Masturbation cream for men
by Wicked

Wicked For Men

Sick of using soap when you jerk your chicken? Jealous of your female partner's impressive collection of girly lubricant? Here's a product just for you. Now you have all the class and longevity of a cream made with masturbation in mind, with bonus vitamins and a pleasant scent. Be careful though, because it isn't safe for use with condoms and might not last as long as your old standby. But really, why complain about having a product that will make your junk smell like coconuts?
- Smells nice
- Glides and warms up well
- Guy-friendly packaging
- Does not last as long as it could
- Pricey
- Not safe for much else besides male masturbation
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


As the bottle states, this is a masturbation crème for men. Plain and simple, this oil-based product is not as universally friendly as the standard water-based lubricant, but that doesn't mean it can't get the job done. It can add a little extra something to your stand-by routine, add slickness in the shower, and also makes hand jobs a breeze.

Sadly, the ingredients that make it so great for men make it incompatible for activities with the rest of us. It isn't safe to use with most toys, or in and around the vulva. You cannot use this product during condom-protected sex, vaginal or otherwise, as it quickly degrades latex products. If you really wanted to, you could use this during anal sex, but due to the fragile nature of the rectum, you would need to pair it with an expensive latex-free condom.

The only thing I've found this product useful for outside of my partner's masturbation is as a hand moisturizer. Seeing as it contains vitamin E, aloe extract, and coconut oil, this doesn't come as a surprise.

This product is not tailored for those with allergen concerns. Be sure to fully check the product list if you have sensitivities. A few ingredients I noted that might cause a reaction are: methylparaben, propylparaben, and glycerin. If you have an allergy to coconuts or almonds (or general tree nut allergies, for that matter) you'll want to skip this product, as it has both in oil form.
    • Masturbation

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

Wicked's Crème lubricant is slick, thick and easy to pour. It comes out of the bottle in the form of white droplets, similar to hair conditioner, and it stays wherever you put it. It does not run off of one's body parts, or drip.

Only after warming up to your body temperature does it budge an inch. The formula is designed to change into a liquid lubricant on touch, and though this makes it a bit greasy it really helps with the jacking off process. That being said, the change is less like a stick of butter melting in the microwave and more like a pile of whipped cream turning soft after being placed on a warm slice of pie. Heat does not change the color of the product nor does it cause a major different in the consistency. The oils simply become easier to move.

Since the product does not easily absorb into the skin (it is oil after all, and our skin's cells have a lipid bi-layer that prevents most absorption of outside fats), there is a tendency for it to build up. Be careful when you squeeze the bottle since a little goes a long way.
    • Oily
    • Slick
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

I was surprised by the smell of this cream. I thought for sure since this was meant as a male's product they would have gone for a different scent, if they bothered to try for one at all. But I should have known better. The second ingredient is coconut oil, followed by sweet almond oil, and it shows.

Now, it doesn't quite smell like the almond extract or the coconut shavings you might have in your pantry, but it is close. The scents are subdued thanks to the other parts in the formula, but that doesn't make it bad. Most men will be glad their dick doesn't smell like they walked out of a girly candle store. The closest thing I can compare it to is a less-sugary version of Suave's coconut shampoo.

I did not try to taste this product. With the glycerin and Parabens included I did not want to ingest it. It would be a safe bet to say that the taste is similar but not identical to the smell, and also probably quite bitter. If you would like to give your male-bodied partner oral after he has used this product I would advise you wipe off any leftovers and use a flavored water-based lube or a mint instead.
    • Bad taste
    • Light smell
    • Smells good


As a men's lubricant I was expecting this to hold up a lot better than it did. When I used it on my partner for a hand job, I found I had to keep re-applying it, but not as often as the water-based formulas we normally go for. It was not that the product was absorbed or dried up but rather that it ran thin after a certain amount of friction. I revitalized it with smaller droplets throughout the evening in order to keep it fresh.

Given that the average hand job is not as firm as most men's masturbation habits, I was a little shocked. If it wouldn't hold up against my hand, how would it hold up against the death grip of my partner's? Apparently, pretty well. Compared to the soap he normally used it lasted way longer, had less mess, and just plain felt amazing. I wasn't sure his opinion reflected his lack of experience using sexual lubricants on his own, or the differences between his behavior and our play together.

