My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
Are safe words really important?
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Are safe words really important?
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Quote:
some time No or Stop really means, more please
Originally posted by
HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
link
06/13/2012
Quote:
That my view on this, although obviously plenty of people do play with out safe-words and end up fine it still good to have one just in case. Although don't let the emphasis on safewords let you forget the importance of trust communication and proper safety precautions.
Originally posted by
gsfanatic
Better to have one you don't need than to need one and not have it.
06/14/2012
Even though I have a safeword, I rarely use it. But to me having a safeword is actually makes me feel more secure in a scene. I know that its there in case something is triggered and I need out, or if an emergency arises and I am in true honest pain.
I know that there are some people who do not have them, but I think starting out a safeword is a good thing to have so that you can both learn both what is good and what might not be working out. Even something as simple as the Green, Yellow, Red method could work.
I know that there are some people who do not have them, but I think starting out a safeword is a good thing to have so that you can both learn both what is good and what might not be working out. Even something as simple as the Green, Yellow, Red method could work.
06/15/2012
I think it's a matter of trust and depends on how.. Intense your play gets? For example, I don't know that my boyfriend and I really need a safe word because he never really "hurts" me. As our play gets more intense, however, I think it may be something worth looking in to. We've discussed light choking and have played around with smacking lately, so it may be about time.
Really though, I think light whipping, trying up, gags, etc... It's probably not extremely important. Whatever you're comfortable with!
Really though, I think light whipping, trying up, gags, etc... It's probably not extremely important. Whatever you're comfortable with!
06/15/2012
If it's just some light bondage, like tying hands together and blindfolding kinda stuff, I think you are alright without a safe word. But if you are doing anything more extreme, it's always important to have a safe word. It's important to be prepared just in case something happens.
Honestly I've never had to use mine, but then again my partner and I know each other's limits pretty well (and how far you can go beyond them before it's too far ).
Also if you get into any rope bondage and such...having a pair of medical scissors on hand is a good idea...just in case it gets to one of those situations and you need to get someone out of it fast.
Honestly I've never had to use mine, but then again my partner and I know each other's limits pretty well (and how far you can go beyond them before it's too far ).
Also if you get into any rope bondage and such...having a pair of medical scissors on hand is a good idea...just in case it gets to one of those situations and you need to get someone out of it fast.
06/17/2012
Quote:
There is no substitute for clear communication. Safewords are great, but if you're able to clearly communicate that whatever is going on needs to stop and get it to actually stop then you don't need them. I don't have one and I've been doing BDSM play for years.
Originally posted by
HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
06/19/2012
If you and your husband are open and have that clear communication then you should be fine. I do feel that a safe word is what it is a SAFE WORD to make you safe when you need to be. I would always have one no matter what even though we do not really do any BDSM maybe the light smack on the ass but that is about it. If I am with someone else then I would make sure to have one and use it only when you are DONE once you use it PLAY TIME IS OVER FOR THAT TIME.
Good luck with your adventures in your sexual relationship and fun times.
Stay safe.
Good luck with your adventures in your sexual relationship and fun times.
Stay safe.
07/12/2012
I think they are important. You may never use them, but at least they are there. People tend to go into alternate states of consciousness when playing hard. Even what some people consider "light" bondage (I'm not really sure what that means, as everyone has a different level of play they consider "rough") and even tying someone up can get heavy, and even a very mild scene can trigger either the Dom or the sub in some cases. Having a Safe Word and Safe Motion (in case you can't speak) is a good idea.
Triggering can occur. On one day a certain action may be the best thing ever, on an other day, it can suddenly feel "not right."
The Safe Word, for many, doesn't necessarily mean "play time is over" it may just mean, "Loosen that" or "Don't do that at that angle, OK?" or even "GET OFFA ME!" and then play can continue as long as both partners are safe, consenting and happy with the scene.
For most people "Stop" or "NO" are not the best Safe Words. When playing hard, Ravishment Play can and often does include using words like this, even when nobody means it. (I'm not talking about dating or casual sex, I'm talking engaging in a scene with someone you know and trust well) Something that you wouldn't say in the heat of passion is probably the best Safe Word.
It also depends on how well the two of you know each other. My Man and I have been together so long that a simple grunt to "Wait" can substitute for a Safe Word, as we've been having sex with each other for decades. He knows the difference between a playing, "OMG stop!" and a real cry for stop in the play for a moment or just an adjustment to what we are doing.
Triggering can occur. On one day a certain action may be the best thing ever, on an other day, it can suddenly feel "not right."
