I think my best advice would be don't have expectations of it being amazing or magical or anything that your sex life isn't normally. In fact, you might even decide NOT to have sex your first night together again, just to relieve that pressure.

Have you 2 spoken about your anxiety? That might go a long way to relieving some of it. If you can both talk about what exactly is making you feel nervous, and how you can work around it, that might help a lot.

Best wishes!! less

It will be OK. I'm so glad he's coming home.

I know a lot of freinds whose men were deployed at one point or an other and all of them felt like they needed a "get reaquainted date." They felt exactly like you did. It's not just the amount of time, it's also that you probably didn't know how long he was going to be gone, didn't know what was going on, the Armed Forces doesn't always keep wives, not to mention fiancees up to date with things, as they often don't know themselves.

May I suggest a nice Date Night. Maybe a few glasses of wine with dinner (if you drink) or not, depending, talk a lot, listen to what he has to say, because sometimes these men have seen things (especially if they've been in the Middle East) that they may not want to talk about right away. If he doesn't want to talk about it right away, don't push him. He needs to decompress after the stress of the military, and your job is to be there for him and be strong and a good listener and to let him know he's wanted and loved. Men are often afraid their women have moved on while they were gone and this can lead to a lot of reticence on his part at first. Let him know you really missed him and are glad he is here.

It may take a few days to get reacquainted, but I do advice having sex ASAP, (well, I would) but you play it by ear and see what works.

Let him talk. He needs you to listen and he probably feels more nervous than you do.

A month from now or less you two will be as you were before.

Good luck. less

My husband recently went out of town for four days. I was miserable. It was the first time we had been apart in years and I thought I was going to burst at the seams when he walked through our door. A month is a very long time to be away from someone. And when you're 23, a month seems like an eternity anyway. less

Well said, P'Gell. Coming home from deployment, especially if it's his first, is very much like shell shock. Minute things have changed that we here at home might not have paid much notice to be but it will stick out like a sore thumb to him. His tastes may have changed, his outlook will have definitely undergone a transformation and it takes a minute to get the bearings back.

When my brother came back from his tour overseas with the Marines, he was a completely different person and we had to remember everything that he may have seen or been a part of and how much of it we were allowed to know and what he simply held back due to his own fears of rejection we'll never know, but he was definitely a changed man. less