Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have never heard of this rule before, and assumed that it was normal to have a shower for each new child. What is your experience?
Featured by EdenFantasys
Multiple Baby Showers: Yay or Nay?
04/17/2013
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04/17/2013
I think it's tacky to have a baby shower for each child. Your friends and family should not be used to finance your choice to breed and to fully stock your new baby's room.
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think it's tacky. If it has been a long time since the last baby (10 years plus) I kind of understand, as long as it's a small shower. People tend to get really irritated by being invited to a baby shower every 18 months for the same woman. (I have a couple of friends who have done this, I only go to the first one. Same with wedding showers...)
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think it's tacky. If it has been a long time since the last baby (10 years plus) I kind of understand, as long as it's a small shower. People tend to get really irritated by being invited to a baby shower every 18 months for the same woman. (I have a couple of friends who have done this, I only go to the first one. Same with wedding showers...)
04/17/2013
I don't have any children but my family members have had them for subsequent children. It seems ridiculous to me to think that later children aren't just as important.
04/17/2013
Quote:
It's not about "important." The first shower is to help a new, struggling family stock up on baby items. If the children are closer than a decade or less together, she will still have T Shirts, onesies, a crib, bedding, clothes etc.
Originally posted by
Sera26
I don't have any children but my family members have had them for subsequent children. It seems ridiculous to me to think that later children aren't just as important.
I don't feel like it's my family's responsibility to fund my decision to breed. I had a shower with my FIRST baby. Of course, people close to my husband and I gave some gifts with subsequent children, but some people think an invite to a shower is an obligation to give a gift. (it really isn't)
Giving a gift when instructed to (which is what a shower is) has nothing to do with the "importance" of the baby. Spending time with the mother, father and the baby show you think the baby is important, not physical goods.
04/17/2013
Quote:
Interesting! I haven't been to a shower since I was about 11 and I guess I never really thought of them as a way to get gifts, but just as parties to celebrate that you were having a baby. Obviously everyone would bring gifts, I just never saw that as the main reason that the party was held!
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I think it's tacky to have a baby shower for each child. Your friends and family should not be used to finance your choice to breed and to fully stock your new baby's room.
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think ... more
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think ... more
I think it's tacky to have a baby shower for each child. Your friends and family should not be used to finance your choice to breed and to fully stock your new baby's room.
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think it's tacky. If it has been a long time since the last baby (10 years plus) I kind of understand, as long as it's a small shower. People tend to get really irritated by being invited to a baby shower every 18 months for the same woman. (I have a couple of friends who have done this, I only go to the first one. Same with wedding showers...) less
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think it's tacky. If it has been a long time since the last baby (10 years plus) I kind of understand, as long as it's a small shower. People tend to get really irritated by being invited to a baby shower every 18 months for the same woman. (I have a couple of friends who have done this, I only go to the first one. Same with wedding showers...) less
04/17/2013
I'm not really sure why it matters how many baby showers someone has. If you're not a fan, don't show up or don't buy them something, seems pretty simple.
04/17/2013
I always buy something for a new baby of a friend or family member I don't care if they've had one or five; there's always something they are going to need like diapers, wipes, etc.
04/17/2013
It is appropriate to have a baby shower for each new child
04/17/2013
Quote:
I don't see it as a get together to give gifts if they want to bring a gift fine if not fine. It is really to celebrate the coming of a new life to the world. In some cases a miracle child. Even if they just had a baby a year or 2 ago somethings can't be reused or eventually need replacing.
Originally posted by
pootpootpoot
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have
...
more
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have never heard of this rule before, and assumed that it was normal to have a shower for each new child. What is your experience?
less
04/17/2013
Mr. John
Quote:
A shower for each and every expectant child is very appropriate. In addition, I have no problem with more than one shower held for the same expectant child. My daughter was given three showers. This came about because of peoples schedules, traveling distance, and different sides of families want personal friends to attend. It was all very successful.
Originally posted by
pootpootpoot
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have
...
more
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have never heard of this rule before, and assumed that it was normal to have a shower for each new child. What is your experience?
less
04/17/2013
Not every baby shower has to be about the gifts. I think it's perfectly fine to have a shower with each child, you're celebrating your pregnancy.
