Does breastfeeding in public offend you?

Contributor: Inwitari Inwitari
I see breast feeding women all the time at work. It doesn't bother me. But I think that women should realize that not everyone wants to see their titties hanging out- especially when there's a baby attached. Some women know to be covert about it, but some women walk around with their tits out like it's a normal thing.
05/26/2011
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Blinker, I'm kind of relieved to see that other women do feel that it isn't something absolutely neccessary. I thought I was the only one. Honestly, the breast feeding in public is rarely neccessary. I hate to sound prudish, but I would NEVER ... more
"I don't want something sucking the life out of my boob when there are store-brand formulas that ARE just as healthy."

No, No they are not. Period. End of discussion. I'm a nutrition major, P'Gell is a Lactation nurse. We both can (and P'Gell has told) tell you that is simply false. You what to SCREAM otherwise? Come back with some peer reviewed journal articles, not anecdotes. Honestly, do people think we make these recommendation up out of thin air or something? If you "don't buy into that crap" then well your going to have to reject a whole lot of modern medicine and nutrition if all you need is anecdotes to reject an extremely strong body of evidence to the contrary.

You don't want to breastfeed? Fine that your decision, it is NOT as healthy but formula will get the job done, however don't spread misinformation to justify your decision.
05/26/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
i dont see anything disgusting about it...it's natural. i breastfeed all my babies and while i did use a cover while feeding in public when babies hungry and theres no private place...
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Obviously, I don't have a problem with breastfeeding. It's every woman's choice, yada yada yada (although I do have a HUGE problem with women being judged harshly for NOT breastfeeding...and let me tell you, that happens a hell of a lot more often than people might think).

But, even though I don't have a problem with breastfeeding, I do believe that if it needs to be done in public, there's no reason why it cannot be done discreetly. I'm sorry, but if I am in a restaurant trying to eat, I do not want to have some strange woman's breasts on display. Have we never heard of blankets? (And I've heard the argument "OMG WOULD YOU WANT TO BE HALF-SMOTHERED WHILE *YOU* ATE DINNER?!!" argument, but please. No one's asking that the kid's face be bandaged in the damn blanket. Fuck sakes.)

So yeah, in short: I agree with the original poster. Just because it's natural doesn't mean you should do it in public without being discreet about it. There are lots of things that are natural that still are not appropriate to do in public.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
#1- I tried nursing; hated it! But during my short attempt, I covered myself discreetly so no one could see my tits or the baby sucking. I've seen most other nursing mothers do the same.

Now if all these woman were exposing breasts ... more
I think the reason I feel the way I do about public breastfeeding is due to three separate experiences I had in three separate restaurants. They all involved breastfeeding women who made absolutely no attempt to be discreet about what they were doing. In the third instance, the woman in question actually *followed* me around the restaurant (it was at a McDonalds) and made direct eye contact with me while she sat there with her tits hanging out. I'm sorry, but there was no fucking need of that at all.

I just think there's a way to do it discreetly, you know? I know maybe it *shouldn't* make people uncomfortable, but sometimes it does regardless.
05/26/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by namelesschaos
"I don't want something sucking the life out of my boob when there are store-brand formulas that ARE just as healthy."

No, No they are not. Period. End of discussion. I'm a nutrition major, P'Gell is a Lactation nurse. ... more
Thank you, Chaos. If I got into this discussion again......

Formula keeps most babies who are forced to be given it alive, yes. "As good as human milk" Absolutely not. Not in a million years. People need to Read the research, not lie to justify their "choices." ALL of the research. I've been studying lactation for close to 20 years. Get that kind of background behind you, and we can talk. There are thousands of peer reviewed articles, research projects and recommendations that state that there is simply no peer to human milk directly from the breast.

If a woman doesn't "want to" I guess it's her choice. (Not that her baby has any say in the matter.) It isn't a choice I would make. I did what I knew was best for MY babies, even though it was REALLY REALLY HARD the first time. I've read virtually EVERYTHING on the subject and there is simply no research that supports formula is "just as good." It usually keeps kids alive, there are some women who simply cannot breastfeed (approx 0.01% of the female population NO more) but human milk has NO peer in some canned artifical "milk." Never has, never will.

