The New Intimacy

Anal sex question

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Contributor: itismedi itismedi
When you FIRST began exploring anal, how long was it before you and your significant other enjoyed a full session (for lack of a better word). I am getting frustrated because sometimes we are good and almost there and other times we barely get anything "accomplished". All other aspects of our sexlife are to the highest level. I am a submissive (probably why I am frustrated over this) and we are into bondage, spanking, etc... and have been for years. I WANT this and it isn't going as well as I think it should.
THANKS
09/15/2012
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Contributor: Mitzuki Mitzuki
I'm in the same boat as you! My partner and I have been trying for months now to enjoy a full session. We've only successfully accomplished that once, and we haven't been able to pull it off since. Maybe because I get too nervous, even if I ask for it? I'm not really sure. I hope it doesn't take you two as long as it's taken us!

I hope others have some solutions for this! I know my partner would love it if we could pull it off again!
09/16/2012
Contributor: AlleyKitten AlleyKitten
Well, a few tries, I guess. But then I'm a very gay dude that had masturbated a lot with anal toys before I ever had anal sex with someone else so I was fairly well prepared.

I'd suggest buying some toys and using them on yourself even when not with your partner. I would also suggest wearing a medium-sized buttplug for half an hour before anal sex so that you're loose and ready.
09/19/2012
Contributor: Ouroborean Ouroborean
My partner has some difficulty being on the receiving end, during anal-play, due to some intestinal issues, so we're going slow on that. With me on the receiving end, we enjoyed a full session on the first go. For some reason, I'm unusually elastic, on that front. No idea why.
09/19/2012
Contributor: MrsHouseWife MrsHouseWife
My husband and I have regular anal sex and for us sometimes it just doesn’t happen, as much as I want it too and I can't explain why. It took maybe a month or more or regular anal play for me to be able to last long enough for my husband to cum.
Keep trying, relax and enjoy the journey
09/20/2012
Contributor: butts butts
We've actually only had a problem ONCE when I hadn't played with myself in a while, and I wasn't loose enough, it wasn't very comfortable and we ended up stopping. That's the only time though, even the second time I ever had sex was anal and there was no complications. I would very much suggest using some toys first to prepare you more if discomfort is an issue.
09/20/2012
Contributor: CaliGirl CaliGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by AlleyKitten
Well, a few tries, I guess. But then I'm a very gay dude that had masturbated a lot with anal toys before I ever had anal sex with someone else so I was fairly well prepared.

I'd suggest buying some toys and using them on yourself ... more
Exactly! When I know I'm going to be playing I will wear at least a med size butt plug for extended times, sometimes after that I'll use a larger plug so I can slowly relax and stretch out. Also, A very god lube is beyond important, and not just a little, more is better.
10/31/2012
Contributor: Real or memorex Real or memorex
Quote:
Originally posted by itismedi
When you FIRST began exploring anal, how long was it before you and your significant other enjoyed a full session (for lack of a better word). I am getting frustrated because sometimes we are good and almost there and other times we barely get ... more
Dan Savage had some great how-to advice about anal sex - warming up, how slow to go, communication - in one of his columns in the last couple of months. It might be worth looking up.

I like anal sex, but sometimes my ass is in the mood for it and sometimes there's nothing that will get it ready. Ass closed for business. It's no reflection on you if you can't get there. Enjoy the sensation of anal play at your body's comfort level and let go of needing to achieve full penetration for now, is my two cents'.
11/05/2012
Contributor: Ayogirl230 Ayogirl230
Quote:
Originally posted by itismedi
When you FIRST began exploring anal, how long was it before you and your significant other enjoyed a full session (for lack of a better word). I am getting frustrated because sometimes we are good and almost there and other times we barely get ... more
i'd say 5-6 sessions. take your time!
02/16/2013
Contributor: Dear Ruby Dear Ruby
It definitely takes a while and is dependent on a lot of factors - I see a lot of bottoms (lol) thinking that it's their problem, when really, that's not always it.
02/19/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by itismedi
When you FIRST began exploring anal, how long was it before you and your significant other enjoyed a full session (for lack of a better word). I am getting frustrated because sometimes we are good and almost there and other times we barely get ... more
Use small toys for a long time and get comfortable with them before moving up. Don't even worry about when it happens. Let things happen on their own schedule.
02/19/2013