I personally think at least a small token is important. I find some who say they don't want to be "forced" to give gifts "because it's a Hallmark Holiday" and then buy their beloved nothing, don't buy or make gifts for the people they love any other time either. I think they are getting a free pass by claiming to "not be conventional." How hard is it to offer a token of your love?
I have a friend who hasn't gotten a gift for any occasion for years. She says it's OK, but I've seen her in tears on her birthday, Christmas, etc.
How damn hard is it to buy a small bouquet of flowers at the grocery store and throw in a box of candy? It takes 10 minutes of your time and yes, is a physical reminder than someone IS thinking of you.
My Man isn't a huge holiday person, but he always gets me something. Yesterday, it was some Fanny May candy and three small bouquets of flowers and a card. It took 15 minutes or less of his time, and I felt cared about, loved and knew he was thinking of me.
I had to take a kid to the doctor yesterday, but I still was able to get him a box of Dots, some Black Crows, some hearts to share with the kids (he got them Fanny May, too) and some beef jerky and a card, (while I was already at the pharmacy) it wasn't hard at all, and he had had a really rough day at work, so it was nice to greet him with a little surprise.
The actual physical gift isn't that important, but yes, to me, the thought, does count.
Mileage and stuff.