Sexy decision - pocket rocket by Orion - review by Shanna Germain

Sexy decision

Pocket rocket by Orion

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And If You Order Now, You Also Get...!

All-in-one: Slicer, dicer, mixer and, if you order now, orange quarter-er! Sure, this jack-of-all trades vibe has the potential to do a lot of things, but it doesn't do any of them really well. Good for beginners (Do you like anal play? Let's find out!) and for travelers when you're tight on space. Otherwise... would it kill you to have three toys (clitoral, g-spot and anal) that each do their job really really well? I didn't think so.
Published:
Pros:
Good for travel and beginners. Lots of options. Quiet.
Cons:
Doesn't excel at anything. Some safety concerns. Only one speed.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

When I first started cooking, I coveted this multi-use tool that would blend, grind, chop and stir, all by simply changing the attachment. It wasn't one of those As Seen on TV items, but it was pretty close -- implying that I could mince some onions and chop some salad for dinner and then whip up not only a cake, but homemade frosting as well, all by virtue of this single tool. Cleaning was a cinch, it promised, and if you bought it now, you'd also get this special, super-duper, handy-dandy add-on that cut oranges into perfect quarters at no extra charge!

After much coveting, I finally purchased said kitchen tool, complete with orange slicer (I can be forgiven -- I was young). I quickly realized that while it did everything it promised, it didn't do any of them very well and it was a serious pain the butt to clean, since it couldn't be thrown in the dishwasher.

That's akin to how I feel about the Sexy Decision: Great concept, poor execution.

The Sexy Decision is designed to do many things, as it's a small vibrator to which you can attach one of three attachments. According to the package, your options are: a G-spot Finger, a Ball Stimulator and a Cup with Nubs (I'll talk more about each of these later).
    • Any couple
    • Sexually inexperienced/beginners

Material / Texture

The main vibrator is made from hard plastic, while the attachments are composed of the slightly more flexible TPR, a polymer blend. The material is phthalates free, which is always nice.

Each of the attachments has its own texture: The clitoral attachment has a bunch of bumps on it (they reminded me of those candy buttons that come lined up on the paper) that are smoothly rounded; the ball attachment has three smooth balls; and the G-spot one is all over smooth. The feel is TPR is not velvety like some other materials, nor slick. It's kind of in the middle, with a slightly textured smoothness (it reminded me of plastic children's toys).

Both the handle and the attachments are sort of a pale violet, but the colors don't match very well (the handle is darker in color, and the attachments seemed to lose even more of their color after being washed).

Design / Shape / Size

When I first saw that attachments, especially the G-spot one, I thought, "Wait. There is no way that is long enough to reach my G-spot." And then I realized that its length plus the length of the vibe were meant to be used together.

G-spot: This attachment has a pretty hard hook shape to it, like a squished-up "L". The vibrations didn't reach all the way to the end in a way that was strong enough for me, and I wasn't so sure it was hitting my G-spot at all. Of course, a lot of this might have been due to the fact that I was so nervous about the end falling off that I couldn't really relax and get a good feel for it.

At first read, I thought the so-called ball stimulator was for the guy, at first, meaning that it was an attachment that would stimulate his balls. But then I realized it looked like it was made for anal use, and the name wasn't describing the intended body part, but the shape of the attachment. It works well, and the vibrations are strong. Again, I didn't dare put it inside any farther than say the middle of the attachment, because I afraid it would fall off, so I think this part would work for a warm-up anal toy or for rim-play.

The clit attachment worked best for me -- I didn't have to worry about it coming apart, and the little nubbies were nice. The vibes felt stronger here, either because it wasn't inside or because this attachment is flatter. Still, for this to really work for me, I would have liked at least one more speed.

Functions / Performance / Controls

I had two big issues with this toy in terms of performance and function:

The first is with the attachments themselves. They're each very short and they sort of pop onto the main vibrator. But there's no locking mechanism or any way to really secure the attachments onto the vibe, and my first thought was: That is so going to come off inside me. Obviously this isn't an issue with the Klitoris Specialist, as it's designed for external use, but both the G-Spot and the Ball attachment made me incredibly nervous (I did assume -- although I could be wrong, as I mentioned earlier -- that the ball attachment was for anal play, since it's designed that way; however I wouldn't use it in either place for fear of it popping off).

The second issue I had was with the on/off mechanism. It's set at the base of the vibe, and you essentially twist the bottom of the vibe to turn it on and off (there's only one speed setting). It's difficult to move when your hands are dry -- and nearly impossible when your hands are covered in lube or body fluids -- and to make matters worse, if you turn it just a little too far, it opens the battery housing and the end pops off and the battery falls out.

Care and Maintenance

This is the only toy that I own made from TPR, so I had to look up how to care for it. Ha -- turns out TPR is just like that kitchen tool that promised easy cleaning, but didn't deliver. It's apparently more porous than silicone, so you can't boil it or throw it in the dishwasher for disinfecting. Instead, you have to use a condom (or a toy cover) if you're planning on sharing it. If you're the only user, then you can wash it with warm/hot water and soap.

You can use silicone- or water-based lubes with it, but be careful not to use too much (especially if it's an especially runny lube) as it can seep into the space between the vibrator and the attachment. The vibrator has little silver balls at the end of it, and these were kind of hard to clean the lube off of, since the vibe isn't water-proof. In the end, I used a damp washcloth and hoped for the best.

Packaging

The packaging is nothing special, except for the giggles I had over the word choices, from the Klitoral Specialist to the aforementioned Ball Stimulator. It's the kind of package that you throw away without a second glance.
Follow-up commentary
Time and familiarity have not improved my impression of this toy one iota. It was slightly less than mediocre when I got it, it is still slightly less than mediocre. Nothing doing. Sorry, Jill of all Trades, Master of None... you still suck...
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Very nice review! Big smile
  • ......
    Very nice review!
  • Sammi
    What a bummer :-(
    Good review!
  • Heather Shadrick
    Thanks for the review!
  • MuffysPinguLove
    Nice review!
  • Shanna Germain
    Thanks so much everyone! This toy has now joined the ghosts of the kitchen tool, the multi-use jackknife that didn't have an actual knife and the use-anywhere electrical transformer that blew up my hair dryer in Spain.

    Ah, the multi-use graveyard of good intentions!
  • pinkcupcakes
    thanks for the review!
  • reysgirl83
    nice review!
  • GlacVic
    thanks
  • TheSlyFox
    Thanks for the review.
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