Does breastfeeding in public offend you?

Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
my son is autistic and has sensory processing disorder, so being covered with a blanket to him was like being smothered with it. Woman should be allowed to nurse in the way that is comfortable for them and their child without worrying about being ... more
Awww, what a cute baby!
05/26/2011
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
my son is autistic and has sensory processing disorder, so being covered with a blanket to him was like being smothered with it. Woman should be allowed to nurse in the way that is comfortable for them and their child without worrying about being ... more
What a cutie.

I don't get people's objection to breast-feeding mothers. They're feeding a baby, not performing live sex acts. If the person watching can't tell the difference, then the problem lies with them, not with the nursing mother.

For those who find a bare breast horrifying and disgusting, be glad you don't live in New York, Hawaii, Maine, Texas or Washington, DC. Women have the right to go topless in those places, no hungry baby required. link
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I never once said anything in judgement to a woman not breastfeeding, I would be a hypocrite if I was anti-formula, my son survives and thrives to this day because of a medical formula.
Then it looks like we both read things into each others' posts that were not there. For my part, I am going to apologize for my having done that.

However, there are ways of indirectly judging people as well, and to be frank, I've had to defend my choice way too many times to people who have no right to question it. I guess it's a hot-button topic with me, because, well, it's my choice and no one else's to make.

I guess I just don't get why it's okay to judge in one direction, but not in the other. It seems to be perfectly fine to judge a woman for *not* breastfeeding, and to cast all sorts of aspersions upon her, but it's not okay to have any kind of issue with breastfeeding. (I'm not pointing that at you in particular, by the way; it's just become sort of clear to me through reading this entire thread that judgment of non-breastfeeding women is perfectly fine for some reason. Unless, of course, their reason for not breastfeeding is "good enough".)
05/26/2011
Contributor: NarcissisticLust NarcissisticLust
It's nature, but there is a line. I was at the park with my younger sister and a woman's four year old came up to the bench, unbuttoned his mother's shirt, and started snacking right there. In some climates it is necessary to breast feed for that amount of time, but in the Midwest, we have grocery stores and apple sauce. Other than that, I have never been in a situation where breast feeding was awkward or even remotely disgusting. Most mother's have covered their chest with a rag and everyone moves on with their day.
05/26/2011
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
So fucking stupid, every time this is on the news and someone has a stick up their ass about it. It's perfectly natural, and as long as the women is shielding herself, it's just fine by me. The only reason I say shielding herself is because that's the only thing that should be the issue, and most women I know are very polite when they fed their child.

Things like this is why so many young moms now are putting their kids on formula as soon as they can. It's almost shunned that they care for their child. I remember my mother used to go to a meeting with other breast feeding mothers when my brother was born, she did with my sister and I as well. I can't recall the name for it now, but they fought places that turned away women or even asked them to use the bathroom for that.
05/27/2011
Contributor: big b big b
if its discreet fine.someone making a big deal of it hanging it out for all to see hopping to start something so she can be outraged.thats not cool and you know the ones im talking about.
05/27/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Kat Shanahan
I'm sorry, but I don't think I ever used the word "gross" in relation to breastfeeding. Thank you.

I believe it is every woman's choice to breastfeed; I also believe it is every woman's choice NOT to breastfeed if ... more
I'm an abuse and rape survivor as well. I understand your triggers. It is different (mentally, emotionally, physically) when it's your children. And if and when you have children, you will understand that. (and I'm not saying that to be patronizing, I mean that in the sincerest way possible)

I would eagerly encourage you to seek help for dealing with your PTSD and depression. Especially for your triggers. I would encourage you to seek someone whose area of expertise is helping survivors to reclaim their sexual identity and freedom.

Good luck.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Kat Shanahan
Then it looks like we both read things into each others' posts that were not there. For my part, I am going to apologize for my having done that.