I'm glad artificial milk is there for the babies whose mother cannot or refuse to nurse them, as it keeps them alive. But, human milk is a living substance, it has antibodies in it, it prevents at least 25 different forms of cancer, it reduces the incidence of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes among about 100000 other problems later in life. I would NEVER feed my babies formula, (after my first one had a few oz of 2 different kinds and she puked her guts up) if I had not been able to make my own milk (if I were one of the 0.01% of women who can't) then I would have bought human milk from the North American Human Milk Bank. THAT'S how important it is to those of us who know the facts.

Here's the website for the Human Milk Bank of North America. link

A good site for breastfeeding benefits and FACTS. link
05/26/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote from an article about the benefits of human milk.

Can Breastfeeding Prevent Illnesses?

Breastfeeding has been shown to be protective against many illnesses, including painful ear infections, upper and lower respiratory ailments, allergies, intestinal disorders, colds, viruses, staph, strep and e coli infections, diabetes, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, many childhood cancers, meningitis, pneumonia, urinary tract infections, salmonella, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome(SIDS) as well as lifetime protection from Crohn's Disease, ulcerative colitis, some lymphomas, insulin dependent diabetes, and for girls, breast and ovarian cancer.

One way breast feeding protects your newborn from illnesses is the immune molecules, called antibodies, that are present in breast milk. Antibodies are made by your body's immune system and are very specific molecules that help you fight each illness. When babies are born, their immune systems are very immature and they have less ability to fight illness-causing germs. Through your breast milk, you give your baby immunities to illnesses to which you are immune and also those to which you have been exposed. Nursing also allows your baby to give germs to you so that your immune system can respond and can synthesize antibodies! This means that if your baby has come in contact with something which you have not, (s)he will pass these germs to you at the next nursing; during that feeding, your body will start to manufacture antibodies for that particular germ. By the time the next feeding arrives, your entire immune system will be working to provide immunities for you and your baby. If you are exposed to any bacteria or viruses, your body will be making antibodies against them and these will be in your milk. Breast milk also contains a host of other immune molecules that also help protect your baby from germs. It's an awesome system!

Research shows your child's immune system will not be fully mature for many years. While it is developing, he will be protected by being breastfed. His own immune system also develops more rapidly than does baby who is fed formula.

Does this mean breastfed babies never get sick? No, they can and do. However, the illness is generally less severe and lengthy than if the baby were not receiving his mother's milk.

Breastmilk is liquid gold, and it's yours to give!


La Leche League International

Yes, you read that right, breastfeeding babies are less likely to get many illnesses, even into adulthood and are at a much lower risk of SIDS.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Thank you, Chaos. If I got into this discussion again......

Formula keeps most babies who are forced to be given it alive, yes. "As good as human milk" Absolutely not. Not in a million years. People need to Read the research, not lie ... more
Quote: "If a woman doesn't "want to" I guess it's her choice."

Correction: It IS her choice. There is no "guessing" about it, and frankly, your opinion, in the face of another woman's CHOICE, is irrelevant.

I really don't want to come off as bitchy/snarky here, and so I apologize if I do, but just because you are a lactation nurse, that doesn't mean you can make judgments on another woman's choice. I will never, ever forget the day I sat in a lactation nurse's office with my best friend (who had just had her first baby a few weeks before). My best friend was practically hysterical because she had tried and tried to breastfeed but just could not do it, and she was choosing to formula feed instead.

This lactation nurse -- this woman was was supposed to SUPPORT new mothers, to give them advice -- she told my best friend that if she was going to give her baby formula, she might as well give her pizza and beer and get it over with.

Now, is that how a new mother deserves to be treated, simply because she made a choice that she felt was best for her AND her baby? The baby simply would not latch on, and my friend feared that she would become sick, so she made a choice. No one had the right to question that choice, and yet here was this supposedly educated woman making horrible, ignorant judgment calls.

Again, I'm sorry if this comes off as snarky, but you know, there ARE other reasons why some women would choose not to breastfeed. Did you ever stop to think that some women who have been sexually molested may not want to breastfeed because of triggering sensations? I doubt I will ever be able to breastfeed for that very reason. Yet I feel that I SHOULD because I know how judgmental people can be about such things.

