How to Introduce Sex Toys to a Partner Who’s Intimidated By Them
Introducing sex toys to a partner can feel a bit scary sometimes - especially if they seem hesitant. Talking about sex toys doesn’t have to be awkward or intimidating. With the right approach, you can normalize sex toys in your relationship and turn a potentially tense moment into something exciting.
If your partner is intimidated by sex toys, here’s what actually works:
Start the conversation in a way that feels casual and low-pressure
Choose words that invite curiosity, not defensiveness
Focus on how sex toys in relationships enhance connection - not replace it
Emphasize shared pleasure to avoid feelings of inadequacy
Use playful, non-threatening suggestions to ease into it
This guide breaks down exactly how to talk about sex toys without fear, shame, or weird vibes - so you can explore more pleasure together, not apart.
Where Is the Fear Really Coming From?
Most people aren’t scared of silicone - they’re scared of what it represents.
For some, a sex toy can trigger deeper worries:
“Am I not good enough in bed?”
“Are you trying to replace me?”
“What if I don’t know how to use it and mess everything up?”
These thoughts aren’t about the sex toy itself. They’re about self-worth, insecurity, and fear of being judged or left out.
6 Tips to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship
These easy tips will help you and your partner make your first experience with sex toys unforgettable.
1. Don’t Bring It Up During Sex
This is a conversation - not a surprise twist mid-foreplay. The best time? When you’re already feeling connected. Maybe after cuddling or during a lazy Sunday hang. Try saying:
“Can I tell you something I’ve been curious about? Nothing serious - just wondering.” It’s casual, low-pressure, and invites them in - instead of cornering them.
2. Use “We” Instead of “You”
Skip the “I want a sex toy” line. It can sound like something’s missing. Try:
“Do you think it’d be fun for us to try something new together?” Now it’s about both of you - and suddenly, it’s not so scary. This approach helps normalize sex toys in relationships as a shared experience.
3. Make It Fun, Not Formal
Lighten the mood. Bring it up through a meme, a podcast, or a funny scene from a show. Then go:
“Have you ever thought about that for us?” No pressure. Just planting the seed. (Talking about sex toys doesn’t have to be awkward - it can be playful.)
4. Start Small - Think “Intro” Toys
If your partner is intimidated by sex toys, don’t lead with a high-powered rabbit vibe. Try something chill and couple-friendly:
1. A silky blindfold 2. A vibrating ring 3. A massage candle These are low-pressure ways to introduce sex toys that feel more like foreplay.
5. Reassure, Don’t Convince
If your partner gets quiet, just let them know:
“This isn’t because something’s wrong. I just think it could be something fun for us to explore.” You’re not trying to fix anything. You’re making space for more intimacy - and normalizing sex toys in a real, human way.
6. Leave Space for Curiosity
Let them take the lead if they want to. Try:
“We don’t have to decide anything now. But if you ever want to browse for fun, EdenFantasys has some cool stuff.” It’s not a demand - it’s an open door. That's one of the gentlest ways to start talking about sex toys in a relationship.
Best Sex Toys to Introduce to Your Partner If They Feel Unsure
Bringing sex toys into your relationship can deepen intimacy - but for a partner who’s never tried them, it might feel a little intimidating. The trick is to keep it low-pressure and choose toys that feel fun, not overwhelming.
Finger Vibrator
A finger vibrator feels like an extension of your hand. It’s small, discreet, and great for enhancing foreplay or gentle clitoral stimulation.
Rules to Follow When Introducing Sex Toys To Your Partner
Follow these easy steps to make your experience easier.
1. Skip the Realistic Stuff Toys that closely resemble real anatomy can make some people feel awkward or self-conscious. They might trigger unnecessary comparisons or insecurities. Instead, go for: toys with abstract shapes or soft, playful designs that focus purely on pleasure - not imitation.
2. Avoid Anything That Might Feel Like a Critique Super intense toys with multiple functions and maxed-out settings might unintentionally send the message that your partner isn’t doing enough. Stick with: simple, beginner-friendly toys that enhance what you're already enjoying together - without taking over.
3. Start Small, Quiet, and Easy The best intro toys are ones that don’t require a manual (or a Wi-Fi connection). Keep things low-pressure and intuitive to build comfort and confidence. Great beginner options: Finger vibrators, massage oils, blindfolds or silky ties.
Let Pop Culture Help You Out
Sometimes, TV does your dirty work for you.
If you’re watching a show and a toy appears (hello, Sex Education, Girls, Insecure), use that as a jumping-off point. You don’t need a TED Talk - just a simple:
“That was kind of hot, yeah?”
It plants a seed. It makes it normal, casual, and part of the world around you - not something you pulled from a secret fantasy vault.
Things People Are Most Worried About When Introducing Sex Toys To Their Partners
What if they think I’m unhappy with our sex life?
Tell them clearly: “I love what we have - I just think this could add a fun twist. No pressure.”
Are there any “safest” toys to start with?
Yes - finger vibes, vibrating rings, and massage candles are all cozy entry points.
What if I want to keep exploring and they’re just… not into it?
That’s okay. You can enjoy toys solo, talk about fantasies, or find new kinds of connection that work for both of you.
Can we just go to a sex shop together?
If they’re open to it, absolutely! It can be fun and eye-opening to explore options together in person or online.
Why Trust Matters More Than the Sex Toys
Introducing a sex toy to your relationship isn't just about trying something new; it's also about initiating an open and honest conversation about pleasure.
When you bring up sex toys, you’re not just suggesting a new experience. You’re saying: “I trust you enough to talk about what I enjoy - and I care enough to learn what you enjoy, too.”
If your partner feels unsure or hesitant, that’s completely normal. Trying something new can be vulnerable. What matters most isn’t whether they say yes right away - it’s that you made space for a respectful, grown-up conversation about sex.
In the end, a sex toy is just a tool. Real intimacy comes from trust, communication, and the willingness to explore pleasure together - at your own pace.
