How do I get him to want to have sex as much as me?!

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How do I get him to want to have sex as much as me?!

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Contributor: lele lele
My bf and I used to have sex ALL the time, now we go 1 - 2 weeks without. He used to be crazy about my body, and wanted to have sex everyday, and so did I. I still want to, but he seems to have lost interest when I got pregnant.
My baby is 6 months old now, and I am almost back in shape. I don't think he is not attracted to me, and he's not cheating or anything; I think he is just bored.
I still want to have with him sex everyday.. he often turns me dow, even for bjs! GAHhh
How do I get him to want me just the same?!
06/04/2012
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Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Have you talked to him about this? There are so many reasons for his behavior, it's hard to give any good advice without knowing more about what's going on with him. So many things can affect sex drive, stress, lack of sleep, change in medication, etc. The first step is talking to him about it to figure out what is going on. Once you know the whys, it's easier to know what step to take next.

Best wishes!
06/04/2012
Contributor: ValerieRayne ValerieRayne
If you ever figure this one out, let me know! I think all relationships tend to go through these ruts, especially once babies are in the picture. It's taken 2 years since we had our last baby for our sex drives to even come close to matching, and I'd still say that I could use it a heck of a lot more. I seem to be way more interested than he does.

Really, @indiglo is right. You need to sit down and talk about it. Not talking about it just makes things worse. I remember going over to my Mom's and bawling my eyes out because he didn't seem to want to have sex and certainly not the kind of sex I wanted to have. It was horrendously depressing for me. (Note that I have also not gotten back into shape after four babies...)

But really, it could be any number of different things. Maybe he's just tired, maybe he's not getting enough of some sort of nutrient in his diet, maybe sex just isn't on his mind. You'll never know unless you ask, though I can't say that this will solve everything. But at least you'll know how to navigate better.

I wish you luck. And just remember, you are most definitely not alone in this situation. I feel the same way you do!
06/04/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
It goes both ways - it took more than 10 years after our last for my wife's libido to get anywhere near where it was when we first married. You really get the feeling they see sex as a chore - and that becomes a mood killer as well.

Luckily she has mostly gotten over it - but those years can never be replaced.
06/05/2012