I don't like using scarves; I find that they are too easy to miss. One option is that you drop something heavy that can be heard as it clunks against the floor, a polished stone or small metal ball.

I don't practice that, though, we use another signal. When someone is tied down with no movement possible, our safe action is to shake your head left to right / right to left three times while making a "unh" sound (or a gagged "no"). That way we have a visual, as well as a sound, so if one is missed the other can be noticed.

We find that it works best if the head turn is all the way, shoulder to shoulder, so there's no confusion of someone just writhing in ecstasy less

I was hoping someone would talk of something similar to this. My partner and I communicate very well and he can read from my facial expression / body language if something is wrong. So my guess is if we use ways we ar accustomed to then we should be ok. I am still curious though, in situations where you aren't facing the individual...I guess my partner would have to look in my face. less

For me when I have a gagged playmate I make sure to go very slow and methodical so that I can see ecatly what is going on with their faces and body language. I rarely tie a head still and I prefer the action to take place in front of a mirror so that I can see the person from all angles. My sub knows that to shake his or her head no is to end the scene completely. I will push boundaries but slowly and carefully as I don't want to cause lasting harm to either the sub or our relationship...that trust is so fragile.
Usually I snuggle the sub after and we discuss what was positive about the experience and what was not so positive. I have to have an amazing amount of trust to be bound or gagged myself so this helps my guys when they see how I top to understand how to top me...if that makes sense. I have to allow a person to top me, and I always keep that in mind when I am topping someone else.

I would suggest until you have worked that trust up and your partner learns your body language that you have a break frequently in the session where he looks into your face and asks you whether you think you can handle what he wants to do next. If you shake your head no then he stops and questions you fully about what you are having trouble with (he doesn't have to be polite or gentle while questioning you but he has to stop all physical sensation). When he is comfortable he can either decide to end the session and play comfort time or he can continue in the new direction you will discuss. This builds trust and he learns your true limits. Slow and easy builds years of fun.

If you need the activity to stop because of sensory overload or real pain then the deliberate headshake is the best answer I've found. Be sure to exaggerate the movement and also he needs to be sure that he's looking for that negative shake. less

I am trying to think of some original ideas different from the "dropping a scarf" when it gets too intense.

I have looked at other forum posts about this but it mostly tends to be actual safe words verbally used. I am looking for something you can do if your hands or feet our bound and you have a ball gag in place. What actions have you tried, and do they work.

I am reluctant to simply drop a scarf and expect my partner to notice in the heat of the momment. I'm new to this and I'm trying to get my parter more and more involved but I want to make sure we are communicating and we both catch each others signals. less

If I'm not looking at my partner's face, or she at mine, we tap three times on the bed, or whatever's easily accessible to get the other's attention. For us it works, because any time I'm restrained I have the freedom to at least move my wrist up and down. Even so, unless my partner is too far to see my head, she usually can hear me, but we don't usually play with loud music on, so that has never been a big concern for us.

I hope some more people come in and give you ideas! less