04/17/2013
Depends on what you define as a "Baby Shower". A lot of the families I know had one big party for the first child. During this party their guests all pooled in money for big items like a crib, a stroller, a high chair, etc. Then with the other children that followed they hosted smaller showers and were given the tiny "fun" gifts like toys and clothes. Other times I've seen households treat the shower like an official announcement for the pregnancy/the gender of the baby/ a celebration of the newest addition to their family. I have no issue with any of these.
On the flip side however I also know households that have showers for every single child and have an expectation that their guests should bring them a whole truckload of gifts (including larger items) for each and every child or couples who regard the Shower as a chance to beg for money and costly items and I DO have a problem with this.
I think the tacky factor has less to do with how many showers you have and more to do with your attitude towards them. If you regard a Shower as just a party or a chance to hang out with the mother-to-be and have no expectation for gifts it shouldn't be an issue. But if you're pitching a fit because you want everyone in the Shower to foot the bill for anything your newest addition might need and are expecting gifts upfront then that's a whole different ballpark...
On the flip side however I also know households that have showers for every single child and have an expectation that their guests should bring them a whole truckload of gifts (including larger items) for each and every child or couples who regard the Shower as a chance to beg for money and costly items and I DO have a problem with this.
I think the tacky factor has less to do with how many showers you have and more to do with your attitude towards them. If you regard a Shower as just a party or a chance to hang out with the mother-to-be and have no expectation for gifts it shouldn't be an issue. But if you're pitching a fit because you want everyone in the Shower to foot the bill for anything your newest addition might need and are expecting gifts upfront then that's a whole different ballpark...
04/17/2013
I have never had any baby showers for either of my kids and they are 10 years apart. Anything I got for them I did it all on my own.
I don't see anything wrong with them if they are spaced out either but if they are back to back births then there is a problem.
I don't see anything wrong with them if they are spaced out either but if they are back to back births then there is a problem.
04/17/2013
Is there really proper etiquette when it comes to baby shower?
04/17/2013
Quote:
I agree with you 100%
Originally posted by
Kitka
I'm not really sure why it matters how many baby showers someone has. If you're not a fan, don't show up or don't buy them something, seems pretty simple.
04/17/2013
I think it's fine to have one big "shower" for the first baby - often done before baby arrives and as a way for people to help the expectant parents out with small (or large, depending on the guest) gifts.
But, after that I like what's called a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. It's usually used as a meet and greet once baby #2 arrives and people if they want bring small things, diapers, outfits, toys, etc but none of the big necessities. Really more of a way to get all of the visitors out of the way at once (I wish we'd done the shower after baby - the constant stream of people in my house after was stressful!)
We purposely went out and bought all of the "big" stuff before anyone else had the chance to with our first. I knew most of my guests would bring gifts, and gladly so - I am always so happy to give gifts to new parents, or new babies - but I didn't want anyone to feel obligated to make a big purchase or spend too much on us. We chose to have a baby, it's our job to afford that baby. But all the gifts we did receive were very useful and greatly appreciated - and things we will be holding on to so we don't need to buy them again for #2!
I DO think every baby and pregnancy deserves to be celebrated - but the intentions between a first shower and subsequent to-do's need to be very different.
But, after that I like what's called a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. It's usually used as a meet and greet once baby #2 arrives and people if they want bring small things, diapers, outfits, toys, etc but none of the big necessities. Really more of a way to get all of the visitors out of the way at once (I wish we'd done the shower after baby - the constant stream of people in my house after was stressful!)
We purposely went out and bought all of the "big" stuff before anyone else had the chance to with our first. I knew most of my guests would bring gifts, and gladly so - I am always so happy to give gifts to new parents, or new babies - but I didn't want anyone to feel obligated to make a big purchase or spend too much on us. We chose to have a baby, it's our job to afford that baby. But all the gifts we did receive were very useful and greatly appreciated - and things we will be holding on to so we don't need to buy them again for #2!
I DO think every baby and pregnancy deserves to be celebrated - but the intentions between a first shower and subsequent to-do's need to be very different.
04/17/2013
Quote:
I agree with you! Tacky is a sense of entitlement. Tacky is also expecting others to pay for things you cannot afford for your baby, if you decided to have one under those circumstances. It is supposed to be about showering them with well wishes & presents if you wish, not an obligation to do so. You could just as easily NOT go, or bring a small gift such as soap or hand creme for the mother to be, not a crib or a $300 whiz-bang diaper processing center.
