Because fantasies — real sexual fantasies, not the ones you read about in Hustler — are terrifying.
In the world of anonymous fantasy, there are quite literally no taboos. Anything goes — and if my exploration of Internet erotica is anything to go by, anything frequently does.
ASSTR.org and similar websites are protected by Ashcroft, Attorney General vs. the Free Speech Coalition (2001) — which ruled that any written fantasy — from pedophilia to rape — was legal as long as nobody was harmed in the making of it. It’s a ruling anonymous authors have truly taken advantage of.
Sites like ASSTR.org have a unified coding system so fans can quickly find the stories that cater to their kink — and for an example of how twisted fantasy is, here are some popular ones:
• best Bestiality
• ped Pedophilia
• rape Violent rape
• reluc Woman says no, but loves it when she is raped
• snuff Killing, supposed to arouse you
• tort Torture
• viol Violence, not necessarily connected to the sex
Tellingly, the most popular “genre” of online erotica is incest — something that leaves most of us shuddering in disgust, but is apparently a thriving theme online.
But this is nothing new.
Shocking sexual fantasies have been around since long before the invention of the Internet. In 1971, author Nancy Friday published her groundbreaking book My Secret Garden and revealed that sexual fantasies went far beyond what the covers of romance novels perpetuated.
A collection of lurid fantasies — sent in anonymously by women across America — My Secret Garden revealed that women thrived on fantasies of rape, bestiality and incest that would fit right in with stories on ASSTR.org.
In fact sexual fantasies, once you start exploring them, are like Pandora’s Box. You can’t close it once it’s open, and much within flies in the face of so-called “sex positivity.”
For example, there’s not much “sexually positive” about fantasies of rape and degradation — but Nancy Friday revealed that these remain common in many women’s sexual fantasies. Likewise, popular themes in men’s sexual fantasies would win most a spot on the Sex Offender Registry.
But that, perhaps, is the defining characteristic of sexual fantasy — it invariably remains fantasy. If ASSTR.org is anything to go by, there are literally thousands of Americans scribbling sociopathic sexual fantasies online, but none ever act upon them. The line between fantasy and reality remains resolutely rigid.
And for the “sex positive” community, that’s the attitude most take towards other people’s sexual fantasies. As long as any real sex indulged in is consensual and safe, we leave your sexual fantasies to yourself — no matter how extreme they are.
Or do we?
Because I suspect that the sex positive community have become too quick to judge what is and isn’t “appropriate” fantasy material — despite our lip service to “free speech.”
A good example? The recent “hymengate” scandal, in which porn actress Nicki Blue arranged to be “deflowered” by Kink.com.
It didn’t matter that Nicki was a willing and enthusiastic partner. For many bloggers and members of the “sex positive” community, the fantasy itself was “offensive and dangerous.”
Nicki’s performance, some bloggers argued, “perpetuated dangerous myths about virginity.” One idiot even equated Kink.com’s planned webcast to the shooting of Congresswoman Giffords in Arizona (proving you don’t need to be smart to be a sex blogger).
It didn’t matter that Nicki Blue was willingly “sacrificing her innocence” on webcam for a paying audience. It didn’t matter that this stunning porn star — who boasted “I keep my boyfriends happy with blowjobs and anal sex” was very much pushing the boundaries of what could and couldn’t be considered “virginity.”
All that mattered was that a small, but vocal group condemned her planned performance as “dangerous.”
Now, I’ve always thought that the “sex positive” community had an enlightened attitude towards sexual fantasy. As long as a line was drawn between fantasy and reality, “anything goes.”
But apparently, it doesn’t. Some feel that certain sexual fantasies — like ones involving vaginal virginity — are so “subversive” and “dangerous” that they need to be ruthlessly censored.
It’s not necessarily that I disagree with that idea — God knows some of the more extreme stories on ASSTR.org disturbed me — but I found this example wildly inconsistent — even openly hypocritical.
I mean, the blogger who said that Kink.com’s “devirginizing” was parallel to Congresswoman Gifford’s shooting wasn’t just being revoltingly insensitive; he was ignoring a litany of porn performances that made Nicki’s deflowering pale in comparison.
How can he claim that Nicki perpetuated “dangerous myths” while remaining silent about rival porn companies churning out DVDs like I Can’t Believe You Sucked A Negro and [Crack Whore Confessions] — arguably perpetuating far more dangerous racism and sexism?
I mean, I’m all for hyperbole (you should know — you’re reading this) but why did this porn controversy merit myriad outraged blog posts, while arguably more “dangerous” controversies didn’t?
I fear the answer has little to do with “sex positivity.” Critics of Nicki Blue’s “deflowering” were actually doing what a certain group of “sex positive” bloggers always like to do: Get attention.