However, there are ways of indirectly judging people as well, and to be frank, I've had ... more
I understand 100%, I have felt the same exact judgement when I started feeding my son his medical formula, its not right to judge on either side, we are all just trying to care for our children.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I'm an abuse and rape survivor as well. I understand your triggers. It is different (mentally, emotionally, physically) when it's your children. And if and when you have children, you will understand that. (and I'm not saying that to ... more
BBW is correct, I am also a rape survivor and I thought breastfeeding would be too hard for me, but I sought therapy and when my son was born it just seemed like a natural thing to do, there was no trigger just the little face looking up at me needing my help. Even if you only nurse for a few weeks, it makes a difference
05/27/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I'm an abuse and rape survivor as well. I understand your triggers. It is different (mentally, emotionally, physically) when it's your children. And if and when you have children, you will understand that. (and I'm not saying that to ... more
You might not have meant it to be patronizing, but...I'm sorry to say that it really came off that way. Please don't tell it will be somehow "different" when they're my children instead of someone else's. I know you only meant to be helpful, but it doesn't help.

I have been in therapy for years. Sixteen, to be exact.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
BBW is correct, I am also a rape survivor and I thought breastfeeding would be too hard for me, but I sought therapy and when my son was born it just seemed like a natural thing to do, there was no trigger just the little face looking up at me ... more
I'm glad that for you there was no trigger. If I ever choose to have children (which is doubtful; I've never wanted children, and it doesn't seem to be changing as I get older) then I hope it is the same for me, but there is never any guarantee.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Kat Shanahan Kat Shanahan
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I'm an abuse and rape survivor as well. I understand your triggers. It is different (mentally, emotionally, physically) when it's your children. And if and when you have children, you will understand that. (and I'm not saying that to ... more
I think it's probably better that I step away from this thread. I should have known better than to get involved in the first place, actually; whenever I get involved in a discussion about breastfeeding it always ends up in the same place.
05/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
my son is autistic and has sensory processing disorder, so being covered with a blanket to him was like being smothered with it. Woman should be allowed to nurse in the way that is comfortable for them and their child without worrying about being ... more
AW. What a sweetie!

Two of my kids have Sensory Processing Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome and my youngest both of these and has mild Auspergers. (with an IQ that is higher than the school tests can test for. Their tests top out at 135 and we were told she was "above the edge of the bell curve and topped out the score. There is no way we can even get a ball park on this girl's IQ.") We are supposed to get a "private" IQ test, but we can't afford it at the time being.) I agree, putting a blanket over these kids heads would feel like actual suffocation to them. My oldest would SCREAM so hard, and cry so hard when I tried a blanket that she would get too upset to nurse. Then, I'd have a very unhappy baby, who hadn't had any food or fluid and was screaming also. What "offends" people more? A breast you can't even SEE or a screaming child?

The blanket over the head may work for some kids, but not for mine.

Your son is beautiful.

I also agree it is GOOD for children to see babies breastfeeding. If their parents are so hung up that they don't tell their children about the way babies are fed, how the hell are they going to find out?

I always breastfed in public. Was I "discreet?" I guess that depends on one's definition. I did NOT cover myself with a freaking tent, and blankets failed with us. However, no one ever saw more or even the amount of my breast that one would see with a low cut top. Most of the time people would just walk up to me and ask to see the sleeping baby. I'd just say, "She's nursing now. Maybe you can see her when she's done." Most people were very polite about this. I NEVER had anyone give me a dirty look or say anything. Of course, I met people eye to eye and usually smiled while I was nursing. I had nothing to be ashamed of, I was proud of the way I was feeding my babies and it showed.
05/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
my son is autistic and has sensory processing disorder, so being covered with a blanket to him was like being smothered with it. Woman should be allowed to nurse in the way that is comfortable for them and their child without worrying about being ... more
AW. What a sweetie!

