also has all of the qualities of oil that I hate. Which is..all of them. I hate the greasy feeling. I hate how runny it is. I don't know what I was expecting from an oil, either! At least now I know that I prefer the feel of a massage candle or lotion.

Honestly, I can't taste the flavoring. My boyfriend says it tastes a little like popcorn. Either way, neither of us got the intended taste. This wouldn't be the best flavor to choose if you were looking for a really sweet massage oil.

Even the smell is closer to a burnt caramel than a Snickers bar until it fades a little, which takes a while. Almost a week later I still get whiffs of it in the bed, and we had put a towel down. I'm iffy on how I feel about the scent. I think I like it most in small doses..which is not when it's covering my back.

A little of this goes a long way. A long, greasy way. It outlasted us, even. I ended up wiping myself down after my massage rather than try to get it to absorb into my skin.

Clean up isn't too bad. I've intentionally put it in my hair and didn't have trouble getting it out. It washes off of skin even easier. Clothing and bedding are another story. Oil is a pain to get out of fabric. If you have an accident, sprinkling baby powder on it should help you out.

The bottle and box are both really pretty and stylish. I did have trouble finding the ingredients list because it's counter-intuitively placed on the bottom on the box. The cap seems pretty solid and I haven't had any leaking, even with my cat periodically knocking it off my desk. The bottle is glass, so I wouldn't take this on a rollerblading trip or anything. Regular modes of travel should be fine.



Aside from the color of the oil, everything looks as shown on the product page. The packaging is really discreet and makes you feel like you've gotten a really high quality product. If we were rating on presentation, this would be an easy 5/5.

I was asked to review this item, so I didn't get to see the price beforehand. I still haven't seen Eden's price, but other places have this going for around $27. It's a two ounce bottle. I can get a bottle of sweet almond oil twice as big for three bucks. I understand wanting 'couture' or luxury items. I don't get the feeling that Luz de la Riva is on that level.

In the email I sent asking about the flavors, I also asked if the almond oil they used came from a particular place or was special. I expect a price like this for an organic/fair trade/otherwise friendly-sourced product. I have the feeling that it's not any of those things.

I took off a star for the company essentially charging for a pretty bottle and the word 'couture'. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this stuff does tricks I'm not aware of. I would love to know what makes this luxurious or high end. Seriously, tell me if you find out. I hate feeling like a party pooper.