Advice please help!!

Contributor: 2hot2handle 2hot2handle
So I am ssooo completely new to this all of this....in fact all my knowledge of sex is from movies, books, word of mouth and my boyfriend. I probably wouldnt even be writing this if it wasn't anonymous... lately I want to try new things but I dont even know where to begin!! It's so much, I kinda feel overwhelmed. I know I need to explore "me" as cliche as that sounds so I have a grasp of what I like, etc.
I have had an orgasm but never two so I'm always feeling like the odd woman out whenever I hear or read about women have two or three or even four orgasms during sex... Then there is the toys...I dont know where to begin, how do I know if I will like it??? There are ssoo many options.

My boyfriend is up for anything I'm willing to try but I really dont want to base my decisions on his wants so asking him is kinda out of the question, for now...he can get his turn later. lol

If anyone can offer some advice I would gladly listen.
10/13/2011
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Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by 2hot2handle
So I am ssooo completely new to this all of this....in fact all my knowledge of sex is from movies, books, word of mouth and my boyfriend. I probably wouldnt even be writing this if it wasn't anonymous... lately I want to try new things but I ... more
If you feel like the odd woman out because you have only orgasmed once during the act of sex rather then multiple times, then I must be an alien I have not orgasmed during sex unless there was clitoral stimulation involved... So don't feel like the odd one!

I suggest browsing through a few toys you are interested in, and reading the reviews. The reviews are quite helpful, and a lot of them will say if they recommend the product for beginners, or more advanced (or both). The reviews also typically will tell you if the product has a lot of girth (thickness), vibrations are strong/weak, etc. I think it would be helpful for you.

Good luck hun!
10/13/2011
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
I recommend looking at the best sellers here. There's a reason why many other people have bought those products. Hopefully, they'll work for you too.
10/13/2011
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I understand where you are coming from and I am still overwhelmed at all the toys EF has to offer as well. But that was the reason I came here to find what my body responds well to. I still don't know what I like. It's trial and error for most. I recommend checking out the top sellers and reading the reviews written. Good reviewers don't sugarcoat something, they will tell you straight up don't waste your money on this or this is the best product on the earth and give you reasons behind this.
10/13/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
There's some good advice here already. Most of us can tell you what we like, but only you can figure out what you like. Having more than one orgasm during sex isn't a commonplace thing, and you're not broken or wrong if you can only have one, that's just how things are. A lot of women also need clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex. Again, nothing wrong with that either.

I'd definitely check out some of the top sellers and read reviews, and maybe invest in a small bullet or two, something to give you an idea of the kinds of vibrations you might like. Nothing sucks quite like getting a super expensive toy only to find out that you don't like it. The only way to find out what you do and don't like is to start experimenting. Don't get hung up on something not working for you either. You're going to enjoy some things, and even some things you never thought you would, but there are others that you just might not be that fond of. It's happened to all of us, and it's not the end of the world, it's a learning experience. Best of luck on your journey!
10/13/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
For sure, you should start by getting some smaller, cheap things so that you can learn what you like. The two I would recommend are the Seduction by Evolved and the Waterwhirl by California Exotics. They're both great toys for great prices, are waterproof, and are made of sturdy plastic. I have videos up showing both of the toys, and their sizes, so that might help you decide if they look good for you!
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10/13/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I have found, most women, whom I know, did not become multi-orgasmic until they were well into their 30s or 40s, but some never do.

Don't worry about that. Just rejoice in being able to achieve any! There are some who can't at all.

We have found the addition of toys to be exciting and there are some many options that we have had a blast figuring out what works and what doesn't for us.

I hope you embrace the journey and find what works for you too!
10/13/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I'm going to give you some specific things to think about - but please do not feel like you have to answer them here. Its mainly for your benefit.

As I've read through lots and lots of posts I feel like I've noticed a couple of general principles.

Some women can orgasm easier if their clitoris is stimulated. Others seem to need thrusting to orgasm, which I'm assuming means they tend to orgasm through their G-spot versus their clitoris.

The women I've observed that talk about thrusting - seem to prefer dildos while the women who prefer the stimulation of their clitoris seem to prefer vibrators.

Mind you - this is not a scientific study - just little things I've seen here and there.

I'd encourage you to think about when you have had orgasms. Was it from thrusting or from being massaged and stimulated with a finger on your clitoris? This might help you to find a toy that would work for you.

Have you seen that EF offers a free bullet if you sign up for their newsletter? I would encourage you to pay the $5.95 shipping to get it - and here is why.

You can use the bullet to stimulate your clitoris and see how that makes you feel. Since the remote is in your hand and it is simply a dial that goes from soft to strong, you can control the speed, intensity, etc.

If you find that doesn't help - then you can insert the bullet (since it has a cord) and push it up as far as you can (we sometimes have sex with the bullet inside me). Once you've reached your G-spot and can feel it there, try to make a mark on the cord just as it comes out of you - so you know what depth you need for a dildo or vibrator. I would try to measure when you're closer to finishing because you will stretch as you play.

The nice thing about the bullet for me is that it is a nice size to fit inside also and it can help you figure out girth. Is the bullet too large? Then maybe you need to go down a size in girth. Is it too small? Well - maybe then you want to try to get something wider.

I'm dying today waiting for the mailman because we just ordered a vibrator for my G-spot that has a 2" girth. So far, I've mainly been doing 1 1/2" and enjoyed it - but wanted more. It is also longer than our other vibrators.
10/13/2011
Contributor: 2hot2handle 2hot2handle
Thank you everyone for your advice, it has given me alot to think about and to try out. lol Thanks!!!
10/14/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
Awesome advice already here. I recommend bullet or pocket rockets for clitoral stimulation. These are good size for use during intercourse. If you want to use something internally I extremely highly recommend Swell or any other glass toy, she is just my favorite. There is nothing like the feeling of cold glass! Seriously it is amazing. This can be used in with any clitoral vibe to intensify pleasure. If you want a intense clitoral vibrator, I recommend Massager!

Have fun exploring and finding what you like.
10/14/2011