7 function wireless remote vibe - bullet discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by gwenevieve

This 7 function wireless wonder by Doc Johnson is a cheap but still great way to enjoy teasing your partner and having them under your control. This vibe and remote pair could be used for couples looking to spice-up things, or for some hands-free solo play. It is meant to be used internally, which is supposed to make it discreet, but I personally preferred using it as a clitoral vibrator. Although it is a little loud, if positioned correctly it could easily be extremely discreet. The remote is also small enough to not be seen in public, and can even be clipped onto your keys for extra discreetness.

The vibrator is relatively small with ridges or bubbles that provide a sort of texture, although I didn't find that it helped or hurt this vibe's use--they were just sort of there. The vibe is velvety and made from PU-coated plastic, meaning it's phthalate-free and is compatible with both water- and silicone-based lubes. With a safety rating of 7, this isn't the best egg/remote combination, but it is a cheaper option for those of us who are unable to drop a hundred or more dollars on a novelty like this. Like most vibrators, this one is simple to wash--just soap and warm water, or toy cleaner if you'd prefer. Make sure to be careful when cleaning, as this toy is not waterproof and getting water into the battery container WILL mess it up!

As for the remote--it's your basic, plastic remote.

I'm not terribly experienced with bullets and smaller vibrators, to be honest. This toy did seem to be a little large to be considered a bullet, so it really is more closely related to an egg, I believe. It's a good size to fit comfortably (about 4") but if you're looking for something to fill you, then keep looking. Because of its small size, this is a very easy toy to hide.

Here's where things get a little tricky. This vibrator has 7 options for pleasure, and they're all amazingly different for once. The 7 functions are:

1) low, "normal" vibration
2) slightly stronger "normal" vibration
3) strongest "normal" vibrations this vibe has to offer
4) low pulsing vibrations
5) slightly stronger pulsing vibrations
6) pulsates more, but strength of vibrations is the same
7) pulsates even more and the vibrations are the strongest of all settings

All of the pulsing vibrations vary slightly--some are long-short-long, for example.

As for the remote, the controls could definitely be better. What is annoying about this toy is that, instead of having 7 different buttons for each function, there's one button with a "7" on it that you have to go through to get to whatever you're looking for. The remote also has the on/off switch for this toy.

The batteries this thing uses are, to be honest, quite dumb. I've never seen them before in my life. I expected watch batteries, but no, these are normal-looking batteries, but small. So, it runs on 12V-1 and N-3, whatever those are. Good luck finding them after the ones that come with this run out. (Hey, at least they give you some, I guess.)

Due to its small size and lack of texture (overall, anyway), this toy is a breeze to clean up. No, you can't just throw it in the dishwasher, but all it takes is a little bit of soap, some warm water, and a washcloth, and you're done. The remote shouldn't need cleaning, but if it does happen to get messy, just wiping it down with a wet washcloth should definitely be good enough.

I stored mine in the original box it came in, only I threw away the clamshell packaging that was inside it. Then I stored the box in my EF tote bag. I should probably invest in something better to keep my toys in, but until then it's staying in its box.

About the remote: according to reviews for other remote-controlled vibes, it's pretty common to have to point the remote directly at the vibe (and very closely) in order for it to work. This is not the case for this toy! I found that the remote works from very far away and pointing any direction you can think of. It's really very handy.