Whether it’s an offensive porn production (or just a mid-western blogger who’s “gotten too big for her boots”) there’s always a self-righteous minority who aim to bring people down with accusations of “sex negativity.”
But with the example of Nicki Blue, perhaps more than ever before, their transparency becomes obvious. If this was really about the “dangers” posed by sexual fantasy, there were many more disturbing places to start than an ethical porn production company executing an edgy idea.
This minority only focused on what was politically convenient to attack — more to draw attention than do anything constructive against the alleged “dangers” of sexual fantasy.
And while I don’t argue that such a danger exists; I do fear that those who claim to attack it are generally doing the exact opposite.
In the world of anonymous fantasy, there are quite literally no taboos. Anything goes — and if my exploration of Internet erotica is anything to go by, anything frequently does.
ASSTR.org and similar websites are protected by Ashcroft, Attorney General vs. the Free Speech Coalition (2001) — which ruled that any written fantasy — from pedophilia to rape — was legal as long as nobody was harmed in the making of it. It’s a ruling anonymous authors have truly taken advantage of.
Sites like ASSTR.org have a unified coding system so fans can quickly find the stories that cater to their kink — and for an example of how twisted fantasy is, here are some popular ones:
• best Bestiality
• ped Pedophilia
• rape Violent rape
• reluc Woman says no, but loves it when she is raped
• snuff Killing, supposed to arouse you
• tort Torture
• viol Violence, not necessarily connected to the sex
Tellingly, the most popular “genre” of online erotica is incest — something that leaves most of us shuddering in disgust, but is apparently a thriving theme online.
But this is nothing new.
Shocking sexual fantasies have been around since long before the invention of the Internet. In 1971, author Nancy Friday published her groundbreaking book My Secret Garden and revealed that sexual fantasies went far beyond what the covers of romance novels perpetuated.
A collection of lurid fantasies — sent in anonymously by women across America — My Secret Garden revealed that women thrived on fantasies of rape, bestiality and incest that would fit right in with stories on ASSTR.org.
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In fact sexual fantasies, once you start exploring them, are like Pandora’s Box. You can’t close it once it’s open, and much within flies in the face of so-called “sex positivity.”
For example, there’s not much “sexually positive” about fantasies of rape and degradation — but Nancy Friday revealed that these remain common in many women’s sexual fantasies. Likewise, popular themes in men’s sexual fantasies would win most a spot on the Sex Offender Registry.
But that, perhaps, is the defining characteristic of sexual fantasy — it invariably remains fantasy. If ASSTR.org is anything to go by, there are literally thousands of Americans scribbling sociopathic sexual fantasies online, but none ever act upon them. The line between fantasy and reality remains resolutely rigid.
And for the “sex positive” community, that’s the attitude most take towards other people’s sexual fantasies. As long as any real sex indulged in is consensual and safe, we leave your sexual fantasies to yourself — no matter how extreme they are.
Or do we?
Because I suspect that the sex positive community have become too quick to judge what is and isn’t “appropriate” fantasy material — despite our lip service to “free speech.”
A good example? The recent “hymengate” scandal, in which porn actress Nicki Blue arranged to be “deflowered” by Kink.com.
It didn’t matter that Nicki was a willing and enthusiastic partner. For many bloggers and members of the “sex positive” community, the fantasy itself was “offensive and dangerous.”
Nicki’s performance, some bloggers argued, “perpetuated dangerous myths about virginity.” One idiot even equated Kink.com’s planned webcast to the shooting of Congresswoman Giffords in Arizona (proving you don’t need to be smart to be a sex blogger).
It didn’t matter that Nicki Blue was willingly “sacrificing her innocence” on webcam for a paying audience. It didn’t matter that this stunning porn star — who boasted “I keep my boyfriends happy with blowjobs and anal sex” was very much pushing the boundaries of what could and couldn’t be considered “virginity.”
All that mattered was that a small, but vocal group condemned her planned performance as “dangerous.”
Now, I’ve always thought that the “sex positive” community had an enlightened attitude towards sexual fantasy. As long as a line was drawn between fantasy and reality, “anything goes.”
But apparently, it doesn’t. Some feel that certain sexual fantasies — like ones involving vaginal virginity — are so “subversive” and “dangerous” that they need to be ruthlessly censored.
It’s not necessarily that I disagree with that idea — God knows some of the more extreme stories on ASSTR.org disturbed me — but I found this example wildly inconsistent — even openly hypocritical.
I mean, the blogger who said that Kink.com’s “devirginizing” was parallel to Congresswoman Gifford’s shooting wasn’t just being revoltingly insensitive; he was ignoring a litany of porn performances that made Nicki’s deflowering pale in comparison.
How can he claim that Nicki perpetuated “dangerous myths” while remaining silent about rival porn companies churning out DVDs like I Can’t Believe You Sucked A Negro and [Crack Whore Confessions] — arguably perpetuating far more dangerous racism and sexism?
