Relationships » Heterosexual; Advice » Dating & Relationships, Sex in General: "Our Agreement or How I Learned to Stop Stressing and Enjoy Sex Again"

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Our Agreement or How I Learned to Stop Stressing and Enjoy Sex Again

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My fiancé and I have an agreement about sex. Our agreement is that we will not engage in sex of any kind unless I am the one who initiates it. I know, it sounds a little bit strange, doesn’t it? Maybe even a little bit draconian? I thought so too at first, but this agreement has changed not only our sex life, but our relationship as whole for the better. But maybe I should back up a bit and start from the beginning.


Contributor: Silverdrop

I think it's wonderful that you were able to discuss it rationally and find a solution that works for both of you.

Contributor: Hummingbird

I'm very glad to hear that communication does work. I often wondered...

Contributor: foragr8time

I think it's good to see that you have attempted to make a 'rational' decision about an emotional issue. While I wish you luck, I have serious misgivings about the success of this 'agreement'. Here is my primary reason: men are emotionally stunted and most men use sex as a way to get closer to their partner. When he is feeling the need for emotional closeness, you may not be 'available'. This only gets worse after marriage and kids. Unless he miraculously loses a significant portion of his sex drive, I suspect he will eventually move on. Sorry.

Contributor: Chastity Darling

Great post. My husband and I had an agreement similar to this after I had our daughter and lost all sex drive. We now are back to a very active and healthy sex life and the agreement just kind of became necessary after a time. We needed it at the time and in time you may find that it is no longer an issue for you. Every relationship has its ups and downs.



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