I waited a couple of weeks to use this toy after I received it. I knew the perfect occasion and it was going to be magical: the botanical garden at night, while the paper lanterns exhibition was on.

When we first opened the box, we were pleasantly surprised to see that the batteries were included: two sets of 4 AG13, as well as one A27S for the remote. We immediately inserted them in and pressed the buttons on the remote. Nothing.

The truth is, this toy would be an absolute joy if it worked on the first time, every time. But it took about 10 minutes the first AND second time for the egg to start responding to the remote. It did allow us to preview the possibilities: cycles of ascending and descending intensity, intermittent vibrations, pulses and all the aforementioned in the loveliest of successions.

I honestly had to stop myself from coming too quickly when I finally inserted the egg in my pussy, because the functions WERE extremely lovely. However, had I known that after about 15 minutes of my boyfriend playing around with the remote and teasing me, the egg would stop responding again, I would have let myself come immediately.

We're not sure if the batteries included were not charged enough, or if it's a communication problem between the egg and the remote (every couple has their problems) but both sets of batteries combined yielded about 20 minutes of use. Were it not for this, the toy would be perfect: waterproof and plastic, it can easily be cleaned with soap and water; oil, silicone and water-based lubricants are all safe for use; and, did I mention the heavenly function cycles with vibrations strong enough not to require any clitoral stimulation? All this while still being quiet enough to take to a fairly quiet place like the park without fear of being discovered by a tuned-in ear. Now if only the remote weren't so conspicuously pink!

We will keep you posted when I dig out new batteries and find out what exactly is currently wrong with this potential marvel...

Battery insertion is not for the dexterity-challenged: insert two at a time for best results. Battery extirpation however is breezy: an attached ribbon is inserted under the batteries for this purpose.