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Tuesdays With Nina: Emotional Infidelity, Take 2—Having Feelings and Deciding What Do With Them

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If you are in a relationship with someone and fall in love with someone else, is that a betrayal? If you don't share these feelings with your significant other, is that a transgression?


Jay Rossi  

Emotional infidelity: I believe our feelings are our achilles heal. They can destroy us if we remove our intelligent decision making ability. They (feelings) can also cause great joy. To have emotional 'connections' with other people is an inevitable thing...even when we are in a committed relationship. But what action(s) (if any) will it lead to? Here's what MUST be considered when in a committed relationship:
1. Emotional feelings are usually stronger than sexual feelings. They last longer and are often repeated and become habit when you spend a lot of time with this other person. If unmonitored, this can lead to physical actions.
2. The depth of love and commitment of your regular relationship MUST be considered:
a) Are you sure she/he is the one? If so you'll know: You won't be able to imagine life without them.
b) Is this worth the risk?
1. It will hurt the other person and possibly alter your relationship,
2. If it leads to something physical (or not), you risk losing the regular one. Is that worth it?
3. Everyone's circumstances are different; have you fully considered yous?

In conclusion, we MUST be responsible with our unpredictable, unstable feelings because they are a weakness. You want to just 'roll' with these feelings, but don't...NOT without your mind maturely monitoring the situation.


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Interviews with Nina Hartley

  • Nina Hartley, adult film actress, adult film director, sex educator, feminist, and author, celebrates her one year anniversary as SexIs' resident sex advice expert. In an industry where few performers last more than a couple years, what's her secret for nearly 3 decades of success?

    Adult Industry Icon Nina Hartley defies the critics of pornography who declare women to be exploited by it, having no choice but to be willing victims. She was well on her way to a career in nursing when she chose a different path, starring in her first adult film in 1984. Her debut performance was in the film Educating Nina, which was produced and directed by the veteran porn star Juliet Anderson (better known as "Aunt Peg"). The film turned out to be the first step in a journey to adult film superstardom. Nearly 30 years later, she has gone on to feature in over 400 first-run adult films, and has become one of the most enduring and recognizable performers in the industry. Nina has been a driving force in the adult industry for nearly three decades as an adult film actress, director, sex educator, feminist and author. She has been a tireless, outspoken advocate for sexual freedom and considers herself a sex-positive feminist who seeks to "educate others from a place of practice and not just theory." Nina has been a visible industry spokesperson who seeks to change negative perceptions of adult entertainment and sex itself. In 1993, she and ten other adult film stars were arrested in Las Vegas for "having a lesbian performance in the front of an audience." She actively supports the Woodhull Foundations whose goal is to promotes sexual freedom as a fundamental human right. She challenges the radical feminist view that the porn industry, by definition, victimizes women—instead, she points out that in her lengthy career, she's seen few examples of coercion of performers on set, and none of a physical nature. "Women have the right of refusal, always, and exercise it." How has the industry changed, since Nina has been began her career? Would she recommend her path to women today? What is the most important lesson she's learned along the way? Join us in welcoming Nina Hartley to the Community Interview in celebration of the 1 year anniversary of Tuesdays With Nina!

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