Is play different from sex

Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
Do you differentiate kinky play and sex from each other? Or is kinky play a form of sex to you?
07/26/2012
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Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
diff to me. play often leads to sex or can be sexual. but so much more to it than that. especially if its sensory play, being deprived orgasm, assigned tasks etc.
07/26/2012
Contributor: Gdom Gdom
I'm with Vanillafree on this one. In my mind, bondage (without stimulation) is a good example of kinky play that's not a form of sex. That being said, I don't think there's a simple hierarchy between sex and play, so the fact that certain things just don't strike me as being sex doesn't detract from them.
07/26/2012
Contributor: Ahatmadeofshoes12 Ahatmadeofshoes12
I use sex as a broad terms to describe all kinds of kinky play. The only difference is that I use "play" when I'm trying to sound upbeat and casual. However, in actuality I do consider play to be sex.
07/26/2012
Contributor: Ahatmadeofshoes12 Ahatmadeofshoes12
I use sex as a broad terms to describe all kinds of kinky play. The only difference is that I use "play" when I'm trying to sound upbeat and casual. However, in actuality I do consider play to be sex.
07/26/2012
Contributor: Ahatmadeofshoes12 Ahatmadeofshoes12
I use sex as a broad terms to describe all kinds of kinky play. The only difference is that I use "play" when I'm trying to sound upbeat and casual. However, in actuality I do consider play to be sex.
07/26/2012
Contributor: MissMori MissMori
I often use the term "play" when I'm talking about a sexual encounter just as shorthand for "there were kinky things involved".
But really, I can have "play" encounters (impact, service, etc.) without sex, and sex without any kind of kinky component (I for one do not hate on the vanilla).
I usually blend the two, and when I do there's often a point where the "play" turns into sex - like going through an impact scene and then getting fucked at the end.
That said, anything that is on the surface "just" play and doesn't involve penetration or orgasm is still inherently sexual. For example, I've made a cake the day before a visit from Sir. On the surface, that's not a sexual act, but knowing that I'm making it for Him feels sexy even though I'm just working in the kitchen. Baking may not even be "play" in a strict sense, but it can feel like it for me if I have the ultimate goal of doing something FOR Him.

Good topic though! My (kinky) brother and I were talking about this and his take was that he enjoys "play" (impact, etc.) and often gets annoyed when people assume the end goal is sex! Sometimes a guy just wants a fun flogging scene, right?
07/26/2012
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMori
I often use the term "play" when I'm talking about a sexual encounter just as shorthand for "there were kinky things involved".
But really, I can have "play" encounters (impact, service, etc.) without sex, and ... more
This is really well stated, and echos my own thoughts on kinky play vs sex! *applauds*
07/26/2012
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
To me, it'd probably be the same, but I understand how it's not for others
07/26/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
Quote:
Originally posted by MissMori
I often use the term "play" when I'm talking about a sexual encounter just as shorthand for "there were kinky things involved".
But really, I can have "play" encounters (impact, service, etc.) without sex, and ... more
Well said! This is pretty much how I use the term, too. There is blend and overlap, but play still has a certain distinct meaning.
07/27/2012