After looking through the forums, I couldn't find anything really answering all of my questions here.

First of all, do any of you dislike or not want oral sex? If so, do you have a reason why (that you are willing to share)?

What has brought this question to mind is that I am at a state where I have decline oral on MANY occasions. I used to just NOT want it. It sounded awkward and didn't seem like I could really get off with it. Years passed and I have realized that I find myself thinking about it and deep inside I kind of want it.

Part of me is still saying "NOOOOO" and I wonder to myself... Did I ingrain this idea in my head that I don't want it. Am I still thinking this because of how I felt before? Something inside maybe telling me to stick to my guns? Part of me feels like I am just shy about it. I LOVE showering the other person with attention and worshiping them orally, but the thought of someone cramming their face down there on me just seems so strange. I'm not exactly worried about taste or smell. I just feel like... I don't want that much attention focused on me.

Maybe it's a physical thing, perhaps emotional. I want to know if anyone else feels the same way and has this same conflict. I am also willing to take advice or suggestions from others. Maybe there's a reason I haven't thought of. I would love to just let go, be free and say "yes". WHAT IS KEEPING ME FROM DOING THIS??? I know it's just something in the back of my mind, but I can't put my finger on it. Thanks in advance!