#EdenLit - March Meeting 3/12/2012 @7pm EST

The New Intimacy

#EdenLit - March Meeting 3/12/2012 @7pm EST

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
OK I can say it now....you had Stormy blushing bright red-est red with your man's point of view! I wanted her to use one of your pieces,Woman, for the chronicle but the story kept scorching the page it was written on! She was all like "HOLY ... more
LOL!!! I honestly didn't like it. I thought it was empty to be honest and not my usual fare. I mean compared to say "Sharing is Caring" or even the romantic, "A Dream to Build a Life On" where they are more character driven with more details.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
OK so should we give out a gift card or two?
03/12/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
yes, please
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
am I the only one who would pay money to see Airen poke Sam hardcore??? Anyone???
If there's money involved.....hell I'd do it for free!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I'm very much hoping to have more of a chance to read everybody's submissions and, *gasp* even submit some of my own in the coming months now that I'll be leaving and probably will have a lot more free time. Or at least time to enjoy the site more.
YAY!!! It'll be great to see more of your Pretty face around here!!!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I was just about to poke you hardcore and hope that you will be able to join in a bit as a regular member. <-----me chasing you down!
LOL.

Yes! Please do chase me down and keep after me. I might disappear for a little while as I rediscover the outdoors and a social life, but just keep after me and I'll do everything I can to participate. I never mind being chased by you
03/12/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
If there's money involved.....hell I'd do it for free!
sigh.... that's good because I am actually broke...
03/12/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Thank-you Destri! I am glad you liked "A Man's Point of View". Writing from a man's point of view is harder than I originally thought!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
YAY!!! It'll be great to see more of your Pretty face around here!!!
More of it? I'm all over the forums as it is!! lol.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
Thank-you Destri! I am glad you liked "A Man's Point of View". Writing from a man's point of view is harder than I originally thought!
oh, I know! I have tried. You did a great job.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
OK so I decided early on that I would give one card to someone who was brave enough to actually write on the 'lesson topic'. Since that means myself and Destri there's no challenge!

Congo-Ratz Destri!


Now the other card....how should I choose the winner?
03/12/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
If there's money involved.....hell I'd do it for free!
Oh my god, lol.

My friend is rolling his eyes at this conversation lol.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Woo hoo! Thanks!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Oh my god, lol.

My friend is rolling his eyes at this conversation lol.
Is not....he's all excited right now....
03/12/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
OK so I decided early on that I would give one card to someone who was brave enough to actually write on the 'lesson topic'. Since that means myself and Destri there's no challenge!Congo-Ratz Destri!Now the other card....how should I ... more
Congrats Destri!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
OK on to the lesson portion! LOL What a meeting.

Can you see how using the First Person Narrative seems to make the story much more one dimensional? The author must work very hard to remember that this is a happening told only from one perspective, that of the character being featured. Since we cannot know what the others in the story are thinking and feeling, (if the story line doesn't include empaths!) we are left with a very one sided view of what happened or is happening. Our next subject is Second Person Narrative and it is even MORE restrictive and difficult to maintain in a full short story.

Without being able to answer the questions we have about the other people and the other things they see, feel and hear it is much harder to fill out a story.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Is not....he's all excited right now....
Why isn't he shopping the site??? LOL!!!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Is not....he's all excited right now....
Lol. He was all "I should not be in this conversation!!!!"
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
That being said it's important to understand when a strong First person narrative can be helpful and enrich a longer work OR take a full length story and make it a short one.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
OK on to the lesson portion! LOL What a meeting.

Can you see how using the First Person Narrative seems to make the story much more one dimensional? The author must work very hard to remember that this is a happening told only from one ... more
okay, can you give me an example of a line or two written in second person narrative? Just so I know what is going on....
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Lol. He was all "I should not be in this conversation!!!!"
MMmmhmmm I always answer my guys that they shouldn't be in the conversation OR in pants...but then I am a hornball
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
okay, can you give me an example of a line or two written in second person narrative? Just so I know what is going on....
As it happens I can! LOL

Second Person Narrative is very difficult to maintain and fairly under used in literature. It involves turning the listener/reader into a participant in the story. It uses "you" as the focal point perspective and attempts to bind the reader to the plot line and draw them into the story in a very intricate and personal way.
This style can be difficult to handle but can place the reader in unfamiliar situations and the author can then explain what the reader should be feeling at that moment to better evoke the response the author is hoping to convey. It can be used to instruct the reader to imagine a scene from a first person perspective with a series of imperative statements. It can be effective but is normally reserved for parts of a work rather than being the total focus of a story. Second Person Narrative is most heavily used in poetry and song lyrics as well as instructive writing.
Second person Narrative can be used in all tenses: Past, present and future. For example: You did that, you are doing this, and soon enough you will start doing that!
Think of this perspective as building a recipe with your reader. You list the ingredients needed, instruct the reader how to combine them and then describe what the product should look, feel, taste like. In this perspective you are telling the reader what they should think and feel, know and remember. It is a powerful tool it just takes practice to perfect.

OKOK It's more than a few sentences but you get the idea.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
MMmmhmmm I always answer my guys that they shouldn't be in the conversation OR in pants...but then I am a hornball
Lol
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Second person narrative (it's very rare to use a perspective since we aren't actually a telepathic race and can't really know what someone else is seeing. This perspective is limited in that manner) is more of an instruction to the reader to make them feel what we want them to feel.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Second person narrative (it's very rare to use a perspective since we aren't actually a telepathic race and can't really know what someone else is seeing. This perspective is limited in that manner) is more of an instruction to the reader ... more
It's also usually a good way to make them feel like they're part of the story. At least to me anyway, I've always felt like the "You did this" stories were telling me what I did or whatever, and that made it easier for me to slip into that role.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
(I have returned from being kicked right off the site) I do get it, I think. And it seems HARD! You are a cruel taskmistress, Airen!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
It's also usually a good way to make them feel like they're part of the story. At least to me anyway, I've always felt like the "You did this" stories were telling me what I did or whatever, and that made it easier for me to slip into that role.
Precisely!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
am I the only one who would pay money to see Airen poke Sam hardcore??? Anyone???
The question begs to be answered. Poking hardcore...does that mean hardcore scene or just hard pkoing. I am sure there are some aids laying around to help with the first.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
The question begs to be answered. Poking hardcore...does that mean hardcore scene or just hard pkoing. I am sure there are some aids laying around to help with the first.
Oh dear!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
The question begs to be answered. Poking hardcore...does that mean hardcore scene or just hard pkoing. I am sure there are some aids laying around to help with the first.
I imagined thrusting in a very hard and sweaty way, personally... but that is just me...
03/12/2012