This poll is as it sounds. The example I'm going to pose is: partner #1 wants sex hard and rough and partner #2 doesn't do it, even after being told it's how they(partner #1) like it and they(partner #2) won't hurt them.
Should a partner go outside of their comfort zones to satisfy their partner during sex (within reason)?
11/16/2011
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I find these things really depend.
If partner 2 is refusing because they "just aren't that into it" or "don't feel like it" then they're selfish and should suck it up and do it. If they don't, then partner 1 should leave them and find someone who enjoys what they enjoy.
If partner 2 is refusing because there's something about it that really turns them off or makes them uncomfortable and always will (I will never be into piss play, for example) then partner 1 needs to decide whether it's worth it. Compatibility is a big deal. If it's something that they will never feel fully sexual fulfilled without having in their sex life and your partner will never feel comfortable or good about doing it, then something has to give.
I'm totally of the opinion that you should TRY to please your partner, be up to new experiences, all that. Most of the time in popular culture, the one who wants more sex or sex of a different kind is the one presented as the bad guy. In many more sex-positive communities, an overcorrection occurs where the person who doesn't want to do other things is the bad guy. This simply isn't true and I think it can sometimes shame people for wanting to say no to things they don't enjoy and aren't comfortable with. Everyone should be able to say no and everyone should be able to ask for things they want.
If partner 2 is refusing because they "just aren't that into it" or "don't feel like it" then they're selfish and should suck it up and do it. If they don't, then partner 1 should leave them and find someone who enjoys what they enjoy.
If partner 2 is refusing because there's something about it that really turns them off or makes them uncomfortable and always will (I will never be into piss play, for example) then partner 1 needs to decide whether it's worth it. Compatibility is a big deal. If it's something that they will never feel fully sexual fulfilled without having in their sex life and your partner will never feel comfortable or good about doing it, then something has to give.
I'm totally of the opinion that you should TRY to please your partner, be up to new experiences, all that. Most of the time in popular culture, the one who wants more sex or sex of a different kind is the one presented as the bad guy. In many more sex-positive communities, an overcorrection occurs where the person who doesn't want to do other things is the bad guy. This simply isn't true and I think it can sometimes shame people for wanting to say no to things they don't enjoy and aren't comfortable with. Everyone should be able to say no and everyone should be able to ask for things they want.
11/16/2011
I think people should be willing to try things at least once. Even if you just try for a rougher than normally and than next time try rougher than that and eventually build up really really rough I would think that's even a fair thing to at least try
11/17/2011
Quote:
You worded this a lot better than I could have, and expressed pretty much the same sentiments I would have.
Originally posted by
Cherrylane
I find these things really depend.
If partner 2 is refusing because they "just aren't that into it" or "don't feel like it" then they're selfish and should suck it up and do it. If they don't, then partner ... more
If partner 2 is refusing because they "just aren't that into it" or "don't feel like it" then they're selfish and should suck it up and do it. If they don't, then partner ... more
I find these things really depend.
If partner 2 is refusing because they "just aren't that into it" or "don't feel like it" then they're selfish and should suck it up and do it. If they don't, then partner 1 should leave them and find someone who enjoys what they enjoy.
If partner 2 is refusing because there's something about it that really turns them off or makes them uncomfortable and always will (I will never be into piss play, for example) then partner 1 needs to decide whether it's worth it. Compatibility is a big deal. If it's something that they will never feel fully sexual fulfilled without having in their sex life and your partner will never feel comfortable or good about doing it, then something has to give.
I'm totally of the opinion that you should TRY to please your partner, be up to new experiences, all that. Most of the time in popular culture, the one who wants more sex or sex of a different kind is the one presented as the bad guy. In many more sex-positive communities, an overcorrection occurs where the person who doesn't want to do other things is the bad guy. This simply isn't true and I think it can sometimes shame people for wanting to say no to things they don't enjoy and aren't comfortable with. Everyone should be able to say no and everyone should be able to ask for things they want. less
If partner 2 is refusing because they "just aren't that into it" or "don't feel like it" then they're selfish and should suck it up and do it. If they don't, then partner 1 should leave them and find someone who enjoys what they enjoy.
If partner 2 is refusing because there's something about it that really turns them off or makes them uncomfortable and always will (I will never be into piss play, for example) then partner 1 needs to decide whether it's worth it. Compatibility is a big deal. If it's something that they will never feel fully sexual fulfilled without having in their sex life and your partner will never feel comfortable or good about doing it, then something has to give.
I'm totally of the opinion that you should TRY to please your partner, be up to new experiences, all that. Most of the time in popular culture, the one who wants more sex or sex of a different kind is the one presented as the bad guy. In many more sex-positive communities, an overcorrection occurs where the person who doesn't want to do other things is the bad guy. This simply isn't true and I think it can sometimes shame people for wanting to say no to things they don't enjoy and aren't comfortable with. Everyone should be able to say no and everyone should be able to ask for things they want. less
I think that we should always try our best to please our partners, but that we shouldn't have to do anything we're not comfortable with.
