Body » Penis; Sex » Men; Sex & Society » Men: "Penis Size Doesn’t Matter—or Does It?"

EdenFantasys Store

Penis Size Doesn’t Matter—or Does It?

Anya Garrett
  • Print
  • E-mail
I’ve never whipped out a measuring tape in bed so I can’t give you precise numbers, but I think I can safely say I’ve slept with men with penises ranging from very small to gigantic. Most have been somewhere between those two extremes and the big lesson I’ve come away with is: size is not what makes someone good in bed, not by a long shot.


Jonah Falcon  

I have to debate this. For one, you start off saying you've never been with me but you IMAGINE what it must be like. That's not journalism, that's pure speculation based on preconceived notions.

I know how to use size to my advantage - it's basic physics that being thicker than a wrist will have a different (and possibly) more stimulation. You also might want to factor in the fact that someone like me will have had more sexual experiences, and from that alone, the sex will be better.

The usual platitude, in my and others' experience, that "size doesn't matter" is a lie. It does.

That said, I've never gotten entirely in a woman, so length is not an issue - there's only so deep that you can go. The LENGTH has no inherent advantage save one - long, uniform strokes that stimulate a clitoris in a different, unusual way - and that often can be exciting unto itself (a stimulation style that's rare). Aiming in various angles to get different stimulation is also a good way to make new experiences. As for the male, most of the sensation is in the glans, and again, long strokes have a different affect on it.

However, I must stress the word "different". It isn't "better", it's different. There is a change in sensation, and that alone can be stimulating (providing the man isn't a clod and doesn't try to force anything.)

In addition, oral sex is trickier with women - they tend to teeth scrape. Men with extremely thick penises tend to be very wary of oral sex and tend to be attracted to women who have had experience. (They also tend to be experienced at giving oral sex - they're aware of the fact many women like reciprocation in that area.)

Men with small penises can stimulate women just as much as anyone, according to other friends. Again, they have to know how to use it to their best advantage. Fortunately, the clitoris isn't DEEP within a woman, so you'd have to have a very very serious case of micropenis to not stimulate her.

Insecurity is indeed a problem, but everyone has insecurities - job, wealth, health, family, and so on. The way to combat insecurity is to not attach too much significance to it. In my case, people have attached significance to my size since I was 10, so I've gone through the entire spectrum of it (from ego to pride to being burned out about it to just enjoying it for what it is).

There are women who just enjoy the visual stimulation of a massive penis the same way some men are attracted to huge breasts. There are equally as many men, for instance, who like "pettanko" women (boyish, slim women), too. It's all a personal preference.

But saying "Size doesn't matter" is a lie. It does matter and it does have an effect on sex - the question is "how much does it matter TO YOU" and the answer is "do you know how to use what you have properly, big or small".

J.v. Altharas  

Of course it matters. Everything matters in varying degrees, and in the realm of sexual stimulation different sized cocks are going to have varying effects on any woman. Interestingly women are pretty much exactly as preoccupied with their tits as guys are with their cocks (70% dissatisfied). I go into the issue at length in episode two of Ending The Sexual Dark Age.

Jonah, if you're inclined I'd love to do a serious interview with you regarding the pluses and minuses of having a monster cock. My podcast is brutally honest sex-ed for open-minded adults, and I'm betting the audience would love to hear from you. jvaltharas at gmail dot com

Jonah Falcon  

Sure, why not?

J.v. Altharas  

Excellent, drop me an email to jvaltharas @ gmail dot com (or hit me up on facebook or twitter) and we'll set something up for whenever it's convenient for you. Links to all of them are on the podcast website at


Jonah, are you sure you got your anatomy right?!

"Long, uniform strokes that stimulate a clitoris in a different, unusual way... Fortunately, the clitoris isn't DEEP within a woman"

The G-spot is what you are referring to. The clitoris is the external bead of nerves about 2 inches above the vaginal opening.




a big cock is great for intercourse, but not so great great if you like anal and oral sex.


I have to disagree with your size queen reference and why some women are like that.

I have been with 2 men in my life, the first one was a joke but I didn't know any better at the time, my hubby now of 21 years I would say is average in the dick department, but I am a size queen.

I have asked in a poll if women thought that having kids made a difference, as I have had 2 but my youngest is 19, so i doubt my vag stayed that way all these years, it is just something I crave, the fullness feeling. But on the same token, my hubby satisfies me just as well.

I would have to say if we are talking size matters, I don't think so unless we are talking girth here as well. You can have a 10 inch dick with a 1/2 inch diameter and I can almost guarantee you won't see much action!


Missyoububbles, I agree , I am guite thick and women talk and seek me out, just to feel that "being totally full penis. I would like to really know what the largest penis is, because If you ask any woman they will tell tou girth matters more , so what penis is bigger 13"long by 6 around or 10 long and 8" around, must be a volumn formula. Worlds longest doesn't mean worlds biggest


Interviews with Award Winning Author of Erotica Rachel Kramer Bussel

  • Writing quality erotica can be very tricky. As both an accomplished editor and author what do you seek out from your work that separates it from other erotica being published?

    Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York-based author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, wrote the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, and hosts the monthly In The Flesh Reading Series, where she's booked everyone from Susie Bright to Zane. She has written for Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast,, Gothamist, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, Penthouse, Playgirl, Time Out New York, and other publications. Her writing has been published in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, the Best Women's Erotica Series, Zane's Succulent: Chocolate Flava II and Purple Panties, and others. She wrote her first erotica story, "Monica and Me," about Monica Lewinsky, in 1999 and has been writing smut, first-person essays and journalism about sex and relationships, pop culture, and books ever since. Rachel has a fondness for spanking, rough sex, hotels and general naughtiness...when she can tear herself away from her computer and iPhone. She also has a unbridled passion for cupcakes which she blogs about frequently at her popular group blog Cupcakes Take the Cake.

     Read full interview

What's Hot

Sexis in your inbox

Keep up on new articles, projects, columns and more