would you tell your partner they dont preform oral sex good?

Contributor: JADE76 JADE76
i have wanted to telll my partner that id rather he not preform oral on me but dont want to hurt his feelings
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
yes i would tell the person they dont do a good job on oral
Hallmar82 , Trysexual , SecretKinksters , BrittaniMaree , Sbmsvschoolgirl , sexyscreenname , AnneKimCA , married with children , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , MrWishyWashy , LovesAPoet , Nezzie13 , eri86 , *Camoprincess* , edeneve , Bri9 , charmedtomeetyou , TJax , Ciao. , bayosgirl , Kodie
21  (70%)
no wouldnt say anything so i dont hurt there feelings
Beautiful-Disaster , Pierced Blaqk Skies , Hummingbird , Feisty , Cosmonaut , SMichelle , PropertyOfPotter , JADE76 , SoloJoe
9  (30%)
Total votes: 30
Poll is closed
05/24/2013
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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05/24/2013
Contributor: Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
I don't think I'd say anything if they weren't good at it... I wouldn't wanna hurt their feelings.. I just wouldn't let them do it to me anymore.
05/24/2013
Contributor: libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by JADE76
i have wanted to telll my partner that id rather he not preform oral on me but dont want to hurt his feelings
maybe not so bluntly, maybe just offer suggestions
05/24/2013
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Yes and no, you need to let them know but not in a way that will hurt their feelings. I suggest strongly encouraging anything you like the next time they are going down on you by moaningloadly or cooing. Then, tell them exactly what you want and how you want it. If they start doing something wrong, say "Do this" instead. You'll tell them they aren't doing it right without being hurtful.

Also, I hate to be that guy but *well*
05/24/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
Yes and would show them how I like it.
05/24/2013
Contributor: SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
Quote:
Originally posted by Trysexual
Yes and would show them how I like it.
Exactly! Why waste each others time if it's not working?
05/24/2013
Contributor: oneeyedoctopus oneeyedoctopus
I tell him what exactly about oral from him I do and don't like. I make suggestions about how I might like it better. We're learning. I'd like him to get better.
05/24/2013
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
yes i would tell the person they don't do a good job on oral but would be very sweet about it maybe guide him slowly and talk sexy to him show him I like what he is doing
05/24/2013
Contributor: Sbmsvschoolgirl Sbmsvschoolgirl
Tell him what you like, guide him while he's going down on you. Maybe you can help him perform better and then both of you can enjoy it more.
05/24/2013
Contributor: Pierced Blaqk Skies Pierced Blaqk Skies
I said no because I wouldn't be so blunt. If my partner is doing something I don't quite like when performing oral, I tell him "hey, do this because it feels really good" and stuff like that.

*He's awesome at oral though so it's rare that I have to give him pointers. The only time I do is when it's just too intense. :x
05/24/2013
Contributor: married with children married with children
I would tell them what works and what does not work. I would not come out and say that they suck (pun intended) at oral, that would hurt their feelings for sure.
05/24/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
No, but I would discuss outside of sex of other things we could try and have in fact emailed stom Sexis articles to my partner after asking if he's reading it first.
05/24/2013
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I would not be rude about it, but would offer some suggestions and if they can't meet them then I will just have them not do it.
05/24/2013
Contributor: MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
I would offer some suggestions on what feels good to you and see if they can stand up to the challenge/advice.
05/24/2013
Contributor: Feisty Feisty
I would not say that he is not good at it. Instead I would suggest different things that he could try on you, and express what feels good and what you like most.
05/24/2013
Contributor: Cosmonaut Cosmonaut
I don't think I would say anything.
05/24/2013
Contributor: Nezzie13 Nezzie13
Quote:
Originally posted by Hallmar82
Yes and no, you need to let them know but not in a way that will hurt their feelings. I suggest strongly encouraging anything you like the next time they are going down on you by moaningloadly or cooing. Then, tell them exactly what you want and ... more
"Also, I hate to be that guy but "well"

Oh I am right there with you
05/24/2013
Contributor: Nezzie13 Nezzie13
I would, not in a rude or insensitive manner though. My partner's very focused on finding ways to please me (I went into the relationship thinking I was anorgasmic. He called BS and proceeds to prove it every chance he gets...), so he expects feedback from me. Telling him what I like has allowed him to get better at pushing my button(s).
05/24/2013
Contributor: eri86 eri86
Don't say he's bad at it, just let him know that what he's doing isn't working for you. Then start figuring out together was does work.
05/24/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
OK - so the missing 'other'. There is no need to embarrass or demean your partner. Simply help them to learn how to do it better. Give them cues about what you like and reward them with a groan or two when they get it right!

Remember the adage about 'honey'?
05/25/2013
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
I would let them know what they were doing wasn't getting me where I needed to be. I give pointers on things I like or don't like. Luckily I have only had 2 or so partners who didn't perform oral very well.
05/25/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
yes, & I've said it in non direct ways such as asking for what I want or to stop what he was doing.
05/25/2013
Contributor: mdnght mdnght
I wouldn't say it directly: Maybe give them some directions about what I'd like while they're down there.
05/25/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I wouldn't tell them they were doing a bad job, but I would help guide them into something that worked better.
05/25/2013
Contributor: Bri9 Bri9
I feel that there should be communication between two people (or more). If you feel that your partner is not performing oral sex properly then he/she should know. You dont have to be an a*shole when you tell them but you can tell them in a more gentle way and provide suggestions on how to make it better.
05/25/2013
Contributor: charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
I wouldn't phrase it rudely, but yes, I would tell them. What is the alternative? Faking that you like it? No thanks. I would rather say that it isn't working and make suggestions of things I know I like.
05/25/2013
Contributor: TJax TJax
Maybe not in so many words, but I would direct a girl to give it better, until she learns to do it in a way I enjoy.
05/26/2013
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
OK - so the missing 'other'. There is no need to embarrass or demean your partner. Simply help them to learn how to do it better. Give them cues about what you like and reward them with a groan or two when they get it right!

Remember ... more
Exactly. Each of us like something just a little different. Giving instruction on how to do it the way that I like it, just makes sense.
05/26/2013
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
If you're not enjoying oral from your partner maybe it would be better to try and talk through some ways that would help you enjoy it more rather than just asking them to stop performing it on you, period.

If you really just don't enjoy receiving oral at all that's a different matter, but why not work with the situation?
06/03/2013