The Safe Word, for many, doesn't necessarily mean "play time is over" it may just mean, "Loosen that" or "Don't do that at that angle, OK?" or even "GET OFFA ME!" and then play can continue as long as both partners are safe, consenting and happy with the scene.
For most people "Stop" or "NO" are not the best Safe Words. When playing hard, Ravishment Play can and often does include using words like this, even when nobody means it. (I'm not talking about dating or casual sex, I'm talking engaging in a scene with someone you know and trust well) Something that you wouldn't say in the heat of passion is probably the best Safe Word.
It also depends on how well the two of you know each other. My Man and I have been together so long that a simple grunt to "Wait" can substitute for a Safe Word, as we've been having sex with each other for decades. He knows the difference between a playing, "OMG stop!" and a real cry for stop in the play for a moment or just an adjustment to what we are doing.
07/12/2012
Quote:
I agree it depends how well you know eachother and how close attention you pay to what your partner expresses
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I think they are important. You may never use them, but at least they are there. People tend to go into alternate states of consciousness when playing hard. Even what some people consider "light" bondage (I'm not really sure what that
...
I think they are important. You may never use them, but at least they are there. People tend to go into alternate states of consciousness when playing hard. Even what some people consider "light" bondage (I'm not really sure what that means, as everyone has a different level of play they consider "rough") and even tying someone up can get heavy, and even a very mild scene can trigger either the Dom or the sub in some cases. Having a Safe Word and Safe Motion (in case you can't speak) is a good idea.
Triggering can occur. On one day a certain action may be the best thing ever, on an other day, it can suddenly feel "not right."
The Safe Word, for many, doesn't necessarily mean "play time is over" it may just mean, "Loosen that" or "Don't do that at that angle, OK?" or even "GET OFFA ME!" and then play can continue as long as both partners are safe, consenting and happy with the scene.
For most people "Stop" or "NO" are not the best Safe Words. When playing hard, Ravishment Play can and often does include using words like this, even when nobody means it. (I'm not talking about dating or casual sex, I'm talking engaging in a scene with someone you know and trust well) Something that you wouldn't say in the heat of passion is probably the best Safe Word.
It also depends on how well the two of you know each other. My Man and I have been together so long that a simple grunt to "Wait" can substitute for a Safe Word, as we've been having sex with each other for decades. He knows the difference between a playing, "OMG stop!" and a real cry for stop in the play for a moment or just an adjustment to what we are doing.
Triggering can occur. On one day a certain action may be the best thing ever, on an other day, it can suddenly feel "not right."
The Safe Word, for many, doesn't necessarily mean "play time is over" it may just mean, "Loosen that" or "Don't do that at that angle, OK?" or even "GET OFFA ME!" and then play can continue as long as both partners are safe, consenting and happy with the scene.
For most people "Stop" or "NO" are not the best Safe Words. When playing hard, Ravishment Play can and often does include using words like this, even when nobody means it. (I'm not talking about dating or casual sex, I'm talking engaging in a scene with someone you know and trust well) Something that you wouldn't say in the heat of passion is probably the best Safe Word.
It also depends on how well the two of you know each other. My Man and I have been together so long that a simple grunt to "Wait" can substitute for a Safe Word, as we've been having sex with each other for decades. He knows the difference between a playing, "OMG stop!" and a real cry for stop in the play for a moment or just an adjustment to what we are doing.
07/12/2012
Quote:
Safe words are only necessary when no doesnt mean no. If no means no then you dont need one. If you are going to do something like a rape fantasy where no doesnt mean no then you absolutely need one
Originally posted by
HisOneAndOnly
My husband and I have purchased a couple of the toys from this category and we don't use safe words, should we be using them??
07/13/2012
Quote:
If no always means no, then you don't need one.
Originally posted by
Zandrock
Safe words are only necessary when no doesnt mean no. If no means no then you dont need one. If you are going to do something like a rape fantasy where no doesnt mean no then you absolutely need one
If there is any question, try it out.
07/14/2012
In a word, yes, safe words are important, especially if you plan to do any sort of resistance play where "no" very often does mean "yes." "Red" for stop, "yellow" for slow down, and "green" for good to go again is a pretty simple and intuitive system. If you're not doing anything of that sort though (and your partner knows that your shouting "get these damned ropes off me!" really does mean precisely that), then you're probably fine; just make sure to establish that first! You don't want to get halfway through a scene before you realize that the two of you have different ideas about the type of play or the meaning of "no."
07/17/2012
Total posts:
30
Unique posters: 30
Unique posters: 30