Two of my kids have Sensory Processing Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome and my youngest both of these and has mild Auspergers. (with an IQ that is higher than the school tests can test for. Their tests top out at 135 and we were told she was "above the edge of the bell curve and topped out the score. There is no way we can even get a ball park on this girl's IQ.") We are supposed to get a "private" IQ test, but we can't afford it at the time being.) I agree, putting a blanket over these kids heads would feel like actual suffocation to them. My oldest would SCREAM so hard, and cry so hard when I tried a blanket that she would get too upset to nurse. Then, I'd have a very unhappy baby, who hadn't had any food or fluid and was screaming also. What "offends" people more? A breast you can't even SEE or a screaming child?

The blanket over the head may work for some kids, but not for mine.

Your son is beautiful.

I also agree it is GOOD for children to see babies breastfeeding. If their parents are so hung up that they don't tell their children about the way babies are fed, how the hell are they going to find out?

I always breastfed in public. Was I "discreet?" I guess that depends on one's definition. I did NOT cover myself with a freaking tent, and blankets failed with us. However, no one ever saw more or even the amount of my breast that one would see with a low cut top. Most of the time people would just walk up to me and ask to see the sleeping baby. I'd just say, "She's nursing now. Maybe you can see her when she's done." Most people were very polite about this. I NEVER had anyone give me a dirty look or say anything. Of course, I met people eye to eye and usually smiled while I was nursing. I had nothing to be ashamed of, I was proud of the way I was feeding my babies and it showed.
05/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by DustBunny
So fucking stupid, every time this is on the news and someone has a stick up their ass about it. It's perfectly natural, and as long as the women is shielding herself, it's just fine by me. The only reason I say shielding herself is because ... more
My guess would be La Leche League? I was a LLL leader for 20 years. I just stopped leading meetings a few months ago. Great organization, but really not what it was since the internet. I really miss those days and the commradrie I had with other women who chose to parent the same way I did. It was magical.
05/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by big b
if its discreet fine.someone making a big deal of it hanging it out for all to see hopping to start something so she can be outraged.thats not cool and you know the ones im talking about.
No, I don't. WHO are you talking about? I've never seen a woman intentionally "let it hang out" so she can be outraged. Women take out their breasts to feed their children. Seeing as I'm a Lactation Consultant and have worked with close to 10,000 women in my career, I'd like to meet one of these women, just for interest's sake.

Where do you suppose I would run into such a creature?
05/27/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I even know women who wear a bra tank under a t-shirt so they can cover the top of the breast (but not the baby's head) and could pull the breast over the top of the tank. It worked really well for them.
05/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I'm an abuse and rape survivor as well. I understand your triggers. It is different (mentally, emotionally, physically) when it's your children. And if and when you have children, you will understand that. (and I'm not saying that to ... more
ABSOLUTELY! I have had a large number of clients who were sexually abused (I was, too, and I nursed my kids for as long as 4 years) and I encourage every woman with an issue like this to get into therapy and come to grips with the issue BEFORE giving birth.

I can assure these women, there are things that are going to be much stronger triggers than breastfeeding. My biggest triggers were when my oldest dd was about the age I was when the abuse took place. I OWED IT to my kids to get my house in order before I had them (and while I was raising them) so that I could be the best mother possible. Breastfeeding aside, there are so many things that cause trigger moments in Mothering, that I think anyone who has had the misfortune (and that is a LOT of us) to have been brutalized as children needs to do everything in his or her power to gain control of the issue, to retract the Power of the abuser, and to allow oneself to be free from the horror, so that one can be a good, full time, all the way there mother. The feeding method has little impact on this, but MOTHERING itself does.

I got the help, got my Power back and the abuser holds NOTHING over me anymore. I'm not a "victim" I'm not a "survivor" I'm just a women who regained her power over a bad person's actions. By doing so I could be fully there for my children, no matter how they were fed.
05/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I even know women who wear a bra tank under a t-shirt so they can cover the top of the breast (but not the baby's head) and could pull the breast over the top of the tank. It worked really well for them.
They make nursing tanks (which didn't come out around the age my youngest was weaned) that open from the top, like a bra, but have the tank cover your tummy. Not only is it a bit discreet, but it covers "post pregnancy belly" really nicely. Here's one

I was so jealous when these came out. It was right around the time my youngest was close to being totally weaned, and we were only nursing about 3 times a week and she didn't need it while we were out anymore (Damn, the kid was FOUR!) I wish I had had these tops for all my kids. The nursing wear when I had my kids was awful! Not to mention expensive and ugly.

