A willingness to work through emotions which are not immediately arousing can lead to some of the most powerful, moving and pleasurable orgasms you have ever experienced. Combined with those orgasmic highs are feelings which when released can heal the past and help you become more centered, creative and joyful.
These energy centers or sacred spots are the G-spot and A-spot in females—the P-spot in males.
You might have to move your finger a few fractions of an inch until you feel the depression you are looking for. Stimulate the G-Spot gently at first. Gradually, you will feel this spot become firmer to the touch as the erectile tissue it contains becomes engorged with blood.
Some women will find stimulation of the G-Spot challenging because it carries buried emotions and memories. Be prepared to accept and validate whatever comes up for her, whether it is laughter or tears or female ejaculation or preferably some combination of all three!
The easiest way to locate the A-spot is to slide your fingers up the anterior vaginal wall, past the G-spot to a slight depression which can feel similar to the G-spot. Stimulation of this area causes the vagina to lubricate very quickly and for some women it can also cause immediate and profound orgasms.
The A-spot is very close to the cervix so, please proceed with caution. Some women enjoy cervical stimulation and others find it painful.
This is the inner sanctum of the female body. The Sanskrit term for female genitalia, Yoni, means "divine passage," "womb" or "sacred temple." Like the petals of a flower, the vulva unfolds and blossoms, gradually opening to pleasure and penetration. Maintain this mental frame of reference and you will be more likely to evoke eroticism.
Tantric philosophy considers the P-spot men's emotional sex center because massaging it can release deep and powerful emotions. Stimulating the P-spot is best achieved with a gentle touch. Moving past the sphincter muscles located at the entrance and inside the rectum requires patience and care.
I recommend you use a latex or vinyl glove or finger cot—both as a barrier to infection and a means to protect the rectum from hangnails and fingernails. Apply a generous amount of lube and gently rub it around his anus and perineum. This feels wonderful and relaxes him further. Then carefully and slowly insert your finger about a half inch into his rectum. The sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and if you stay there, he is likely to feel more like defecating than having sex. Push a little deeper until you feel the second sphincter muscle close around your finger.
If he is feeling too anxious, the second sphincter muscle will be so tight that penetration will cause a great deal of pain. This muscle cannot be relaxed consciously, so if he feels the least bit of pain, back off for awhile and return to stimulating the anus. If he indicates he wants to be penetrated deeper, you can insert your finger all the way in. Make sure you have your hand cupped towards his belly so that your finger will be hitting his P-spot. Slowly at first, move your index finger to make the “come here” motion. You will feel a depression in the wall of his rectum and this area will become more erect or engorged the more you touch it.
At the moment of orgasm, you will feel waves of pleasure inside of his rectum. Do not remove your finger during the orgasm or even right afterwards. Stay inside of him and hold and comfort him if it seems appropriate.
Many men will cry or feel some form of deep emotion when they have this type of orgasm. If you suddenly yank your finger out, you risk creating feelings of abandonment and emptiness. You will also miss the power and intensity of their orgasm. A man's P-spot orgasm and the level of vulnerability often expressed with tears and laughter can be deeply moving for both you and him.
Many people run into difficulty because they treat these erogenous zones like the buttons on sex toys, but the sacred spots (G, A and P) are your sexual and spiritual core. If approached with love, they can transport you to some of your deepest dreams.