An Oral Sex Mystery! An Oral Sextery!

Contributor: Meeg Meeg
My partner and I have been together for eight years. In those eight years, I can count the amount of times I've got him off with my mouth on one hand. I try and I try different tactics, but it just doesn't seem to work and he doesn't have any advice for me.

He claims that the two other times he had head before we met both girls bit him, so he is sort of anxious even though it feels really good. He also tells me he is usually really close but he just can't get over the edge and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm starting to wonder if this is maybe the male equivalent of faking an orgasm?

My question is, do you have an advice for a girl that really -really- wants to please her man and just doesn't seem to be having much luck on the oral front, with a man that is not much help in telling what he wants? I know he would be the person to ask, but he hasn't been too helpful. :[

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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Useful topic breakdown on Oral sex enhancers:

Cumming on you?
I hate when my man pulls out and wants to cum somewhere on my body. I hate having to clean it off my skin, hate the texture on my skin, I simply do...

Have you used a masturbator for oral?
Just wondered if anyone else has tried this-thought I'd put it out there for those you that want to try something new My husband has one of those

Best Unflavored Lube for Oral Sex?
I have a JO H2O lube that I love using, but I wish it weren't flavored. I love chocolate, but I happen to enjoy the taste of my partner very much, and

How would you react if your partner decided he/she never wanted to receive oral?
They will still give it, they just don't want any reciprocation.

Deep throat, handjob, or both?
I am wodering what is the preference between the options
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
My husband was in the same boat until just a few months ago. I told him that giving him oral was something I truly enjoyed doing, but I didn't do it often because I felt as though it wasn't something he really cared for since he rarely (like twice in 17 years) orgasmed from it. I told him it was something I felt bad about because doing that for him was something I thoroughly enjoyed, but got the feeling he didn't. I asked if I could change my techniques add things do anything differently, etc. I told him things I'd always wanted to do, and asked if he would let me. He said he would try to be more open.

Once he realized how I felt about it, he was able to open up and explore what was stopping him from allowing me to blow him to completion.

He discovered he was always holding back because he has issue with getting off before me or without me getting mine. Once he was finally able to totally relax, realized that I was still be horny after he blew his load and he could get me off after and once he finally let me play and let me be in control, he had no issues.

I am very happy to report this is no longer an issue in our house! I am so glad I talked to him about it. I am sure he feels the same way too.

I wish you lots of luck on this issue. Talk to him and tell him how you feel about it.
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
I sadly have no words of wisdom, but I can sympathize. My significant other doesn't really like oral. He doesn't cum from it, and it's just not something he really enjoys. He would rather have PIV sex over oral.

I, on the other hand, like giving oral. I so wish I could make him cum from it. *sigh*

Maybe this needs some reflection on his (that is, your partner's) part. Perhaps it's not the technique that's the problem, but his mental blockage of releasing his anxiety and stress about oral.
Contributor: mama2007 mama2007
Originally posted by Meeg
My partner and I have been together for eight years. In those eight years, I can count the amount of times I've got him off with my mouth on one hand. I try and I try different tactics, but it just doesn't seem to work and he doesn't have ... more
we do not use any lube; that is one reason i ALWAYS unless on rare occassion, give my husband oral before having intercourse.
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I know how you feel - but I wouldn't fret about it too much, there are so many other alternatives. My story is that although I once considered myself quite accomplished at cunnilingus - somewhere along the way my wife stopped having orgasms that way.

I believe its related to our use of toys and aging. My tongue can simply not compete with a vibe.

For a long time I just stopped doing it. Then she started shaving her vulva and I could no longer restrain myself. She now enjoys the feeling very much - but not to orgasm. I'm Ok with that - we both get what we want.

I recognize that your case is different - but maybe looking at it from another perspective is useful.
Contributor: Howells Howells
Try using your hand sometimes and have a break while you are doing it. Kiss him for one minute while stroking then come back. I had these sessions sometimes when no matter what she does I just can't come. Like for an hour! Ask him if he is relaxed and by any means flexing his pc muscle. That is a two edged sword sometimes it's good but it can make things terribly bad. Some guys don't even know about what it does.
Contributor: meitman meitman
In my own humble perspective, it's ok not to finish during oral. My wife gives me oral every time we have sex because it's our all time favorite sexual activity. She loves giving me oral almost as much as I love getting it, but it doesn't bother me to not finish from it. It doesn't mean I enjoyed it any less. For some reason it just has to be the right moment for me to finish that way. If he's happy with it I wouldn't worry about it.