Originally posted by
wwwww
Depends on what you define as a "Baby Shower". A lot of the families I know had one big party for the first child. During this party their guests all pooled in money for big items like a crib, a stroller, a high chair, etc. Then with the
...
more
Depends on what you define as a "Baby Shower". A lot of the families I know had one big party for the first child. During this party their guests all pooled in money for big items like a crib, a stroller, a high chair, etc. Then with the other children that followed they hosted smaller showers and were given the tiny "fun" gifts like toys and clothes. Other times I've seen households treat the shower like an official announcement for the pregnancy/the gender of the baby/ a celebration of the newest addition to their family. I have no issue with any of these.
On the flip side however I also know households that have showers for every single child and have an expectation that their guests should bring them a whole truckload of gifts (including larger items) for each and every child or couples who regard the Shower as a chance to beg for money and costly items and I DO have a problem with this.
I think the tacky factor has less to do with how many showers you have and more to do with your attitude towards them. If you regard a Shower as just a party or a chance to hang out with the mother-to-be and have no expectation for gifts it shouldn't be an issue. But if you're pitching a fit because you want everyone in the Shower to foot the bill for anything your newest addition might need and are expecting gifts upfront then that's a whole different ballpark... less
On the flip side however I also know households that have showers for every single child and have an expectation that their guests should bring them a whole truckload of gifts (including larger items) for each and every child or couples who regard the Shower as a chance to beg for money and costly items and I DO have a problem with this.
I think the tacky factor has less to do with how many showers you have and more to do with your attitude towards them. If you regard a Shower as just a party or a chance to hang out with the mother-to-be and have no expectation for gifts it shouldn't be an issue. But if you're pitching a fit because you want everyone in the Shower to foot the bill for anything your newest addition might need and are expecting gifts upfront then that's a whole different ballpark... less
I also totally agree w/ Munko!
04/17/2013
Mr. John
Quote:
Dear Munko,
Originally posted by
Munko
I think it's fine to have one big "shower" for the first baby - often done before baby arrives and as a way for people to help the expectant parents out with small (or large, depending on the guest) gifts.
But, after that I like ... more
But, after that I like ... more
I think it's fine to have one big "shower" for the first baby - often done before baby arrives and as a way for people to help the expectant parents out with small (or large, depending on the guest) gifts.
But, after that I like what's called a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. It's usually used as a meet and greet once baby #2 arrives and people if they want bring small things, diapers, outfits, toys, etc but none of the big necessities. Really more of a way to get all of the visitors out of the way at once (I wish we'd done the shower after baby - the constant stream of people in my house after was stressful!)
We purposely went out and bought all of the "big" stuff before anyone else had the chance to with our first. I knew most of my guests would bring gifts, and gladly so - I am always so happy to give gifts to new parents, or new babies - but I didn't want anyone to feel obligated to make a big purchase or spend too much on us. We chose to have a baby, it's our job to afford that baby. But all the gifts we did receive were very useful and greatly appreciated - and things we will be holding on to so we don't need to buy them again for #2!
I DO think every baby and pregnancy deserves to be celebrated - but the intentions between a first shower and subsequent to-do's need to be very different. less
But, after that I like what's called a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. It's usually used as a meet and greet once baby #2 arrives and people if they want bring small things, diapers, outfits, toys, etc but none of the big necessities. Really more of a way to get all of the visitors out of the way at once (I wish we'd done the shower after baby - the constant stream of people in my house after was stressful!)
We purposely went out and bought all of the "big" stuff before anyone else had the chance to with our first. I knew most of my guests would bring gifts, and gladly so - I am always so happy to give gifts to new parents, or new babies - but I didn't want anyone to feel obligated to make a big purchase or spend too much on us. We chose to have a baby, it's our job to afford that baby. But all the gifts we did receive were very useful and greatly appreciated - and things we will be holding on to so we don't need to buy them again for #2!
