The New Intimacy

The terms "Masochist" and "Submissive".....

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Contributor: Breas Breas
So I'm reading this educational book on S&M.. I'll be honest, I don't know a whole lot about the subject, and have only dabbled with it a few times. I was reading the preliminary, and the author talks about The submissive person, and then talks about the masochist. I am wondering, are these terms used interchangeably? Of course, I mean the general population of the SM community...

I can see trying the submissive role, but I do not think I could be a masochist..

(for those of you who do not know the terms)..

the book says that the submissive is someone who obeys orders during play, and the masochist enjoys pain.

Perhaps the book gets into this later on, but like I said, I'm only just finishing the preliminary lol
10/16/2011
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Contributor: Midway through Midway through
They can be, but are not always interchangeable. Not all submissives like pain, and therefore they are not all masochistic in nature. Not all masochists are submissive. My boyfriend is a masochist, and is not submissive in the least.

I am a domme, and a sadist, so playing with him suits my fancy for my sadism, but doesn't really sooth my domme because he won't let me force submission on him.

There are many people who are both, submissive and masochistic. But as a general definition, they are not always both present in a person.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
There are masochists who are dominants, sadists who are submissive, people who identify on the BDSM range but aren't interested in S/M at all, etc. It's not uncommon at all for subs to be masochists (I am), but it's not innately linked or interchangeable.
10/16/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
"Masochism" is a term named after Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, sort of the "father" of masochism (not really). He wrote a book, Venus in Furs, that you should probably read.

"Masochist" describes someone who often enjoys pain and humiliation.
"Submissive" describes someone who often is obedient and passive, and hands themselves over to the whim of another.
10/17/2011
Contributor: bratofthekitties bratofthekitties
I've always thought of masochism as sort of a pre-existing condition, I've been a masochist forever but becoming submissive now that was hard shit. Theres lots of other fun stuff you can do, with toys or without that is more about sensation and/or submission
10/17/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Not all subs like pain.

As for me, I like pain, but not insane hardcore 'beat-me-to-an-inch-of -my-life!' pain. 'course, I don't think anyone's into that, but if they are....all the power to ya.

I like the turn my ass a nice shade of pink pain and dig your nails into my back and scratch me pain.
10/17/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
They can be, but are not always interchangeable. Not all submissives like pain, and therefore they are not all masochistic in nature. Not all masochists are submissive. My boyfriend is a masochist, and is not submissive in the least.

I am a ... more
Thank you for the response! I was wondering about if they were basically a combo pack in BDSM but you've cleared that up for me, thank you!
10/20/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by Kkay
There are masochists who are dominants, sadists who are submissive, people who identify on the BDSM range but aren't interested in S/M at all, etc. It's not uncommon at all for subs to be masochists (I am), but it's not innately linked or ... more
Thanks Kkay for your response!
10/20/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
It's fascinating, isn't it? While I am not in the lifestyle, if I were, I'd be a domme, but not a sadist nor a masochist.
10/20/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
"Masochism" is a term named after Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, sort of the "father" of masochism (not really). He wrote a book, Venus in Furs, that you should probably read.

"Masochist" describes someone who often ... more
I'll have to read that!
10/21/2011