All The Crap That Can Go Wrong With Our Cooches

Most women have had to deal with a yeast and/or bladder infection (commonly known in the US as a UTI) at least once by the time they are in their twenties. I don't remember which I got first but they are as normal and natural as the common cold.

Yeast infections are caused by candida albicans, bacteria naturally present on our skin and in our bodies. When our PH levels are off we react most commonly in the mouth on the skin or in the vagina- anywhere where it's nice and moist and warm. Our vulvas can get red, itchy, sting when peeing and our vaginas can secrete a thick white or yellowish discharge sometimes ( and I always hated this description) resembling cottage cheese ( more like ricotta I say). It IS possible that it can spread to the mouth of someone performing oral sex on you.

There are a number of causes of yeast infections. Diet ( the candida diet, as the remedy is called, is a daunting task indeed), tight clothing, glycerin and other ingredients in personal products and soap, injury, sexual contact and the one that almost guarantees a yeast infection for me- antibiotics. Fortunately they are easy to treat. Yogurt, both eaten and applied topically balances our PH and provides relief from itching, while topical creams and ovules for insertion into the vagina are sold commercially either over the counter or by prescription. There are now the same options for an oral 1 to 3 day pill.

Preventative measures are also possible. Sea kelp and carageenan promote natural healthy microflora. Eden sells a wonderful lube called Intimate Organics Defense which really does help keep your PH level even and your body yeast infection free. Finding which works for you and your lifestyle is the key.

Bladder infections are just as common though not contagious. For me they are extremely painful. The doctor will ask if you have to urinate frequently and my answer is always "well it feels like I need to but it hurts so darn much and so little comes out that I force myself not to.” It really feels like my urethra is being pinched hard. To help I drink as much unsweetened pure cranberry juice as possible. It hurts my stomach but it works really well. There are a few antibiotics as well. Some work for me while others do not. I always get a yeast infection from them, though. You can also take cranberry extract in gel cap or chewable form every day. They are packed full of vitamin C, too, so you’re killing two birds with one stone. I asked many doctors what was causing these infections. I even suggested a few things like "I masturbate a lot and my g-spot is right against my urethra, do you think I'm giving myself UTIs by doing it too much?" They just looked uncomfortable when I asked that. Finally one woman doctor told me the answer I was looking for… wash your ass before you get it on! Apparently microscopic bacteria can move from your anus to your vagina causing infection. This was one of those moments where I felt really stupid for not realizing that before. I used to get them as often as every month. I've only had one in 6 months now that I'm extra clean and chew my cranberry pills. After taking antibiotics it’s a good idea to replete your system with probiotics, or more specifically acidophilus, to replace the healthy bacteria. This also helps prevent the above mentioned yeast infections.