I DO think every baby and pregnancy deserves to be celebrated - but the intentions between a first shower and subsequent to-do's need to be very different. less
I think most of all your points were spot on. I loved your use of "sprinkle", and that every pregnancy deserves to be celebrated. The only comment I might have is with regard to the price of gifts, or what you consider big. I feel it's incumbent on the expectant Mother and the Hostess to set the financial boundaries, so that everyone feels welcome, and comfortable. No one should feel expected to come with a gift. But, the reality is that families and friends come from so many different social and economic backgrounds. So, it is hard to know just what a big gift is. With regard to my own daughters baby showers, and I did say showers. She always made sure to reflect a very wide range of gifts/idea's in her registries. No gifts were ever required, nor expected. The shower for the most part was a means for having a party to celebrate the occasion.
Most importantly, and again I will quote you, "I DO think every baby and pregnancy deserves to be celebrated"
04/17/2013
Quote:
We continue to celebrate every birthday and people usually bring gifts, so what's wrong with celebrating each pregnancy? I don't believe that baby showers are all about the gifts, nor do I think that they are to help a new struggling family. The original post said she seen an article about a celebrity having a shower. The celebrity isn't struggling.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
It's not about "important." The first shower is to help a new, struggling family stock up on baby items. If the children are closer than a decade or less together, she will still have T Shirts, onesies, a crib, bedding, clothes etc.
...
more
It's not about "important." The first shower is to help a new, struggling family stock up on baby items. If the children are closer than a decade or less together, she will still have T Shirts, onesies, a crib, bedding, clothes etc.
I don't feel like it's my family's responsibility to fund my decision to breed. I had a shower with my FIRST baby. Of course, people close to my husband and I gave some gifts with subsequent children, but some people think an invite to a shower is an obligation to give a gift. (it really isn't)
Giving a gift when instructed to (which is what a shower is) has nothing to do with the "importance" of the baby. Spending time with the mother, father and the baby show you think the baby is important, not physical goods. less
I don't feel like it's my family's responsibility to fund my decision to breed. I had a shower with my FIRST baby. Of course, people close to my husband and I gave some gifts with subsequent children, but some people think an invite to a shower is an obligation to give a gift. (it really isn't)
Giving a gift when instructed to (which is what a shower is) has nothing to do with the "importance" of the baby. Spending time with the mother, father and the baby show you think the baby is important, not physical goods. less
There's nothing wrong with celebrating a new life. People don't have to bring gifts.
04/17/2013
I don't see the point of having multiple baby showers unless in in certian conditions. Like my cousin had twins her second time and she need new things.
04/17/2013
Quote:
it is believed that you shouldnt necessarily have a baby shower if you already have all the baby supplies one would need, unless it is a different gender or a long amount of time has passed and you no longer have it.
Originally posted by
pootpootpoot
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have
...
more
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have never heard of this rule before, and assumed that it was normal to have a shower for each new child. What is your experience?
less
04/17/2013
I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not like you're the one throwing the shower - your friends/coworkers/etc, are, and if they want to get together and throw you a shower, no matter which baby you're on, why not?
04/17/2013
I know I'm a guy and all, but I thought the point was to celebrate the baby, not just score some free stuff. I know a lot of people who have had multiple baby showers.
04/17/2013
Quote:
I hate going to baby showers, so the less I have to attend the better
Originally posted by
pootpootpoot
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have
...
more
Today I came across a debate about a current celebrity who was having a baby shower for her second child. Many commenters seemed to think that it was inappropriate, and that you should only have a shower for your first child. I was shocked! I have never heard of this rule before, and assumed that it was normal to have a shower for each new child. What is your experience?
less
05/01/2013
Quote:
Yeah, I agree with this. It would be okay to have a party for each one but don't expect people to buy a brand new nursery for every kid,
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I think it's tacky to have a baby shower for each child. Your friends and family should not be used to finance your choice to breed and to fully stock your new baby's room.
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think ... more
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think ... more
I think it's tacky to have a baby shower for each child. Your friends and family should not be used to finance your choice to breed and to fully stock your new baby's room.
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think it's tacky. If it has been a long time since the last baby (10 years plus) I kind of understand, as long as it's a small shower. People tend to get really irritated by being invited to a baby shower every 18 months for the same woman. (I have a couple of friends who have done this, I only go to the first one. Same with wedding showers...) less
I understand it for the first one, but after that, I think it's tacky. If it has been a long time since the last baby (10 years plus) I kind of understand, as long as it's a small shower. People tend to get really irritated by being invited to a baby shower every 18 months for the same woman. (I have a couple of friends who have done this, I only go to the first one. Same with wedding showers...) less
05/01/2013
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 22