They have some really nice nursing clothes now. I did have a couple of nice dresses that I basically lived in when my little one was breastfeeding.

The woman in the picture above has obviously not recently given birth. LOL!
05/27/2011
Contributor: KrissyRoro KrissyRoro
Who cares where or when! It's completely natural and needed for the baby. And it's SO much better for the baby. If anything, people should be offended when you see someone feeding their baby formula. I personally don't have kids, but this subject really bothers me. I don't see what the big deal as long as it's covered up.
Like my Great-Grandma use to say...
"You don't eat your dinner in the bathroom, DO YOU?"
05/28/2011
Contributor: brittany8612 brittany8612
um i still breastfeed and actually there's a law that says you can breastfeed where ever you please
i would be such a hassle to have to feed my son on a toilet in a fastfood resturant or have to go to the car
plus there's hooter hiders!
link
08/03/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
I used to think that breastfeeding in public was weird and uncalled for when I was younger. But I began babysitting for a family 4 years ago and have witnessed the mom breastfeed two kids in the house. Now that I've been exposed to it, heard her experience, and learned to disassociate boobs with being taboo, it doesn't bother me.

My personal preference is for one to be discreet, but I certainly don't take offense to feeding in public.
08/04/2011
Contributor: kjkitty kjkitty
I'm just always really taken aback. I can't believe what I'm seeing. And I have a hard time not staring just because it's THERE.
08/04/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
ya know, this is a pretty american issue. one of the first things that shocked me during my year in europe was the showing of a mother full-on breastfeeding in a breastfeeding bra commercial. there, it is accepted as a body part, and natural.
here we apply sexual and perverted labels to it, oversexualize it and then call it immoral, wrong and dirty.

same goes with small female children wearing bathing suit tops over breasts that wont develop for a decade or more. or women having to wear tops in beaches. in europe, not such a big deal. why? because people are not getting hard ons and thinking of raping them and thinking how slutty they are. it's not oversexualized. it's considered for what it is, a normal human body part.


sigh.

08/04/2011
Contributor: jessterinthebed jessterinthebed
I think a cover or nursing blanket would be appropriate to cover up onlookers. I breastfed my daughter and was milk shy, couldn't produce in public, very much
08/23/2011
Contributor: mcl272 mcl272
i'm not offended by this at all! breast feeding is always best for a baby. but, i'll admit i've seen some horrible sights! i do plan on breast feeding, don't plan on just pulling my boobs out for everybody to see! atleast use a blanket!
09/12/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
The way I see it, chest tissue is chest tissue. Women just have more of it than men. So why should females be shy about something men aren't? And if you want to breastfeed your kid, I say do it. Skin is skin, so what if that skin lactates. So what if an infant drinks from that skin.

Big deal.
09/12/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'm fine with it as long as there's some effort made to be discreet. I don't have a problem with breasts or breast feeding, but I'd rather not think of mine as "milk glands" or "milk sacks", so seeing a baby suckling in plain view bothers me a bit, since it's not something I'm comfortable with for my own body.
09/12/2011
Contributor: cheetahpita cheetahpita
nope, doesn't bother me. I'd prefer it if a blanket or something was used as a cover, but when a baby's hungry, what are you going to do? Gotta feed him/her. I've seen it done very discretely - even carried on a conversation with a lady sitting next to me on the plane while she breastfeed- and I've seen it done non-discretely... but either way, it's something that has to be done.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Illumin8 Illumin8
I personally agree with Blinker on this one. I'm completely in favor of breastfeeding, but the majority of the time that I see it being done in public, the mothers make little to no attempt to cover up whatsoever. If it would be inappropriate in any other circumstances to expose yourself, why not then?
09/12/2011