I am in a quandary. I have met a guy who has been actively perusing me for sex and I think I am going to take the plunge and break my 19 month celibacy streak. Like a typical over-thinker I have been obsessing about it. I want our first time to be amazing because I want him to keep coming back for more. I mean it's been NINETEEN MONTHS. I don't want to wake the beast only to have to force it back into it's cave.
The thing that concerns me most is that even though I am very selective about who I have sex with, I am fairly liberated once I get in the bedroom. I am open to a lot of things and don't mind if things get kinky. I don't think I am uber kinky, though. Honestly, the things I am into are nothing you wouldn't see in an average porn. Still, I live in a very conservative part of the country and most of my sex partners in the past have not been able to handle my sex drive, or my porn-star tendencies in the sack. The rejection from men who can't deal with a woman who likes and is enthusiastic about sex is so painful and bitter it has contributed largely to why I have been celibate for so long. I just don't want to go through that again.
So I'm torn. Have sex and hold back hoping it's ok enough that he'll keep coming back and slowly reveal my dirty girl self, or let loose, be myself, and hope for the best?
The thing that concerns me most is that even though I am very selective about who I have sex with, I am fairly liberated once I get in the bedroom. I am open to a lot of things and don't mind if things get kinky. I don't think I am uber kinky, though. Honestly, the things I am into are nothing you wouldn't see in an average porn. Still, I live in a very conservative part of the country and most of my sex partners in the past have not been able to handle my sex drive, or my porn-star tendencies in the sack. The rejection from men who can't deal with a woman who likes and is enthusiastic about sex is so painful and bitter it has contributed largely to why I have been celibate for so long. I just don't want to go through that again.
So I'm torn. Have sex and hold back hoping it's ok enough that he'll keep coming back and slowly reveal my dirty girl self, or let loose, be myself, and hope for the best?