After everything was said and done, I determined that the reason for the different qualities in experience could be attributed to one variable: time. Our sessions together were much longer than when he was by himself. I determined that this lube is best for times when one will be finished in less than 20 minutes, but any longer than that and it will tend to wear out its welcome. If you are the sort that needs a long time to finish, you ought to upgrade to a premium silicone formula instead.

Once you are done with those 20 minutes, you'll want to wipe down with water to remove the residue. If you are a man by yourself this isn't written in stone, since it can be rubbed into the skin, but it is a good idea. If you want to move onto fingering or some other activity after getting this on your hands then you should definitely scrub your mitts clean first.

You can also use this in the shower, should you so desire. The oils keep it from wearing away against the droplets, and it makes cleaning up post-orgasm that much easier. Just don't stand directly in the spray of the shower head, since the force of the pressure will cause the lubricant to be blasted away.
    • Allergy concerns
    • Not compatible with all materials
    • Performance


I'm not sure why every company that makes men's sexual products feels the need to use black labeling. The bottle is a dead ringer for Lelo's personal moisturizer, even if it isn't as big. It also reminds me of the Jo for Men line. Not to say I'm complaining about the packaging; far from it, I just find it curious they feel the need to rip one another off when it comes to marketing for the male gender. When I purchased this in the store I originally thought it was a Jo product, since that's how similar the designs are. Not to mention the fact the two were placed right next to one another. Very clever, Wicked.

Anyway, the packing is classy. I am used to seeing jack-off lubes that are a bit more... flamboyant, if you please. The one thing I would change would be to move the "masturbation cream for men" subtext to the back of the bottle or just remove it. With that one change, it would be completely discreet. With a little sharpie that statement can easily be covered, so I suppose I can't bellyache too much. Other than that it would fit right in with some salon hair gel. With the 4 ounce size it isn't suitable for airplane travel, but you can always get a travel bottle for it and disguise it as conditioner.

I also like the design of the bottle, ergonomically speaking. It is set up so the part containing the liquid is forced to the bottom, near the opening, so that you can be sure to get every last drop. It stands up easily and you will not have to worry about getting every last drop out. Do be careful though, because this makes it easy to get way too much if you are not careful.
    • Discreet looking packaging
    • Minimal
    • Would make a nice gift

Personal comments

I would like to add that I purchased this as a gift for my partner. Most men use Vaseline, baby oil, or even soap to jerk off with. Since he was going away to school and we would not be able to see one another, I wanted to get him something that would get him more used to using a lighter hand during masturbation, and something that would hold up better than the hodgepodge of other things he was using.

It fairs better than those home products of course, but I'm not sure twelve bucks is fair for the size, given how often some men like to wank. If it came in a larger size, say, 6 or 8 ounces for about sixteen dollars I would be a happy camper.


As I mentioned before, my partner enjoyed this lubricant. What I did not get to mention much is how I felt about it.

While it works great as a men's aide, I legitimately cannot recommend it for anything else. I do not normally have a sensitive vulva, even though I prefer to use products with sensitive skin in mind, but this sure irritated me. Once we were done focusing on him, and it was time to move on to me, we did not wash our hands at first. My clitoris was greeted with an unpleasant burning sensation. Even after cleaning up, it still came back. I had to stop and take a wash cloth to my lady bits before we could continue. I shudder to think what could have happened if any had ended up in my vagina. I imagine it would have been yeast infection central.

The moral of the story is to not use this with us female-bodied folks. It will not be pleasant.
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  • Contributor: Ansley
    Impressive review! I wish I could nom it for the rumble but since you won last week's I guess I'll just have to look forward to your next review.

    I do have to say that I really wish companies would get off this freakin' coconut kick. Not everyone likes the smell and for some it's down-right off-putting, and by some I mean myself and my husband. Why not a nice, light musk? Why must everything smell like a strip club/tanning bed gone wild?
  • Contributor: Sincerely yours, N
    Thanks for the awesome review! It's a shame that this product is not as awesome as you had hoped. I wouldn't think they'd make a product for men smell like coconuts!
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