11/17/2011
I feel we should all stay within certain boundaries of what we are comfortable with emotionally and physically. With that said, it still leaves a lot of room for experimenting, trying new things and compromise. When one person wants something a bit out of the normal scope from their usual play, compromise, try it or have a legitimate but tactful reason for not complying. If you can talk it out and come to an understanding, everyone can be happy and the suggestor will not feel like a pervert or bad guy. My husband and I worked through this about 7 years ago, now we have a great toy collection and sexual adventures. I wouldn't have missed it for the world, but I almost did by saying no without thinking about what I was saying no to. Insecurities are vastly different than emotional and physical barriers.
12/09/2011
I agree with Cherrylane. I think it's important to try to take care of our partners sexual needs the best we can, but if it's something that really makes us uncomfortable, both partners need to discuss that and come to an agreement together.
If it's just doing something that isn't your favorite thing to do, but isn't painful or gross to you, it's generally a good idea to put yourself out and do it to please your partner. After all, what goes around comes around!
If it's just doing something that isn't your favorite thing to do, but isn't painful or gross to you, it's generally a good idea to put yourself out and do it to please your partner. After all, what goes around comes around!
12/09/2011
I would definitely be in a situation where a compromise would be made and or other ways to explore sexually.
12/09/2011
Everyone has gived well thought out responses here! I would add that as we continue maturing we find ourselves desiring diffrent things. Our boundries shift and change, expand into new areas and perhaps contract in others. I find myself open to things I said no to years age, and there are some things I used to do that I wouldn't anymore. The important thing is to leave each other room to change and avoid getting locked into a particular stance. A funny cartoon in a psych text book I used to have showed 2 people bending over backwards with their feet and knees touching and it said something like in a relationship you can bend over backwards to please your partner and you can expect your partner to do the same, but it's a really awkward position for f-ing!
12/09/2011
Quote:
In our case we push each other to go a little wilder, do a little crazier and in general always strive to have fun and creative. There are times in the past I have just gone along and after I am always super glad I did.
Originally posted by
Iggins09
This poll is as it sounds. The example I'm going to pose is: partner #1 wants sex hard and rough and partner #2 doesn't do it, even after being told it's how they(partner #1) like it and they(partner #2) won't hurt them.
12/09/2011
Quote:
I wouldn't want my partner forcing me to do something I didn't want to do, so I wouldn't do that to him. It's best to talk about what your partner's concerns are and see if you can work out a compromise.
Originally posted by
Iggins09
This poll is as it sounds. The example I'm going to pose is: partner #1 wants sex hard and rough and partner #2 doesn't do it, even after being told it's how they(partner #1) like it and they(partner #2) won't hurt them.
12/09/2011
Keeping an open mind and sacrificing a little is good for a relationshiP!
12/09/2011
I think compromise is always a great thing but I also think that trying new things with in reason is fantastic. You never know what you'd like until you try it and sometimes you have preconceived notions of something that are gone once the particular thing is attempted.
12/09/2011
Quote:
Please fogive all my typos! I'm not as stupid as I look. Apparently I can't think and type at the same time!
Originally posted by
Gracie
Everyone has gived well thought out responses here! I would add that as we continue maturing we find ourselves desiring diffrent things. Our boundries shift and change, expand into new areas and perhaps contract in others. I find myself open to
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more
Everyone has gived well thought out responses here! I would add that as we continue maturing we find ourselves desiring diffrent things. Our boundries shift and change, expand into new areas and perhaps contract in others. I find myself open to things I said no to years age, and there are some things I used to do that I wouldn't anymore. The important thing is to leave each other room to change and avoid getting locked into a particular stance. A funny cartoon in a psych text book I used to have showed 2 people bending over backwards with their feet and knees touching and it said something like in a relationship you can bend over backwards to please your partner and you can expect your partner to do the same, but it's a really awkward position for f-ing!
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12/09/2011
Definitely compromise!
03/07/2012
Quote:
both should work together
Originally posted by
Iggins09
This poll is as it sounds. The example I'm going to pose is: partner #1 wants sex hard and rough and partner #2 doesn't do it, even after being told it's how they(partner #1) like it and they(partner #2) won't hurt them.
03/07/2012
Compromise makes for great relationships!
03/07/2012
Trying something new is the only way anyone ever figures out they like something new. My hubby always thought anal was gross until I convinced him to try it, now he loves it. You should see his eyes light up when I pull out a plug and some lube. On my end I hated boob sex, I thought it was totally one sided pleasuring but the hubby begged so I said yes, wow I was SO wrong!!
Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zones.
Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zones.
03/07/2012
Compromise
03/08/2012
I say compromise too, unless domination is the particular nature of the relationship.
03/08/2012
Openmindedness is good, but no one should be made to feel uncomfortable. I would love to try pegging with my husband, but he's made it clear he would never go for that (despite my reassurances that I would be gentle, etc) and I respect his decision.
03/08/2012
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 19