4 Romantic Books to Disgust and Annoy Your Lover

Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Seanbaby on Cracked.com brings us the highlights of probably some of the most questionable romance advice books ever:

4 Romantic Books to Disgust and Annoy Your Lover
08/05/2011
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08/05/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
That article should be titled "4 Romantic Books Guaranteed to make you roll on the floor in laughter." :-D

I particularly liked, from the first book, tip #32: Zip! Try making love as quickly as you possibly can. Time yourselves! Try to improve on your time every few months." Um, yeah

Great find!
08/05/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
Thanks for posting this article! I have not laughed so hard in ages! Priceless!
08/05/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
That article should be titled "4 Romantic Books Guaranteed to make you roll on the floor in laughter." :-D

I particularly liked, from the first book, tip #32: Zip! Try making love as quickly as you possibly can. Time yourselves! ... more
That was funny. The one about the cardboard cutout of a celebrity was just bizarre.
08/06/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Hilarious. I had no idea who "Godek" was at first, then I got into the article and couldn't stop laughing.

Imagine the couple who does these things? Does this author think people don't have sex anymore and he has to give them stupid pieces of "advice" to get them fucking again? As if that would work.

If My Man starting timing our sex and tried to get faster and faster, I'd leave his ass.
08/06/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Hilarious. I had no idea who "Godek" was at first, then I got into the article and couldn't stop laughing.

Imagine the couple who does these things? Does this author think people don't have sex anymore and he has to give ... more
Amen!
08/06/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
hilarious.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Crystal1 Crystal1
Ha! Excellent article!

The suggestions in so many of those books are just plain laughable.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Hilarious. I had no idea who "Godek" was at first, then I got into the article and couldn't stop laughing.

Imagine the couple who does these things? Does this author think people don't have sex anymore and he has to give ... more
I imagine this type of scenario playing out:

(Clueless husband and Frustrated Wife have just finished "making love".)

Clueless Husband: Yes! I just shaved 2 minutes off my previous time! A new personal best! Honey, I am hungry; can you make me a grilled cheese sandwich?

Frustrated Wife: Sure...whatever... (Frustrated Wife saunters into the kitchen, barely suppressing her rage as she reaches for the iron skillet. However, instead of using the skillet to make Clueless Husband's sandwich, she uses it to bash him upside the skull.)
08/07/2011
Contributor: salaciousrex salaciousrex
This is awesome!!!
08/07/2011