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Mr. Sexsmith Says: Strapped On Blow Jobs Are Deeply Pleasurable

Mr. Sexsmith Says: Strapped On Blow Jobs Are Deeply Pleasurable
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Just what is it about strap-on blow jobs that turns people on?

  Dear Jill:

I can’t speak for everyone, but I will tell you that this is one of my favorite sexytime acts, and I have spent quite a lot of time talking to others about it and investigating what makes it fun and hot, so I have been musing on this for a while. Here’s a few ideas.

  1. The visual

Being strapped on and watching someone give me a blow job is hot. Who knows where it comes from—the influence of porn? The influence of the overly-pornified culture? The constant equation of hollowed cheeks and the O-shaped mouth with sexiness? Or maybe it comes somewhere deeper, some sense of deep knowing in ourselves that equates drool and sucking and the under-the-eyelids gaze with arousal and desire.

Regardless of your physical body, and regardless of your gender and orientation, seeing someone take this appendage of yours into their mouth is definitely a part of the experience and for many people, a definite turn on.

  2. The physical

For many folks who strap on, the pressure against their genitals is more than enough to get them off. I’m personally not one of those people, but I know many folks who are, many people who have to really think themselves away from orgasm once they start getting it on with their strap-on, rather than wishing they could come.

Sometimes making the physical pressure be enough stimulation can depend on what kind of harness you have—and what kind of pressure or stimulation you like. A one-strap harness helped me get the right kind of stimulation on my clit while strapped on, but I still want quite a bit more pressure than cocksucking usually gives, so I usually can only come while strapped on and fucking hard. Other people have told me, however, that a two-strap harness is more stimulating for them, either because of the way the cock sits or because the two-strap leaves a lot more access to the wearer’s genitals underneath the harness, and can be stimulated in other additional ways, from penetration to vibration and everything in between.

For some people, though, it doesn’t matter what kind of harness they have, they can get turned on and come just from someone sucking their strapped-on cock, regardless. (I kinda envy that, wish my body did it. But my body does other awesome things that theirs may not, so it’s a trade-off.)

  3. The mental

I am very cock-centric. Meaning, much of my sex life includes strapping on and wearing my cock. I don’t wear it all the time, but probably at least eighty percent of the time and maybe more. I usually play with it, and I usually crave it if I’m not playing with it. I get turned on wearing it, having the ability to penetrate from my hips, and playing with all the things surrounding it (like a bulge in my pants, straining against my zipper, rolling on a condom—all of those things).

I identify with it pretty strongly as part of me, not just something that is attached to me but a physical manifestation of how I feel. Now, don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t have to have anything to do with gender, though of course sometimes it does. Some of the most cock-centric people I’ve ever met have been femmes, and I know trans guys who transition and never strap on and don’t particularly identify with having a cock or using one. For me, it certainly compliments my gender and is a part of it, but it’s not an indication that I desire having some sort of genital surgery and medical transition.

All of those complicated feelings about me and my dick and my gender lead me to an interesting place where I like to embody it. I like my partners to take it seriously—I mean, not too seriously, but to treat it like it’s part of me, because it is—and I like to feel like it’s mine. Part of strapping on and getting a blow job is exactly that: Embodied recognition of this piece that is me but also not me.

I feel it, in my mind, because I am attached to it and because I embody it while I’m wearing it. That’s not the same as having nerve endings in the head of my dick, no, but it counts for a lot.

  4. The power

In addition to the mental, physical, and visual aspects of this, there’s often a power dynamic that can be exacerbated by blow jobs, and I particularly like—and am turned on by—playing with that. I don’t think any act is inherently power-based in any one direction—meaning, I don’t think someone receiving the blow job is inherently in power and someone giving a blow job is inherently powerless, which is how it’s commonly depicted. I mean, a woman has her teeth against a guy’s softest and most delicate and most precious bits—who’s really in power?

I think any act can be powered in any direction, and the power of that act could even switch partway through. But for me, as a cockcentric top, I am frequently in the position of power, using some play with power to enhance the experience of getting a blow job. Sometimes I use a little bit of rough movement, sometimes I’m the one who controls the depth and speed instead of them, giving them a little bit more of a helpless feeling. I get turned on by the power dynamics, in addition to all the other things.

  5. The turn-on for the other person

The arousal of the person who is sucking my cock is also a turn-on for me, let’s not forget that part. The mouth has thousands of nerve endings, and some people have massive oral fixations that leave their mouths craving to be filled. Getting face-fucked or sucking someone’s cock can be a major turn-on for the receiver. That’s one thing I especially love about queering this act, about doing it with a strap-on cock, is that it becomes a lot more about the receiver than about the person attached to the cock, and I think that’s valuable, especially considering the constant barrage of imagery showing women’s subordination and men’s domination through this precise act.

Taking one factor out of the equation—making the cock silicone—is a way to subvert that imagery, turn the expectations on their head, and, well, just get hard, get turned on, and have fun.

  We love to hear from you!

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Comments

thank you for all the insight. I'm female and going to be trying out a packer for the first time. I think i'm going to want to play with it too. I was feeling strange about it, which surprises me because i am so open minded and willing to try new things. You touched on much of what has been on my mind.

04/08/2012
Twitch  

beautifully done, as always, sin.

04/11/2012
Twitch  

beautifully done, as always, sin.

04/11/2012

I love all of your articles. There so well writen and just a pleasure to read.

10/30/2012

Very nicely done. It's nice to see that I'm not the only lesbian that is cock-centric. Until I read this article I thought I was a bit weird, so it's nice to find out that this is a relatively normal thing. Thank you.

06/02/2013
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