Quote:
Originally posted by
Tessa Taboo
If your best friend approached you, and said that they felt an urge to start getting into BDSM, what would you tell them? Would you refer them to websites to get info? Would you give them any certain advice, or jumping off points for where to
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If your best friend approached you, and said that they felt an urge to start getting into BDSM, what would you tell them? Would you refer them to websites to get info? Would you give them any certain advice, or jumping off points for where to start?
I've just seen all these posts about how Fifty Shades has given so many people the wrong idea.... so, how do you get the RIGHT idea?
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-Read good, reputable, non-fiction books. SM 101, The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book are three great places to get started! Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns is a good book but slightly more advanced and more intimidating. Start with one of the other three. If you're interested in Topping, you should still read the bottoming book as well.
-Be SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL!
-Connect with your local kink community and go to munches (meetings of kink minded people at coffee shops or restaurants, very casual and social), workshops, discussion groups, etc. You can usually find stuff on fetlife.com or just do a google search for clubs or groups in your area. Yes, this requires going a bit out of a lot of people's comfort zone but it's so worth it.
-Find mentors and teachers if at all possible.
-If you have a partner you're considering playing with, be boldly honest and thorough in your communication with them. If you are going to be seeking a partner, do your research about them, ask around the local community about them, if possible, watch them play at a party. Be safe! The books I recommended give good advice for how to stay safe when considering a relative stranger to play with.
-You WILL make mistakes. You will NEVER be done learning!