It actually offends me that it's not okay to have a problem with public breastfeeding, but it's perfectly fine to shame those women who, for WHATEVER reason, choose not to breastfeed. Hello there, double standard!
05/26/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Blinker, I'm kind of relieved to see that other women do feel that it isn't something absolutely neccessary. I thought I was the only one. Honestly, the breast feeding in public is rarely neccessary. I hate to sound prudish, but I would NEVER ... more
you're 21 (according to your bio) how do you have a 13 year old? So likely, these are not your children that you're referring to. You simply cannot make assumptions about breastfeeding until you've actually learned about it. Done research.

There is PROOF of children being breastfed and having better brain development than children who are nursed. But taking all that away... there are antibodies and other nutritional elements to breast milk that just is NOT found in formula.

I could not breast feed my children. I spent 2 weeks after coming home from the hospital with my first with a hospital pump, latching baby on, and bottle feeding in rotation. My milk simply NEVER came in. It was one of the most heartbreaking times of my life, added the postpartum hormones that are naturally occurring. I felt like a failure. I tried just as hard with my second child, but was able to more easily accept it. (of course, I took supplements the second time around and my milk eventually did come in, but not for after a 10 days after my baby had gotten dehydrated and had to be bottle-fed exclusively... then she wanted nothing to do with Momma's milk... I digress)

I had to learn that THIS was the reason that formula was created. To be able to feed babies whose mothers could not feed them. I have been able to support friends who had similar issues. One friend nearly died almost a year ago from blood clots and she had to stop breast feeding in order to take her life-saving medications.

It's a woman's RIGHT to feed her children ANYWHERE she needs to (yes, NEEDS). If you don't like it, look away. You don't have to look at her. Trust me, she doesn't want you looking at her, and she definitely doesn't want to see that arrogant look of disgust on your face that you inevitably have plastered on.

"There are ways to be discrete about it to where nobody sees it. There's a car, a restroom, a breast feeding section/room, etc." Are you ACTUALLY suggesting that women go to their cars, in not always great weather, to go feed their child in an uncomfortable way, which would make their child upset, and cause them more trouble than simply the hungry child to begin with? Yes, there are ways to be discreet about it (I don't think people are taking apart the working parts of their babies... ) and most women DO find ways to be discreet (blankets, covers, etc...) but sometimes there's not a place to go.
05/26/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Kat Shanahan
Obviously, I don't have a problem with breastfeeding. It's every woman's choice, yada yada yada (although I do have a HUGE problem with women being judged harshly for NOT breastfeeding...and let me tell you, that happens a hell of a lot ... more
Have you ever actually SEEN "some strange woman's breasts on display"? Because I'm a Lactation Consultant and I know when women are nursing in public and I have NEVER in more than 20 years seen anyone "display" their breasts while breastfeeding. No, blankets over a baby's head are not the answer. Have you ever done it? Babies hate it. They scream and knock the blanket off and they get hot and sweaty and will make MORE of spectacle than if they were just fed.

When my kids were young, I simply nursed them. People CHOOSE what "offends" them more often than not. I see a LOT of shit that offends me, every single day. (Blue Kool Aid or Coca Cola in a baby bottle being one of those things I see on a regular basis, "Offends" the hell outta me, but it isn't up to me to say anything to those mothers, and it's their choice to give that to their babies, right?) The way some people chew. It "offends" me. What some people order in restaurants sometimes offends me. White belts and shoes "offend" me. But, it isn't up to me to say anything about it. We chose what we are "offended" by. If something "offends" me, it's MY PROBLEM so I simply look the other way and let people live their lives the way they choose.

Please read the ENTIRE thread. Most babies under 6 months feed on average 12 times in a 24 hour period, that means either mom never leaves the house, or she breastfeeds while she is out. NO, putting it in a bottle is NOT an option. (Again, please read the entire thread OR look up "Nipple Confusion" in a search engine to see why) So, mothers breastfeed in public.

If people don't like it, they can simply look the other way.....or put a blanket over their OWN heads and eat their dinner that way.

