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Menstrual Sex: It's Not Just For Vampires

Menstrual Sex: It's Not Just For Vampires
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Many people are terrified of having sex when they or their partner are menstruating, but it's really not that big a deal! There are plenty of ways to have mess-free sex while one partner is bleeding, even if you get squicky around blood. As long as you have the right equipment and attitude, it shouldn't be a problem.

  Stick a Cup Up There

Menstrual cups are increasingly being seen as the "way of the future" for period products. They're reusable, sustainable, far more body-safe than tampons, and far less wasteful than pads. Menstrual cups sit inside the vaginal canal and catch blood, rather than absorbing it, so they let the vagina hang onto its natural moisture.

Cups are made of silicone, just like many of our favorite sex toys, so they can be washed and sanitized just like any silicone dildo. There should be no concern about bacteria gathering from menstrual blood, as long as the cup is washed with soap and water in between uses (when possible) and boiled once a month.

The reusable type of cup, produced by companies like DivaCup, Meluna, and Yuuki, is worn low in the vagina, so it doesn't allow for penetration. These cups are perfect for women to wear while having anal sex, receiving oral sex, or participating in any other sexual activity that doesn't involve vaginal penetration.

Softcups, on the other hand, are disposable cups that sit high up in the vagina, close to the cervix, like a diaphragm. These were designed with penetration in mind. With a bit of practice, it's easy to learn how to put in a Softcup so all the blood gets caught right where it comes out of the cervix, before it can make a mess in the vagina.

  Spongy Goodness

Another alternative menstrual product is these sea sponges by Jade and Pearl. (Other, smaller companies produce them too, but Jade and Pearl are the most well-known sea sponge manufacturers for menstrual use.)

Like Softcups, sea sponges are worn high up in the vagina, just below the cervix. They absorb the blood, like a tampon. When they get full, they can be removed, washed out, and placed back in. Some women with heavier flows find that sponges don't absorb as much blood as they'd like, but for sex during one's period, sponges are a fantastic option.

Sea sponges have a very similar texture to the walls of the vagina - soft, squishy, and textured - so they can easily go undetected by a partner's fingers or penis. This makes them a great choice if you have to keep your period a secret for some reason.

Like any object that goes far up into the vagina, it may be difficult to remove sea sponges, especially when you've just had sex and are aroused (the cervix moves up and back during arousal, taking the sponge or cup with it). It's no problem: just wait a few minutes, lube up your fingers, insert them, relax, bear down with your muscles if necessary, and gently pull on the sponge until it slides out.

  Perfect Time for a Towel

It's this author's opinion that every sexually active person should have a large, dark-colored towel, intended specifically for sex. Sex is a messy activity and we all need a little extra protection from time to time!

If you or your partner have a heavy flow and/or prefer not to use cups or sponges, a towel of this description is a must-have. Fold it up a couple of times and place it under the pelvis of the partner who's on her period, and then have at it. Towels are easy to wash so there should be no concern about mess.

If you have the funds, it might be a good idea to upgrade to a red or black Liberator Throe (or comparable product), a sex blanket designed to absorb fluids. This, too, is easy to wash, so there are no excuses for not throwing caution to the wind!

  Just Get Over It Already

Blood can be troubling if you're not used to it, especially if you've never experienced it in sexual situations before. But there's really nothing to be afraid of. You have many options for hiding blood away during sex, if that's your thing - and if you'd rather not encounter it at all, it's easy enough to pop in a tampon and avoid vaginal penetration for a week.

No one HAS to have menstrual sex in their repertoire, but it's a good thing to know how to do. Having to abstain from sex for a week every month is no fun at all, so if you don't have to, why do it?

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I didn't know any of those products existed, other than the towel of course. I'm kind of curious to see how well they work during your period.

Do emu  

I love the diva cup! Menstrual sex is not even an issue for us.


Already have dark towels on hand for this. Some of the best sex of the month takes place during this time, since pregnancy issues are so exceedingly low and natural lubrication is at a high. Thanks for sharing some of the other products; don't see them getting play in our house, but you never know, and knowledge is power


I don't mind splashing around in blood puddles. It is kind of hot for me and my gal. Seems like a less needed time for a condom too. Although people say you can still get pregnant, I think it is much less likely.

Serena Shirley  

The Red Hot Chili Peppers said it best "To finger paint is not a sin." My ex-girlfriend and I never had issues with getting our hands dirty. They make soap and water for a reason. Periods are also a good excuse for shower sex if you're worried about the mess. I recommend a sex blanket as opposed to towel, though. I once had to pay an extra cleaning fee because my gf bled through the towel while we were playing, and the sheets looked like a crime scene. Most of the guys I've dated tend to be squicky about periods, though.


I agree, I have no issue earning my red wings. having sex on a woman's period has a lot of benefits as well. It reduces the pain of cramps, and can shorten the time of a period. Honestly if your guy is too grossed out by your period, he kinda sucks anyways.


wow never thought of having a dark towel around! def gonna invest in one!


I have no problem with sex during my period, but it does gross my hubby out a bit so we avoid it.

Aine D.  

My husband and I have sex during my cycle all the time. I find that I tend to be more horny right before, and during my cycle than any other time of the month. We use towels, or have shower sex, so it is not an issue. Not only that, but it does shorten my cycle, which is a big bonus! I just received my Jade & pear sea sponge tampons. I'm gonna try them next cycle. I am curious to see if it actually works with curbing the mess of my cycle when we have sex.


Fantastic article. This is not an issue with me and my man nor was it an issue with my ex girlfriends. I find a dark towel very useful. I also agree with Aine D. in that this is a great time for shower sex.
Great article. Thanks for sharing.


Actually, I just wrote a review of the DivaCup. It's a nice menstrual cup, but it does have its flaws.


Um.... I linked that O.o Well, I guess I'll just try posting it, since link formatting doesn't seem to work here...



@True Pleasures: I have two DivaCups, two Melunas, a Yuuki, and a Lunette! The Yuuki is my favorite because it's large, firm, and comfortable.


I love my Diva Cup! I also have a stash of Instead Cups for just this reason


LOVE this article. I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago, so I'm period free. But this is a must read for the faint of blood, for sure! I never had the pleasure of trying any of these products. Just a good old towel.


I like the dark towel idea.


Love this article. I have never understood why some people avoid it. Nothing eases cramps better than a few orgasms!




I also find that sex during or right before my period eases cramps and satisfies those extra strong pre-period hormonal urges. I have plenty of towels on hand, red sheets, and a stockpile of Instead cups to help us along. Afterwards, a nice hot shower eases any qualms my partners may have about getting sticky. Great suggestions!


Where can you buy these cups



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