I prefer to be the one delivering the spankings, but I've been on the bottom end (heh) quite a few times. If you're eliciting spankings from a partner that's new to impact play/spanking, please start with the hand only! This gives the spanker a much better understanding of how much force they are imparting on the bum. Their hand will sting much less than your tush, but it helps bridge the gap of understanding.

Egg-style vibrators are a good pairing with spankings, as are buttplugs - if you're in the mood for more intensity. A swift smack on it can be very intense though, so start easy! I would strongly suggest going with an external wand-style vibrator, with the recipient laying on their stomach.

Hands-free panty-style vibrators would also be a great fit if you are really looking for that over-the-knee spanking~

Nothing inside and gentle barehanded. Don't mind a little red but don't want it to hurt. Best part is when he kisses my cheeks to make it all better

This is definitely a balance. My wife only rarely wants any impact play - but when she does, I know to be gentle.

As for me - I prefer it harder - red skin and maybe a few marks.

However, neither of us like the bare hand approach. Paddles, floggers, slappers all enter the picture. IMO it isn't that difficult to figure how hard is too hard or not enough.

The simple formula is to start light then add or subtract force in response to your partner's clues - or even overt requests. As always, communication is the key to success - with spanking or any other human endeavor.

he came a little too soon last night just when I was getting close.
This morning I gave him a few smacks ykw. .

He promised to do better tonight. I told him, he better. Otherwise I would show him how it's done. The Boss might have to come out to play this weekend