I must say, for people who consider themselves sexually liberated, I am seeing a LOT of intolerance for one of the things sex brings......babies and the fact that they have to eat, and the fact that many women choose the best for their babies at EVERY feeding. Out or not.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Have you ever actually SEEN "some strange woman's breasts on display"? Because I'm a Lactation Consultant and I know when women are nursing in public and I have NEVER in more than 20 years seen anyone "display" their ... more
To answer your question: yes, I have "seen some strange woman's breasts on display." On three separate occasions, in three separate restaurants (which I discussed in another of my comments.)

And please do not assume that I have no read the entire thread. I am beginning to find your attitude in this thread extremely offensive; you seem to be making the assumption that the only reason anyone would possibly disagree with you is because they haven't read the entire thread. I have...and I still disagree with your attitude that you have the right to question someone else's choice, regardless of whether you're a lactation consultant or not. I don't know if you have read my other comments, but my best friend had a *horrifying* experience with a lactation consultant (which I witnessed firsthand) that left me completely cold as to the role of these people.
05/26/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
you're 21 (according to your bio) how do you have a 13 year old? So likely, these are not your children that you're referring to. You simply cannot make assumptions about breastfeeding until you've actually learned about it. Done ... more
Thanks, BBW. You are one of the cases where I am glad formula is available. You, however, did do everything in your power to breastfeed. You tried, and in a lot of ways that counts. Even the few drops of your milk they got gave them a good head start. I have sat with clients who weren't able to breastfeed, and cried with them, it is heartbreaking. But, knowing you did everything you could is good to hear. I'm sorry you weren't able to nurse your kids. I wanted to have vaginal births more than anything. I KNOW it's better for the baby and for me. I tried and tried, and I couldn't do it. At least we know the facts and did our BEST to do what was best. Trying is better and certainly more ethical than making excuses.

Love ya, BBW.
05/26/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Thanks, BBW. You are one of the cases where I am glad formula is available. You, however, did do everything in your power to breastfeed. You tried, and in a lot of ways that counts. Even the few drops of your milk they got gave them a good head ... more
Yeah, I had to c-sections too. And in the first one, emergency C after about 15 hours of labor, the epidural stopped working after they pulled baby out. OUCHIE! We didn't even try for a VBAC, since I was cut from bellybutton to crotch, there was too much chance of rupture. I was one of the ones who also desperately wanted a vaginal birth!
05/26/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Yeah, I had to c-sections too. And in the first one, emergency C after about 15 hours of labor, the epidural stopped working after they pulled baby out. OUCHIE! We didn't even try for a VBAC, since I was cut from bellybutton to crotch, there ... more
The "Classic Incision" like you had has a high rupture rate. I had the low horizontal or "bikini" incision. I did try a second time, but I had the bikini incision. I didn't try for a third VBAC though. My third had her day planned for her.....and she decided to come a month early! I was terrified she was going to get stuck in the birth canal, like her sisters did.

I wish I'd known you when you had your babies. I'd have been at your house every day helping out.
05/26/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Recently in the news in some random Midwest McDonald's, a woman who was breastfeeding was asked to leave. The lady doth protest too much and proceeded to find other breastfeeding mothers and have a...tit-in? They all gathered at Mickey D's ... more
Its beautiful. I loved watching my wife feed our kids, and even today if I happen to see it I think its a beautiful natural act.
05/26/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by newfoundlust
Its beautiful. I loved watching my wife feed our kids, and even today if I happen to see it I think its a beautiful natural act.


You're a good partner. I always also get a nice warm feeling when I see a child nursing.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Retro Retro
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Recently in the news in some random Midwest McDonald's, a woman who was breastfeeding was asked to leave. The lady doth protest too much and proceeded to find other breastfeeding mothers and have a...tit-in? They all gathered at Mickey D's ... more
Breastfeeding doesn't offend me. I am actually friends with many breastfeeding moms. They also don't just pop out their tit and then position their child. They respect peoples' thoughts of showing a boob and cover up so you see nothing.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kdlips Kdlips
it's ok wit me a baby need to eat when it need to eat
05/26/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
The "Classic Incision" like you had has a high rupture rate. I had the low horizontal or "bikini" incision. I did try a second time, but I had the bikini incision. I didn't try for a third VBAC though. My third had her day ... more
I'm only five or so hours away too!
05/26/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Yeah, I had to c-sections too. And in the first one, emergency C after about 15 hours of labor, the epidural stopped working after they pulled baby out. OUCHIE! We didn't even try for a VBAC, since I was cut from bellybutton to crotch, there ... more
*two c-sections even.
05/26/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Yep... babies gotta eat too.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
I nursed for 2.5yrs and did it publicly the whole time. It is natural, I don't make you cover your head when you are eating even if I think the way some people eat is gross, and I don't tell you to go eat in a bathroom, why should my child have to?

