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Tuesdays With Nina: Emotional Infidelity, Take 2—Having Feelings and Deciding What Do With Them

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If you are in a relationship with someone and fall in love with someone else, is that a betrayal? If you don't share these feelings with your significant other, is that a transgression?

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Contributor: Jay Rossi
Jay Rossi  

Emotional infidelity: I believe our feelings are our achilles heal. They can destroy us if we remove our intelligent decision making ability. They (feelings) can also cause great joy. To have emotional 'connections' with other people is an inevitable thing...even when we are in a committed relationship. But what action(s) (if any) will it lead to? Here's what MUST be considered when in a committed relationship:
1. Emotional feelings are usually stronger than sexual feelings. They last longer and are often repeated and become habit when you spend a lot of time with this other person. If unmonitored, this can lead to physical actions.
2. The depth of love and commitment of your regular relationship MUST be considered:
a) Are you sure she/he is the one? If so you'll know: You won't be able to imagine life without them.
b) Is this worth the risk?
1. It will hurt the other person and possibly alter your relationship,
2. If it leads to something physical (or not), you risk losing the regular one. Is that worth it?
3. Everyone's circumstances are different; have you fully considered yous?

In conclusion, we MUST be responsible with our unpredictable, unstable feelings because they are a weakness. You want to just 'roll' with these feelings, but don't...NOT without your mind maturely monitoring the situation.

03/25/2011

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