Society » Culture, Sexuality: "The Ups and Downs of Camming"

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The Ups and Downs of Camming

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Being in the camming game isn't always the easiest. While I have great fans and good times, I have also have experiences that are less than desirable. In the honor of cliches, lets look at the good, bad and ugly.

  The Bad...

There are bad days. A job is a job, right? Some days at work just suck. The bad days for a cam girl usually consist of slow tipping days when it seems nobody is tipping, and if they are, it's small amounts that almost feel insignificant. You've got to keep in mind that on the site I work on, a single token is worth five cents. Some guys think they're doing us a huge favor by tipping us five tokens and then demanding that we bend to their every desire. Do the math. Five tokens comes out to [italics|twenty-five cents] for us. And for some reason some guys think that their five tokens just bought us a car, and demand things that are worth a whole hell of a lot more than twenty-five cents. A standard tip on this site is twenty-five tokens, so a dollar twenty-five for us. Usually those are pretty reasonable.

Sometimes the people who come into your room just suck. They go in just to troll you. They say things like “Don't I go to school with you?”, “Do your parents know you're a whore?” and/or “Girls like you are what's wrong with you.” I had a girl message me once, railing me out, saying that me being on the internet doing what I do was the reason girls get reputations as whores. So, as kindly as I could, I told her that if she has a reputation as a whore, it's not my fault because I'm a cam girl. Maybe it's time for her to close her legs. But people do this [italics|all the time.] They want to try to make you miserable, and they try to shame you, try to get you down on yourself.

This is where I speak out for the cam girl population in general. The vast majority of us aren't attention hungry, insatiable whores. We are regular people. We want the same things in life as you do. Some girls do it in secret. Some girls have told their family and/or friends. We all have our own reasons to be what and who we are. Sometimes girls do this job out of desperation, and sometimes they do it because it's the best option. Anyone who says the sex industry isn't booming has been living under a rock. For a lot of girls like me, camming is our nine to five job. A lot of us don't want to go into porn. Some do. Regardless of this, we are all working towards the same things: paying rent, providing for ourselves, and providing for families. Two of the three main girls I watch and communicate with are single mothers with a young child. But they are working their tails off to provide for their child. Personally, I see nothing shameful in that.

  ...And The Ugly.

Being a cam girl, you learn to separate your regular life from your cam life. You start upping security on every account you have, double and triple checking that there isn't any personal information available, and keeping an eye on your followers for signs of possibly the most dangerous thing about our jobs: stalkers. Worrying about people you know finding out about what you do is one thing. Sure, that can be stressful. But someone breaching your privacy and harassing you? That's a nightmare on it's own. It's a danger that comes with the job, so precautions need to be taken.

My own experience with this was brief, thankfully. This girl referred me to a guy to help me gain more followers, and earn more tokens. At first all seemed well, although a tiny red flag was going up in the back of my mind. Reluctantly, I allowed her to give him my Skype. Next thing I know, the two of them are ordering me around, and scaring off people who were regular tippers, because “their tippers are better.” I made less in tokens with them than I ever did on my own. But that wasn't even the worst of it.

Within days of the orders coming around, suddenly I had a “manager,” who was blocked from the site I was working on, for reasons unknown to me. He began messaging me, telling me to accept a small token payment of 100 tokens in order to give my Skype to random guys he knew, so they could pay me on PayPal for Skype sessions. On the site, to buy my Skype, it is 450 tokens. But I was now being told to not bother. He was basically trying to pimp me out to people.

Eventually, he was on my Skype, my Twitter, and my room messaging me and telling me what to do, and treating me like a helpless child. At one point, he caught wind of my name, because of a site glitch. He then took that information, and decided to search it on Facebook. He told me it was just to see if I would come up, if I was able to be found. I would have been [italics|fine] if he had just left it at that. He then began stalking my page, digging through my posts, pictures and friend posts. He invaded my privacy even more by questioning about my family, and trying to act like he hadn't crossed a line.

To some people, this may seem normal, not something that's a big deal. But here's the thing. We cam girls work [italics|hard] to keep our personal lives separate from the cam world. When we begin working with someone, especially if we don't give them our personal info, it is supposed to be understood that my life is [italics|none of your damn business.] There is one person that I've met online that I have willingly told my real name and location to. Honestly, if they happen to figure out my first name, I don't care that much. But that's it. This guy crossed into forbidden territory by actively seeking info about my non-cam life, and delving into my privacy. I know nothing about this guy beyond his first name and his inability to write in proper sentences. And yet he had the nerve to talk to me about my father and other personal topics.

Since the incident, security on absolutely [italics|everything] has been bolstered. I double and triple check all info on my pages on the off chance there's another glitch and my information is available. The tiniest amount of trust is questioned. It's unfortunate, but this is the underbelly of the job.

  Why Keep Going?

There are horror stories out there about girls being royally screwed. But why do I keep going? People don't always suck. There are people I've met through camming that I feel so grateful for meeting. And you know what? [italics|The job is a lot of fun.] I can be goofy and foolish. I can indulge in my own curiosities and fetishes. I can learn about other people, and sometimes I'm lucky enough to hear their stories. Sometimes I have experiences like the guy who was looking for a girl who could blow him away. Those experiences feel pretty good.

This job isn't simply a paycheck and a self-esteem boost to me. I'm not an attention whore. I actually love and enjoy my job. It's a liberating experience, knowing that while you enjoy yourself and have fun, hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people are adoring you and maybe even getting off to you too. Call me an exhibitionist if you'd like. I fit well in the category. It's a thrill, and it's good ol' fashioned fun. It doesn't hurt that it helps pay the rent.


Contributor: cnweisman

Hi Sixxy Lane,

I really enjoyed your piece. I'm a journalist covering sexuality/sex culture and I'd love to talk with you further about this topic. We're looking to do a piece on 'camming' and are currently seeking out insider opinions. Send me a message if you think you'd be interested : )



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