Always a Teaser, Never a Pleaser

Lina is a cute, super discreet vibrator from the Berman Center. It is really one of the most unassuming sex toys I've ever laid eyes upon. Looking much like any other pen, and being able to write like one too, sets Lina apart from the rest. Lina can be used in several ways. I enjoyed her most externally, on my nipples and clitoris. She comes with a TPR Silicone sleeve which can be slipped over her cap for added stimulation. The nubs lining the sleeve lend something truly special to her vibrations. I had the best experience using Lina when coupled with the textured sleeve. Lina can also be used internally, though it's a bit tricky to hold on to as the other end of the pen tapers inward. I didn't use her in this way very often, as I was too afraid I'd lose my grip and not be able to pull her out! She should NEVER be used anally, because of her small size and lack of a flared base. The vibrations aren't breathtaking, but they're rather strong for such a small package. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I could tease myself through layers of clothes with much success. She's also great just to trace along your body, for a light tickling sensation.

Lina's body is made of silver plastic, which is hypo-allergenic, and both phthalates & latex free. It has no smell, and is smooth to touch, making it easy to glide across whatever bodily surface you might choose. I love her smooth body, and often find myself running my fingers up and down her length. Because the pen is plastic, it's very firm and perfect for putting pressure right where it's needed.

The textured sleeve that accompanies Lina is made of TPR silicone, and has a barely noticeable odor. It creates a kind of suction when placed over the pen or a finger, and is slightly difficult to remove. The good thing concerning this is that the sleeve won't easily slip off during use. Small, soft nubs cover about 2/3 of the sleeve. I wasn't too sure about the texture when I first laid eyes on this, but it's very gentle and light on your lady parts. Okay, I admit it... I'm in love with a finger tickler.

Lina is described as 6 inches in total length, with 5 of those inches being insertable. The pen itself is only 5 3/4", but when you place the sleeve over the cap it adds an additional 1/4" to the length, making it an even 6". The diameter of the pen is 3/4" without the sleeve, and roughly a solid 1" with it. She's small enough for a beginner, but probably not very fulfilling for a more experienced audience. Perfect for shallow insertion, even though she's a bit hard to grip. Just be careful if you're using her internally. Lina is a somewhat sparkly silver in color. She's adorned with the Berman Center's logo in a classy pink color (the logo, by the way, looks like a vague outline of a woman with her arms spread wide). The words Open, On, & Off are clearly labeled in a matching pink tone on the pen's cap. The cap twists off to allow insertion of the batteries, and if twisted the opposite way activates the vibrator. Considering this was supposed to be a discreet item, I didn't appreciate that it was so clearly labeled. I want to know how it works, but I don't need every body else to know! There's also a huge pink crystal on the top of the pen, which is covered by a clear plastic cap. That didn't exactly scream discreet to me either. More like "Child magnet". Overall I'm pleased with the design, but I would have preferred something a little less conspicuous.

Lina runs on 4 watch batteries; You get 8 in the package. I understood after my first use of this toy why exactly they give you not one, but two sets of batteries. These batteries die. Which I guess is a little silly to say, since all batteries will die, eventually. Let me elaborate: These batteries die really, really fast! You are advised to remove the batteries when not using the toy, because otherwise they'll still get drained. I had a problem with the fact that this runs on watch batteries because of the fact that they drain so quickly. After the initial use, every other time was less than amazing. I'll get about 5 minutes out of it. Then the power will start to slowly drain, and the vibrations will get weaker and weaker until you can barely feel (or hear) them. As far as noise factor goes, this vibrator isn't really all that loud. It emits a soft hum which can't be heard across the room or through a closed door. Even if heard, it could easily be mistaken for a phone or pager. The vibrations are centered in Lina's cap, where the bullet is. They're the strongest at this point, but can be felt fairly strongly throughout the length of the pen's body. Unfortunately with Lina, there are only two modes: On and Off. Her vibrations should be sufficient enough for most, but it would have been nice if there were different levels or modes of vibration. Lina is NOT waterproof. So as much fun as it would be to take your vibrating pen into the shower, it isn't going to happen.

