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The Bloggess: Is your man gay?

The Bloggess: Is your man gay?
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A Very Special Quiz

  The "Is He Gay?" Quiz

1. Does your man occasionally wear pink? Add 0 points.

2. Does your man ONLY wear pink? Add 1 point.

3. Does your man get a manicure? Add 0 points.

4. Is the nail polish bright red? Add 2 points.

5. To get fully aroused does he ask you to dress up as a:
a. French maid – 0 points.
b. Sexy soccer player – 0 points
c. Lumberjack – 2 points.
d. Anything with a beard – 10 points

6. Does your man cry when he watches:
a. Field of Dreams – 0 points
b. Beaches: 1 point
c. Beaches (and he also sings all the songs really loudly while it’s on): 3 points.
d. His collection of gay porn films: 20 points.

7. Does your man constantly harass you to:
a. Do it doggie-style - 0 points
b. Try anal - 0 points
c. Change your name to “Big Steve” – 10 points

8. What would your man be most excited about:
a. A three-some with your friend Sheri – 0 points
b. A three-some with your friend Harold – 2 points
c. A three-some with the two guys that clean your pool while you’re out of town – 20 points

9. Are you a man?
a. Oh yeah. I’m a big, hairy, sexy man. – 100 points
b. No. But my boyfriend likes me to dress as a one. – 10 points
c. No, I’m all woman. Except for my penis. – 5 points.
d. I’m a chick. – 0 points


10. What’s the gayest thing your man has ever done?
a. One time he wore a sweater vest – 0 points
b. He paired the sweat-vest with ass-less chaps – 10 points
c. He cheated on me even though I’m super hot – 0 points
d. He cheated on me with my brother – 50 points


Okay, now add up your points:

Over 100 points: Not only is this man gay, but he's also totally out about it. I think you might be a bit of a stalker. Leave that man and his gay boyfriend alone.

50 – 100 points: He’s probably gay. Sorry. But better to find out now than after 20 years of marriage, right? Unless you’ve been married for 20 years in which case I’m really, really sorry.

20-50 points: Maybe he’s just bi. Bi boyfriends are totally fine. Get over yourself.

5-20 points: Here there be dragons. Or not. Hard to tell.

1-4 points: He’s not gay. He’s just comfortable with his feminine side.

0 points: He’s totally gay. Honestly, if he scored a zero he’s trying way too hard and eventually will explode with repressed sexual energy. If you love him, set him free. And introduce him to your brother.


Coming up next week, I answer the same question but from a male perspective: “Is my girl a bisexual, and if she isn’t how can I make her one?“

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Comments

This is pretty much the best Quiz I have ever seen, TOTALLY accurate!

02/11/2012

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Discussion Last Post Category
Is your man gay? [4] Aug.27, 2009
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Interviews with The Bloggess

  • Most people know Jenny as The Bloggess, a prolific writer with a sense of humor and style that many are scrambling to imitate. How does a woman who hides in the bathroom at most blogger conferences and muses on clown porn get to be an online sensation?

    Jenny is a columnist, blogger, mom and comedian. Her personal blog, [http://thebloggess.com/|thebloggess.com], is extremely popular and has developed a cult following, according to Marie Claire Magazine. She’s been a regular contributor to the online Houston Chronicle since 2006 and also writes a popular advice column for PNN and a satirical sex column for [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/columns/the-bloggess/|SexIs Magazine]. Jenny has been the keynote speaker at major conferences, as well as featured on countless sites including Salon.com and MSNBC; and Gawker once referred to her as an "interesting psycho". She prefers the term "creative visionary". Jenny suggests you ask her about how she gets her hair so shiny, or what’s wrong with her. But we know that’s a wig, and there’s nothing wrong with Jenny – she created a pitch perfect style that grabs readers, and keeps them. Whether inadvertently mobilizing the Bloggess Army, going to [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/bloggess-does-japan4-110691/|Japan] on a sex culture / geisha mission of sorts, interviewing [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/bloggess-nina-hartley-best-friend-0204101/|porn stars], giving sex advice, or relating the hilarious arguments she has with [http://thebloggess.com/?p=5168|her husband], The Bloggess has us hooked. Join us in learning more about this unpredictable funny lady.

     Read full interview

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