The New Intimacy

Guys....your wife comes home one day and.....

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
...after years of not being interested in anal sex at all, she strips, kisses you, hands you a bottle of "anal lube" (which obviously she bought..since you didn't) and says, in plain, deep, no question about it, language..."I want you to fuck me in the ass tonight".

This just happened to a friend of mine (not someone in our dinner group), and he is both happy and freaked out. He has been married to this lady for nine years. It is a second marriage for them both.

He brought up anal ages ago and was rebuffed and told "I don't want anything going on back there". She would not even let him touch her anus, and now, one night, she wants anal sex? (He did, indeed, "fuck her butt"...full penetration, that night).

He asked her, "what changed your mind", and her response was, "I was curious". She said she enjoys it and wants it again.

He does not know if she is having an affair and someone else introduced her to anal (she seems very good for a novice), or if something else is going on. He is honestly freaked and I sure don't know what to tell him.

Any of you ever had anything remotely like this happen??? Any idea of what you would do, or what I should suggest to this fellow?

Mr. Bignuf.
11/11/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Perceptive forum discussions on Anal Sex:

How do I make anal part of our routine?
So my husband and I have only had anal sex once, a long time ago before we were even married. We would both like to make it part of our normal...

Anal sex pain
My partner likes anal sex and it hurts me and i need advice to make the pain less or none at all, any techniques?

Do you alter your diet in order to have anal sex?
I tend to eat a lot of vegetables in order to keep my colon nice and happy. And to have regular full bowel movements. Does anybody else do this?

Do you have any unexplained sexual hang ups?
The idea for this question came from a female EF member who answered one of my past questions. She said she had had and enjoyed anal sex with past...

Paris Sex Shop...way, WAY more anal sex toys, devices then most US shops.
When in a Paris France sex shop, I noticed two whole walls dedicated to anal sex toys. This was not in a gay area to my understanding. I believe the..
11/11/2012
Contributor: Gallowraven Gallowraven
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
...after years of not being interested in anal sex at all, she strips, kisses you, hands you a bottle of "anal lube" (which obviously she bought..since you didn't) and says, in plain, deep, no question about it, language..."I want ... more
I know Im not a guy, and your question was aimed at guys. Now, on to my response. Before I ever let a guy go in the back-door, I played solo, to first see if I would even like something back there, and secondly to learn what to expect so I could relax. of course, back then I didn't have google, all I had was a classic vibe, and my curiosity.

it wasn't until I learned that it was a surprisingly common practice, that I ever mentioned it to anyone. So I guess what I am getting at is that it may have taken that long for her to develop the curiosity, exploration, and finally initiate.
11/12/2012
Contributor: no longer here no longer here
This makes us chuckle. We are both on our second marriages. Mr told Mrs that he really enjoyed giving anal sex and her response was NO WAY! exit only!

Mr respected that and didn't bring it up again. The subject would come up from time to time, when it did Mrs would say no! But...

Mrs was researching, it had made her curious, do women really like this? She talked to a few friends, the ones you can REALLY trust, looked up stuff online and then...

One morning, she pretty much said the same thing. Mr was shocked.

So...that's our take. We think he should take her at her word. If it's something he said he liked, or wanted to try, then she probably got interested and curious because of that. At least in our experience.
11/12/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Well not exactly - but something similar. After 23 years of saying no - she finally agreed to try - and since then has initiated it a few times. I still don't think she's getting a ton of pleasure from it - but I think she's experienced enough pleasure to keep trying to see where it leads.
11/12/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Perhaps speaking with people she trusted or doing some research has opened her eyes to the possibility of it being pleasurable. She could have been exploring her own body, or wanted to spice things up for her man. Perhaps SHE was concerned that she wasn't doing enough for him and wanted to pull out a new trick for him.

Just because it came on like that, doesn't necessarily mean that she's cheated on him before. Different people feel comfortable with different things at different times. It could have been as simple as watching a TV show or reading Cosmo. I wouldn't look so far into it, if I were him.
11/12/2012
Contributor: Two Grand Two Grand
I met this lady on a vacation and we got together and had sex when we got back home I called her and asked if it was only a one time thing or could we get together again, we agreed to meet at a motel away from the city, and after another night of good sex, we left about a month later she called and wanted a repeat performance, once again same place same time, she told me she was married and this would be the last time, when we got into bed she asked me if I would do her anally, Isaid Ok she loved it and told me her husband would noy do anal with her. for the next year every two weeks we had repeats of only anal sex.
11/13/2012
Contributor: Luca77 Luca77
I'm far too young to have anything so interesting happen. However, that does sound a bit freaky (pardon the pun) and I suppose my advice would be that he should be aware of any further changes in her. Good judgment should do the rest if he remains mindful of the entire picture.
11/14/2012
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Yeah, it can happen. Before having anal the "surprised" partner should make sure that the receiver is really ready and has played around a bit, but I'd say don't worry. She wanted to try something new and got up the nerve to do it.
11/15/2012