Lina is made of plastic, and her sleeve is composed of TPR silicone, which makes both a breeze to clean. Simply wash the sleeve with warm water & antibacterial soap, and wipe Lina herself down with a damp, soapy cloth. NEVER submerge Lina for any reason, as you risk damaging her internal workings. Lina doesn't come with any kind of container, besides her original packaging. For this reason I'd suggest investing in a small cloth bag, or saving the molded plastic case she came in for storing her. Only water-based lubricants should be used with this toy.

I felt I should include some information regarding Lina's packaging, as it seems to have changed from the original design. Lina now comes in a clear plastic clamshell case which has molded pockets for Lina, the TPR sleeve, and the watch batteries. Included is a purple slip of paper which proclaims what the product is on the front, and gives instructions and other details on the back. There is also a small folded white slip of paper which has more formal instructions for using Lina; I wish this would have been a bit more obvious, as it almost went unnoticed by me. The instructions and details concerning the product are written solely in English, which is understandable considering how compact the product and packaging is. Even though it's rather simplistic, I really love the packaging she came in. It's perfect to use for storing her as it keeps everything organized and easy to see. The casing isn't sealed, and can be opened just by pulling the front and back of the case apart. I also appreciated the ease of opening and closing it. Really a great design!

When I received this vibrator, I was so ecstatic! A sex toy masquerading as a pen! What more could a writer ask for? What followed next was a week long adventure wherein I attempted to use Lina anywhere & everywhere I could, much to the absolute horror of my lover! I used it in the car (while not driving, of course), in the bathroom, and in bed. The car was actually the funniest of those three, as my partner was driving and having a mild panic attack that someone was going to see the entire time! Overall, those were pretty tame testing grounds though, I admit. Next we moved on to places of a more public persuasion. I turned it on in the movie theater, TWICE, just for kicks. Once was during a dramatic musical number in the movie, and the second time when the credits were rolling after everyone else had left. I was actually surprised to find that the vibrations were masked quite easily by the sounds of the movie. We were sitting alone in the very back row, and didn't receive so much as a stray "shush!" or a glare. You certainly wouldn't want to use it if sitting directly next to anyone, unless for comedic purposes. I then used it in more than one public restroom. The first was, again, at the movie theater. There was a lot of background noise from the trailers they had playing out in the lobby and that probably helped to hide the noise. You couldn't hear it at all! I guess if you had a nosy stall neighbor, they might get suspicious. However, there was no echo, and when applied to the appropriate bodily places, even the nosiest bathroom buddy would be none the wiser! So, the next place I tried it was the restroom at a large chain store, with no background noise. Lina's soft humming was still whisper quiet and probably wouldn't carry well through the room, but the person in the stall next to you might get a little uncomfortable if well versed in the world of women's pleasure objects.

I also wanted to test Lina's ability to masquerade as what she pretended to be. Though she looks like an average pen, would anyone else be the wiser? She blended in quite well at the bank, when signing a check. No funny looks from the teller or any other hint that something was amiss. I jotted down our Taco Bell order right in front of my cousin, and handed it to my horrified lover. Took some quick notes while in my mother's presence, and used Lina to cross off my list at the grocery store. No one really paid any mind to her, but it's not like I was waving the big pink On/Off label around in front of their faces, or flashing them the bedazzled pink crystal. I guess the best way to describe her function as a discreet item is to say this: If you're casual when using her and don't get paranoid around people, they really won't think anything of it. Even if they ask about the On/Off switch, you could just tell them it's one of those crazy singing pens, and the batteries died. But then you might have an eager friend bringing you watch batteries and begging to hear your Lina sing...

Overall, this is a great product! Unfortunately because of her power source, Lina's vibrations alone weren't enough to get me off. Because of her frequency to die before the final act, she's really more of a tease than anything else. However, she works great as a warm up tool, or if you're feeling a little frisky in public! I love her for the novelty alone. Lina: the one pen every writer should own.