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Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree... Oh! Christmas Tree!

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Winter Solstice, meet your kink. A dendrophiliac is a person who is attracted to trees, who has romantic, sensual, sexual encounters with the forest. So, in this (most wonderful) time of year, when the evergreen tree becomes a decorated centerpiece of the Holiday Season, why not draw our attention to those who have a very personal relationship to trees?

  1. Psychedelia and Tree Orgasms

Ellen Degenerate’s story as told to Rachel Rabbit White

The first time I ever had an orgasm directly caused by a tree, I had eaten psychedelic mushrooms. Many people use psychedelic drugs just to have fun at a party. But if you use them with certain intentions in nature, you may find they make you extremely sensitive to the fine details and energies of your natural environment. If you’ve ever done psychedelics you know how impossible it is to describe your feelings while on them, but I’ll do my best.

I was standing in the orchard and suddenly my body became extremely aroused and my heart swelled as though I had just realized I was in love. I could feel the erotic energy coming from the tree. I began to caress the tree with my hands and it sent thrills through my body just as though I were touching the skin of a human lover.

I felt intuitively that the tree wanted me to climb her. I climbed into a crook in the tree where I could feel the branches wrapped around me like arms. I looked around to make sure no one was watching. It felt mischievous, like we were kids trying not to get caught. I felt the tree feeling these things also. The tree was seducing me. The tree had emotions, reactions, and energies. At times it was mischievous and flirty, at other times deeply seductive, at other times comforting like a mother.

Eventually I adjusted myself so that my pelvis was in the notch of two branches. I tucked my skirts between my legs so that I would not scratch myself on the bark and began rubbing myself against the tree. I had one of the most powerful orgasms I’ve ever had in my life.

I think it is really important to have a sense of humor about your sexuality. If you can’t laugh while having sex, you are probably concentrating too hard and taking yourself too seriously. Dendrophilia can be funny but for me it is also a spiritual experience.

Many people experience sex and orgasms as sacred experiences. It is about sharing and exchanging energy. This energy is why you can get turned on at your lover looking at you from across the room — they are directing their energy towards you. I feel the sacred energy in trees too.

Trees are powerful because without them, we would all be dead. They turn the waste of our breath into clean air that we can breath again. They are constantly renewing the dead into the living, representing the entire cycle of life. And the Christmas Tree is an evergreen. It shows us that even in winter, when everything seems dead and barren, things are actually just laying in wait, able to spring forth with life when it gets warm again.

But seeing a Christmas Tree in someone’s house is like seeing a skyscraper in the middle of the wilderness. There is no reason why people can’t decorate a living tree.

  2. Dildos in Trees

Dragoness’ story

I kind of have a thing for globe willows and birch trees; they always seem so happy. Like people, it depends on trees personalities — whether or not I “click” with them.

With trees, I can feel their life energy. That may sound ridiculous. But trees and plants are masters of taking negative and turning it into positive. They take carbon dioxide and turn it into oxygen; they take fecal matter and turn it into food for themselves.

Maybe that is why it feels so good to hug a tree or meditate in wooded areas is because trees can take whatever negativity one might be feeling and somehow make it better. I am very emotionally connected to my sexuality; I think this is an extension of that.

So, I have always loved trees. As a kid I used to have conversations with them. I’m sure I looked certifiable to most people. Christmas trees have always been magical to me, though not sexual, probably because most of them are fake or dead.

The most I have done with trees, sexually, is masturbate in front of them, though I imagine there are other ways to enjoy this type of encounter. As a woman, perhaps you could rig a dildo or vibrator to a tree safely.

I think all this is shocking because the social norm is to see plants and trees as inanimate objects. This is about emotions and feelings.

  3. The Whole is Greater Than the Sum of Its Parts: Gestaltism and Tantric Trees

Robert Podgurski’s story as told to Rachel Rabbit White

I spend quite a bit of time outdoors, hiking, climbing, breathing. So this isn’t just about erotic element of trees, this is about all of the natural space.

I’ve had a female partner lean up against and hug a tree while I was fucking her. It was incredibly powerful. I felt like there was a grounding force involved with the act. It was like double penetration, while I was penetrating her it felt like the sheer stable force of the tree was penetrating my soul — and hers simultaneously.

When I consider how everything interacts with trees I find myself confronted with an orgy — they are taking the CO2 I’m respiring and converting it into oxygen for me to breathe, they are drawing minerals from the ground for photosynthesis. It is an orgy of roots, branches, leaves and lungs exchanging essences, all fornicating with one another. It forms a portion of the great tantric tapestry I see all around me.

Just about every culture has its own take on the tree of life. Trees are stable, they clean the air. They provide fruit, building materials, the paper we write on. They have become an all-pervading symbol of life itself.

But so much of a tree lies hidden in the earth, the roots of most trees go as commensurately deep as the branches grow upward. And whatever winds up in the ground — dead bodies, sexual fluids, etc., all end up feeding trees.

I can’t help but think trees communicate with one another through their roots — they are always touching each other. Trees are ubiquitous and their silent presence permeates just about everything in life. The more time I spend outside the more I sense the great orgasmic weave of bliss that expands and issues out.

And as for Christmas, I like my trees alive as I like my lovers. I’m not a necrodendrophiliac — hey we’ve got a new sub-classification going now! Dead Christmas tree fuckers get lost!


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Contributor: iLashe

awesome article. blessseeddbe

Contributor: DreamWolf

Wow! The first time I have found (accidentally though) an article about the topic always interesting me sooooooooo much...!
What an encouragement to see others are out there too!

Contributor: fredacarl

nice review

Contributor: fredacarl


Contributor: Pudyqat

Very interesting!!!