Maybe I'm an idiot...

I noticed I had this same problem. It's not the best option, but I just decided to wait it out for the right kind of girl to come along. Most girls were more interested in getting to know and flirt with my partner then myself. This always caused me to back down and act like an awkward teenager again. Maybe it's just me, but girls are just..girls. I know that sounds terrible, but I just don't know how else to word it.

I think women are a little more shy in general. Just try taking it slow and easy. I myself am very intimidated with a very direct approach. I need to know I can be your friend first.

I'm not sure how you come across because obviously I have never spoken to you but women are very different. Some women think nervous guy is cute while others might think its not. In most cases a lot of women usually go for confident guys who don't come off too strong.

HOw old are the girls you are talking about? Only asking because younger girls/women may be more cautious/shy like I was when I was MUCH younger. I got into my mid twenties and it completely changed. I feel like whatever setting I was in made a difference too. I also (even now) feel better meeting and talking to someone on my own,than be introduced, as the conversation can come about gradually, rather than forced. You are NOT an idiot. Just consider your approach, and setting. Good Luck!!

*OPINION ALERT*

There, now that THAT'S out of the way...


This may sound judgmental, and I don't mean for it to. I do think there is a certain type of woman that claims to be bi or gay JUST to get attention from another woman... when in reality they aren't really, they're just doing it for attention. Plus, some girls have jumped on the "it's hip to call yourself bi" bandwagon when they really don't belong there. Then, they get to have fun getting attention from another woman, but if it starts to get to be too much they just jet. Obviously not ALL women who identify as bisexual are like that, but I do think there are some that are thinking that way.

Maybe you've been meeting those kinds of girls more lately?

Conversely, it could just be that you haven't met the right girl yet. I had to talk to, get to know, go out with, etc a TON of people who weren't just right for me before I met my current partner. So maybe it's as simple as that too.

Dating is frustrating, and since the majority of the population identifies as heterosexual, the bisexual and homosexual dating pool is automatically that much smaller. So your experiences are likely to be doubly frustrating in that department.

All in all though, it really doesn't sound like it's you. Try to keep your chin up, your positive attitude and respectful attention will be appreciated by the right girl.

Kind of in the same vein as Indiglo's comment, I think a lot of bi girls are with more men than women. I think this happens for a few reasons a) Like Indiglo says, they call themselves bi because it's popular, hip, attention-getting, sexy to men, or any other reason that translates to them not really being bi, b) guys are easier: more plentiful, more socially acceptable, offer the "picket fence" possibilities, and it's usually easier to find guys who like girls than girls who like girls, c) they are, to whatever degree, more inclined to an attraction to men than women, and other reasons, I'm sure. So, I think a lot of bi girls, the ones who actually are bi, have more practice dating men than dating women, and thus, have more experience flirting with men than with women and more experience having men come on to them and responding to them than they do with women. It's possible that you're just getting women who aren't really into women and, therefore, aren't going to respond well to a woman coming on to them, unless it's a friend who wants to grind on them in a dance club for attention. It's also possible that you're getting women who just don't know how to respond to a woman coming on to them. Or you may be getting inexperienced women who are interested but intimidated or nervous about girls and just don't know how to deal. I'd say to try lesbians since they have more practice flirting with girls but you'll have to sift through the pile of lesbians who won't date bi girls. So, sift through all the fake bi girls and bi girls who don't know how to flirt with other girls, or sift through jaded lesbians. Six in one hand, half a dozen in the other?

I have this problem a lot