Have you ever had to use your safe word?

Contributor: mllebeauty mllebeauty
I've used a safe word once with an ex. We were experimenting. He wrapped me, toes to upper shoulders, in saran wrap and then began coiling a heavy rope around my body. Saran wrap doesn't breathe so I got very over-heated. By the time he got to my upper chest I felt like I was having trouble breathing and was really panicky. I used my safe word and he stopped right away. He got everything off me and comforted me. Not a bad experience, but I've never played with saran wrap again.
09/25/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
In relation to all of the threads discussing what your safe word is, now I wonder: have you ever actually had to use it? Even if it was once, say yes. Do discuss below!
Never had one, or been in a situation to need one.
09/28/2010
Contributor: Tart Tart
I had to use my safeword at the last play party I attended. I was playing with new rope and put myself into a pretty nifty position. The rope bound my ankles together in an indian style position then while on my back I suspended them towards my chest with a chest harness. I was rather proud until I found myself surrounded by four Dominants. Eeek! I think what made me break were the clothespins on my pussy and then whipped off with a flogger. Ouch.. RED!
10/21/2010
Contributor: Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
I've only had to use it once or twice, and that was because I hear my fiances mother coming up the stairs, and no and stop weren't working.
10/21/2010
Contributor: Mocha98 Mocha98
My slave did. I guess the tazor was too much!
11/06/2010
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
Only a few times... Usually my partner is able to read my reactions well enough that I don't need to...
11/07/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I have never needed one. I will just say Ow or STOP. the tone of voice is what makes the difference with me.
12/05/2010
Contributor: Akikaze Akikaze
We really only used it twice. It was in the beginning of it all, so it was okay to use to gauge what we were good with. Now we don't use the word, but can read each other face's. We don't stop, per se, as we do tone it down. Give a minute to recoop before getting heavy again.
12/05/2010
Contributor: clp clp
I have never used mine, but I don't think I'd be intimidated to do so. I instead rely heavily on planning a scene before hand to make sure all parties are satisfied with how things will go without surprises. I do this because, while I know I would yank the cord if a scene were particularly horrible, I'm the sort that otherwise hangs around to see if things get better--which can be dangerous in the wrong hands.
12/09/2010
Contributor: RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
There was one time I probably should have, but I was enjoying my self so much that I kind of forgot we even had one... oops. Good thing I healed up pretty quickly.
12/18/2010
Contributor: Mr. & Mrs. Peg Mr. & Mrs. Peg
No, because 1). my limits are far outside where Mrs. Peg is willing to go and 2). even if they weren't she wouldn't let herself exceed them.
01/17/2011
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
Never had to use it
03/17/2011
Contributor: skunked skunked
Never had to use one
03/18/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
In relation to all of the threads discussing what your safe word is, now I wonder: have you ever actually had to use it? Even if it was once, say yes. Do discuss below!
Never.
03/20/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Yes, we have. A couple moments got a little too intense, lol...
03/20/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
have never needed to. we havent even came up with a safe word.
03/20/2011
Contributor: cobiffle cobiffle
We have but only because we were doing some new things that we didnt know if we would like
03/20/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I think there is no shame in having to use your safe word. Sometimes something feels really good, and other times, the same action or toy or move isn't what turns you on, or even hurts in a bad way.

Like I think I may have said earlier in the thread, My Man can tell from my tone of voice and I can tell from his when something isn't working, and that's all it takes with us. But, we've been together for a long time.
03/20/2011
Contributor: Epicurean Epicurean
Didn't use an actual safe word, but I did have to stop a choking scene once. I went into a real panic mode. That's about all the details I'll share. It wasn't pleasant.

There was one other time where I was bound hand and foot to a spreader bar, blindfolded and my Dom was fucking my mouth. He was going too deep but I had no way of signaling for him to stop, since I couldn't see, speak, or move. Eventually I managed a muffled noise and all was ok. That one didn't bother me too much.
03/21/2011
Contributor: Airplane Airplane
We have a safe word in place, but we've never had to use it. We're both really good at reading the other's voice and body language. There's a pretty big difference in the voice I use to stay "stop" and the voice I use when I mean STOP.

It's the same for him. Usually, when he is subbing, he takes on a much more effeminate voice. When he needs me to stop, he drops it, and it's easy to tell the difference.

We've both still agreed that safe words are important, and having a kind of "tap out" motion, for when one of us can't speak. That, we have used once. I got a little overzealous in my face-sitting routine, and he needed to come up for air, ha.
03/31/2011
Contributor: cuntofdoom cuntofdoom
Only once. In general, simple "ouch"'s or "stop" or "no" work fine. I've never really played with consensual non-consent before, so usually it isn't an issue. It's still good to have around because it's handy if you get freaked out, or are too deep in subspace to express no. Even if you never use them, have them handy (like Plan B!)
03/31/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
We have not used one. Granted we haven't had much real play time, but he's good at telling whether I'm badly freaked out or just acting/freaked out in a good way.
04/01/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
So far no
07/11/2011
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
She wouldn't let me cum until I used it, so yes I have
12/11/2011
Contributor: Masokisti Masokisti
There's no need to be shy in letting your partner know you're uncomfortable with something. Instead of a safeword, my boyfriend and I use a color code system. "Green" for everything is fine, proceed. "Yellow" for slow down, less pressure, etc. "Red" is used in place of a safeword, but we like having a gradual system, its more specific than just "stop" and stands out from the usual sexual banter.
12/11/2011
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Yes, but only because we were playing at an odd angle and it was hurting more than it should have. After readjusting, everything was fine.
12/11/2011
Contributor: switzerland switzerland
we haven't really come up with a safe word... we just speak up if something doesn't feel right
12/12/2011
Contributor: idunshire idunshire
I've never used our actual safeword, but I have had to tap out once in a while during breathplay.
12/12/2011
Contributor: 131231e43 131231e43
I've had a submissive use a safe word with me one time.
01/19/2012
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
In relation to all of the threads discussing what your safe word is, now I wonder: have you ever actually had to use it? Even if it was once, say yes. Do discuss below!
I used mine twice in my very brief marriage, and at one point, used the hand signal. My ex ignored it every single time and kept going. These weren't even BDSM scenes that got out of hand - they were instances of sexual contact that I didn't want. So unfortunately each instance of using the safe word was trying to make it clear that a particular sexual act was unwanted (after saying "No, stop, I don't want this, please stop").

I got a new safe word with my new partners, because the old one only reminds me of being raped by the man I loved and trusted.
01/19/2012