I mean, I’m all for hyperbole (you should know — you’re reading this) but why did this porn controversy merit myriad outraged blog posts, while arguably more “dangerous” controversies didn’t?
I fear the answer has little to do with “sex positivity.” Critics of Nicki Blue’s “deflowering” were actually doing what a certain group of “sex positive” bloggers always like to do: Get attention.
Whether it’s an offensive porn production (or just a mid-western blogger who’s “gotten too big for her boots”) there’s always a self-righteous minority who aim to bring people down with accusations of “sex negativity.”
But with the example of Nicki Blue, perhaps more than ever before, their transparency becomes obvious. If this was really about the “dangers” posed by sexual fantasy, there were many more disturbing places to start than an ethical porn production company executing an edgy idea.
This minority only focused on what was politically convenient to attack — more to draw attention than do anything constructive against the alleged “dangers” of sexual fantasy.
And while I don’t argue that such a danger exists; I do fear that those who claim to attack it are generally doing the exact opposite.
While I agree that some fantasy erotica I have read has disturbed me (somethings I just DO NOT get), I would say that all my fantasies are very empowering to me as a sexual woman. Rape and subjugation fantasy is very common within the female population (whether or not they will admit it) but I am calling 100% of the shots - very powerful. Now it is possible that a hard-core rape fantasy written by a man would cause me reflection, but fantasy is a great outlet for things that we would NEVER do in real life. I fantasize about blowing up the car that just cut me off, but I would never actually do it. It is a great outlet for releasing 'bad' thoughts that have no business materializing into the real world. Rapists, arsonists, murders are going to rape, light fires and murder regardless if they have fantasized about it or not.
People who are quick to judge and criticize other people seem to be projecting and acting on fear/jealousy.
I visit literotica from time to time for the incest stories. Incest and bestiality themes turn me on, even though I have zero attraction for real family members and don't like dogs in real life.
But what if I did? Some people really are attracted to their sibling or dog. Is that bad if they just think about it but not act on it? What if they DO act on it?
PS: I also get off on rape fantasies despite being a rape survivor. I own my past, I don't define myself by my wounds, I heal them and move on.
First, any time somebody says a sexual fantasy is not a good one to have, point your finger at them, and say, "don't yuck my yum!". Hell, even if you do not particularly enjoy it, do it to remind them, with the, "it is not actually my yum... but it will be somebody's. I do not enjoy you telling people what they are not allowed to enjoy."
I agree with you here... and on the notion of Incest... have you ever heard a man say, "who is your daddy" to a cute girl? Hell, how common are girls with daddy issues, anyways? If you know any First Nations people in North America, they tend to use the word "Cousin" as a term of endearment, rather than literally "I am related to this person". Which is unnerving to see two cousins making out... even if they are not related (and one is not even First Nations status). Look around for how Incest is acceptable... look at how boys fantasise about their best friend's older sister. Girls over their best friend's brother. As far as all things are considered, that kid may as well be that person's younger sibling.
Role play is entirely possible. Ask your partner to call you "brother, sister, mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, auntie, uncle, cousin"... and it pretty much handles it fine. One the pedophilia--that works on two role plays, adult babies and age play. In Canada, it is illegal, to present oneself as younger than the legal age of sexual consent (which is 16a). I think that is retarded. If it is possible, for a priest to think I am a ten year old child... and the result is that a ten year old child does not have to have an awkward choir experience he'll not be able to forget... why the fvck is it illegal for me--somebody of the legal age to say "touch me where it smells funny" to dress like I am not old enough for that, and then proceed to stuff that has me pointing to a doll where the "man touched me like the naughty little strumpet I am".
Hell, Rape Play is even bloody well possible. Guess where people can easily get ideas for that? Oh, right... ASSTR.
I mean--Eris Dammit... I for one enjoy dirty talk that has somebody telling me how much I need it, what my dress does and does not say about me, the general entrepreneurial start ups I have in red lit corner offices, where my lips would look best on various anatomical parts and how the notion of a hole that does not usually suck on things (such as anything not lips), is acting like a common task in the dairy industry for some dubious need I need for the fluids it contains which do not appear to be of nutritional concern or importance.
In fact, that above paragraph made me have tingles--and I was trying to make it as least filthy as possible.
Thank your Roland for your view. And lets get people to stop Yucking Other's Yums. A decent amount of people think two men consenting to sticking it in each other's pooper in the privacy of their own homes is icky... it doesn't harm any body. Neither does this stuff. In fact, it can even be done IRL, in a way that still doesn't harm people. It is still icky... but so is what was done with that cucumber before it was put into the salad. Hell, think about having Jesus watching me have sex, ensuring I am doing it in the proper godly way for the purpose of procreation seems quite icky to me... but some people use that to get them off.
Thank you.