Its just a breast and many times there is more breast tissue exposed by women walking around in low cut tops or bikinis than when a woman is nursing.

I support nursing in public and the improvement of laws to protect a woman's right to do so anywhere. Thankfully the state I live in has very strong laws protecting that right and I have had to educate a few businesses of these laws.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Kat Shanahan
Obviously, I don't have a problem with breastfeeding. It's every woman's choice, yada yada yada (although I do have a HUGE problem with women being judged harshly for NOT breastfeeding...and let me tell you, that happens a hell of a lot ... more
my son is autistic and has sensory processing disorder, so being covered with a blanket to him was like being smothered with it. Woman should be allowed to nurse in the way that is comfortable for them and their child without worrying about being kicked out of a place.

I did nurse by popping my boob out the top of my shirt, because it was the most comfortable for me and my son and gave us the most control over the latch, as a large breasted woman it was not easy for me to do other ways. My sons head always covered the majority of my breast tissue and what was seen is the same amount you would have seen if I was just wearing my normal shirts.

how could this be gross ? its beautiful and natural


05/26/2011
Contributor: cobiffle cobiffle
Doesnt bother me at all, I do feel like you should not do it some places in public but as long as you are being conservative and covering up so kids cant see then its fine with me
05/26/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by cobiffle
Doesnt bother me at all, I do feel like you should not do it some places in public but as long as you are being conservative and covering up so kids cant see then its fine with me
is there a reason you think children shouldn't be able to see it? It is a natural act of a baby eating, why should a child not see it? The more people are exposed to it at young ages and see it as normal and natural, the less taboo it becomes.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
my son is autistic and has sensory processing disorder, so being covered with a blanket to him was like being smothered with it. Woman should be allowed to nurse in the way that is comfortable for them and their child without worrying about being ... more
I'm sorry, but I don't think I ever used the word "gross" in relation to breastfeeding. Thank you.

I believe it is every woman's choice to breastfeed; I also believe it is every woman's choice NOT to breastfeed if she so chooses.

I am a sexual abuse survivor. I have issues when it comes to my breasts, to the point where they are off-limits to everyone. I don't appreciate the idea that someday, if I choose to have children and choose not to breastfeed because of these issues and the triggers I experience, I will be judged and vilified.

Congratulations on breastfeeding. Good for you. Don't judge me for not choosing not to do so in the future, because it's none of your business (or anyone else's) since you don't know the whole story.
05/26/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Kat Shanahan
I'm sorry, but I don't think I ever used the word "gross" in relation to breastfeeding. Thank you.

I believe it is every woman's choice to breastfeed; I also believe it is every woman's choice NOT to breastfeed if ... more
I never once said anything in judgement to a woman not breastfeeding, I would be a hypocrite if I was anti-formula, my son survives and thrives to this day because of a medical formula.
05/26/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
Doesn't bother me. The mothers I have seen feeding are discreet
05/26/2011
Contributor: CAKES CAKES
It doesn't bother me as long as they are disceet.
05/26/2011
Contributor: salaciousrex salaciousrex
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
my son is autistic and has sensory processing disorder, so being covered with a blanket to him was like being smothered with it. Woman should be allowed to nurse in the way that is comfortable for them and their child without worrying about being ... more
I think it is beautiful

In my last post I had wrote that it's fine but they should be covered.. But I never realized that with some kids you just can't cover them. When I nursed (which was winter and so no matter what my baby was covered) and when I've seen others, they were always covered. But now I know otherwise and I think it's fine no matter what, because sometimes you just don't have a choice of whether or not to cover yourself and baby or not. Babies need to eat and it's a perfectly natural act. Thanks for enlightening me
05/26/2011