In the outside world, I'm pretty overbearing, a "leader" type (not bragging, just going on everything from old report cards to every day confirmations from others) and a strong woman.
In bed, I'm subby. My Man is a natural Dom, and sometimes we clash. I Top from the Bottom a LOT. He takes it in good humor (a few weeks ago, I simply told him to take off his shirt, while we were having sex, (I was wearing NOTHING) and he said, "It's all about you. Isn't it?" I fretted about it for the rest of the session and afterward he told me he was kidding around.)
I'd like him to often be even more Dommy (is that a word) but I think he has a fear of hurting me. Although, if other people could see (and they aren't going to) I think it would look pretty cut and dried D/S. (And I capitalize the S because IMO, it's just as important as D. In most scenes, the Bottom allows and even controls, even if the Top is seemingly controlling the scene and making the main moves and decisions. I love when he chooses the toys and the scene and it works most of the time, nearly all of the time!)
I have no desire to be more Dominant in bed, with the exception of often asking him (or telling him) exactly what I want. There's nothing wrong with asking for what you want. A lot of time, he seems to KNOW what I want BEFORE I DO. Weird, some of the stuff we do, if I were to think about it before hand, I would probably say, "Wait, let me think about that first." My Man just DOES things, without much conversation and a most times it's exactly what I want. He often KNOWS before I do.
That's one of the good things about both being together a long time and being on the same vibe. (I don't mean the toy, I mean on the same vibrations. Thinking and feeling the same and KNOWING each other.)
